Just joined... scared!!

[mumtoone]

Hi everyone

I don't even know if i have ptsd .... am ringing for a doctors appointment in the morning (monday) to discuss it

basically ... i was abused by my ex husband. I met him in the september, got pregnant the following january, baby born that october and was separated the following may .... so really it was a fast and furious relationship - this was 4 yrs ago (well, 5 from beginning of relationship - abuse started almost immediately)

i escaped when my son was 6 months old - best thing i ever did... however, recently (or maybe all along and only recently i'm acknowledging it?) ... i've been having VIVID flashbacks of what he did and said ... i could be driving along, watching telly - not even thinking consciously of it and BANG .. there it is - no warning, no nothing

I even cry for really no reason

Thats not normal behaviour is it? ... dont even know if it is ptsd or not ... i am just so confused so signed up here to see if anyone could help ...

(am so sorry for the essay - got a bit carried away!!) well done for getting this far!!

[Sue K with 5]

Hi Mum

I was in a violent relationship fromt he age of 16 - 21 during that time i developed health anxiety and agoraphobia.

For years after we left I got on with my life living with what I now know was a mild form of anxiety and panic in comparison and like you started to get flash backs of the things he did.

It is very hard and I know what you are going through but I will say you must get help now. Dont be like me and pretend it will go away with time. Unless you talk about these things honey you will be stuck with it and you dont have to be. You have a right to move forwar and enjoy your life again

Hope things start to improve for you and if you ever need to talk please pm me or msn


sue
xxxx



scknight

[mooks]

hi
Mum
welcome xx
I too suffer ptsd...its very horrible ..it does sound like you suffer.
My Dad committed suicide last year and I get all sorts of images popping into my head ...what he looked like..what was going through his mind etc...
Im finding therapy v. good and it maybe something for you too look at...phoning the Doctors is ssooo brave at least its a positive step you know you need help xxx

[mumtoone]

thanks for the replies - nice to know there are other people out there that know i'm not insane!!

by the way... my name is rebecca just so you don't have to keep calling me mum (cos thats a bit weird teehee!)

[Sue K with 5]

Rebecca

Being insane would be easy, you dont think like others do, therefore your void of real emotion. If we were insane we would probably cope with it because we would know no better



Hugs and dont worry this will get better for you

xxx

scknight

[manmoor]

Hi Rebecca,

A big warm welcome to you.

Take Care

Mandyxx

[honeybee3939]

Hi Rebecca,

A BIg warm welcome to you, lovely to see you here, im sure you will get some great advice here while making new friends on the way.:D

First Steps:
First Steps to overcoming Panic and Anxiety (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=942)

Love

Andrea
xxxx

"If you have a worry turn it into a problem, you cant solve worrys but you can solve problems"

[mumtoone]

Thanks for the really great welcome - its always scary venturing in to another forum (or a new one) and wondering what reception you will get!!

[Granny Primark]

Hi rebecca,

Welcome to the site. As you have already found out this site is so good, and the members are so helpful and supportive of one another.
I hope things start to improve for you.

Take care
LYNN xx

[yorkylover]

Hi Mum,and welcome.Dont be scared!!!!!!Everyones great here.;)

Ellen XX

[LickeyEndBlues]

Hi Mumtoone

Welcome to this fantastic site. You will find lots of support in here along with advice, help and friendly banter.

I have ben using it now for a couple of months and feel it really helps me.

Take care

Iain

What's so funny about peace, love and understanding?

[ruthb1]

hi rebecca,


you are not alone on this site, we have all been through similar experiences or can relate to certain things that you are saying.

this site will definatly help you, i too live with a control freak so i know whats its like..

take care

ruth x

[trac67]

Hi,

Welcome to the forum, you will get a lot of good advice here and make some new friends.

take care

Trac xx

'Live your life with arms wide open, today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten'

[bjaques]

Hi Rebecca,

Hope all goes well with the Doc's, you have made a great fist step!

Ben

[mumtoone]

thanks ben .... and ellen and trac and all the others ...

i'm a bit worried she wil think its all in my head and i'm making it up ..!

[Jim_P]

<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">I was in a violent relationship fromt he age of 16 - 21 during that time i developed health anxiety and agoraphobia</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">

Probably a lot of research out there on this subject, though if there isn't (doubtful) I firmly believe that growing up around violence causes agoraphobia and anxiety state. It seems to have in my case. And I see you mention violence as a possible cause in your post mumtoone.

The real scary thing about all this stuff (depression, PTSD) is that it's all very insidious and crafty - somehow, after years of it, you convince yourself that this is your lifestyle and you go alone living that way without realising you're just falling deeper and deeper into a black hole. One day you wake up and ten years have passed and you've lived half your life away like this and then you get real scared. I'm in my thirties and for the last fifteen years I've hardly been out the house, I don't have any friends, I haven't had a relationship in ten years, and I feel as if I don't exist or that I'm dissapearing. The only connection I have to society is through my psychotherapist and my family, which thankfully is large and supportive.

Written out like that, you think well that's just crazy. But like someone said on this thread in an earlier post, going insane is easy. I wish sometimes I would go insane and then I'd really escape from it. Going insane is an escape routine. But no, because we don't go nuts, we suffer more.

[nomorepanic]

Hi Mum

Welcome aboard and lovely to see you here.

Hope we can be of some help to you.

Nicola

People will forget what you said
People will forget what you did
But people will never forget how you made them feel