Walking on ice
08-03-14, 10:54
Hi everyone, this is my first post. It is so good to know that there is a channel where I can go to to seek advice and such a relief knowing that there are lots of people going through same thing I do who can best relate to me and perhaps more knowledgeable about OCD.
To give u a brief background, I have a relationship with a 47 year old guy who has OCD. We have been together for 7 years and broke up twice already. Both break ups were so traumatic for me because he just dropped me like a trash. He learned about his OCD when I told him he has it. Our break ups were so heartbreaking because of the manner it was done. In an argument, He just walked away and didn't talked to me for months. Being in a deep relationship, that kind of breakup is not acceptable and I was so devastated. I came to a point that I became so depressed and had panic attacks as well. I suffered that for almost a year. With the second breakup, same thing happened. No closure. He communicated with me after 3 months. Apologized and asked me if I could wait for him until he finishes a problem and we will end up together. This time he said within the year.
My problem now is I suffered trauma from the previous break ups. But because I love him so much, I don't think of that anymore. We were happy at first but I'm like in a roller coaster. Happy, hurt,happy hurt.... I'm really having a difficulty communicating with him. To him it is always an argument even if it wasn't my intention. To me it is just purely communication. To him it is always dead end. He is always right and he will just hang up on me and not talk to me for days. What's worse he tells me I make him scared. In reality I'm the one who is always scared because I feel like he is so fickle minded and so I always end up doubting his promises. My trauma sets in. Everytime he walks away I get scared. I already imagine that he would drop be the same way and going back to that kind of hurt is devastating. My question is how do u handle a guy with an OCD when agitated? When he says words like I'm scaring him, is that true? Do they ever get back to their old feeling that I'm not scary? Please help me. I'm always depressed about this. Now I always want to run away first before he starts to because I don't want to find myself in that position again and again. I initiate space right away everytime I feel he's agitated and scared to relax him. Am I doing it right?
Pls enlighten me. Thanks
Walking on ice
To give u a brief background, I have a relationship with a 47 year old guy who has OCD. We have been together for 7 years and broke up twice already. Both break ups were so traumatic for me because he just dropped me like a trash. He learned about his OCD when I told him he has it. Our break ups were so heartbreaking because of the manner it was done. In an argument, He just walked away and didn't talked to me for months. Being in a deep relationship, that kind of breakup is not acceptable and I was so devastated. I came to a point that I became so depressed and had panic attacks as well. I suffered that for almost a year. With the second breakup, same thing happened. No closure. He communicated with me after 3 months. Apologized and asked me if I could wait for him until he finishes a problem and we will end up together. This time he said within the year.
My problem now is I suffered trauma from the previous break ups. But because I love him so much, I don't think of that anymore. We were happy at first but I'm like in a roller coaster. Happy, hurt,happy hurt.... I'm really having a difficulty communicating with him. To him it is always an argument even if it wasn't my intention. To me it is just purely communication. To him it is always dead end. He is always right and he will just hang up on me and not talk to me for days. What's worse he tells me I make him scared. In reality I'm the one who is always scared because I feel like he is so fickle minded and so I always end up doubting his promises. My trauma sets in. Everytime he walks away I get scared. I already imagine that he would drop be the same way and going back to that kind of hurt is devastating. My question is how do u handle a guy with an OCD when agitated? When he says words like I'm scaring him, is that true? Do they ever get back to their old feeling that I'm not scary? Please help me. I'm always depressed about this. Now I always want to run away first before he starts to because I don't want to find myself in that position again and again. I initiate space right away everytime I feel he's agitated and scared to relax him. Am I doing it right?
Pls enlighten me. Thanks
Walking on ice