Acceptance: My thoughts

[Fishmanpa]

I posted this in response to a thread and it was suggested I post it as a new thread. (Thanks TooMuch!)

It's often said and is a fact, that acceptance is key in recovering from anxiety disorder, HA and panic attacks. These are my thoughts on what acceptance is, how it applies to anxiety disorders and it means to me personally.

Essentially, anxiety is a feeling just like any other feeling (happiness, sadness, love, anger etc.) By recognizing that, you can begin to accept it. Accepting is the key as trying to fight your anxiety only perpetuates it and reinforces the mindset that it's intolerable to deal with.

Keep in mind, accepting it doesn't mean you're resigning yourself to a life of living with anxiety or panic attacks, it just means means you would benefit by accepting reality as it is, and for now, your reality includes anxiety. The bottom line is that the feeling of anxiety, while it sucks, is not the end of the world. It's not unlike how I use acceptance with the physical and emotional challenges I face due to my illnesses. The reality of my life right now is that my cancer has a 50/50 chance of returning and my heart can decide to give up on me.

No, I don't suffer with HA or GAD but I've had my own bouts with "scanxiety" and "Eyeore" (depression) and yes, they prove to be quite challenging. My own Dragon has found a way to breathe fire down my neck every three months at check up time. Fortunately, and partly due to what I've learned here, I can rationalize what's taking place and put out the fire. Recognizing this and accepting this gives me an edge in dealing with it. I know the signs and symptoms of anxiety so well at this point that I can seek out help if I feel I can't control them. Also, using the CBT techniques I learned from the free course here, I've got a few weapons in my holster to use should I be attacked.

Don't confuse acceptance with giving up. On the contrary, acceptance is the best ways to fight the Dragon. So when someone says fight back, know that acceptance is a pretty big sword to wield. Acceptance, CBT, mindfullness, relaxation techniques and the many other ways to treat anxiety are methods to keep in your arsenal and bag of tricks on the road to recovery. It's not easy but nothing in life truly worth it is. However, the payoffs for your hard work are immeasurable.

I'm convinced, and as so many here have and are doing, you can recover. It truly brings me joy to read the reports of the many that are beating this Dragon and learning to live again. Take it from one that knows mortality intimately. Life is much too short to spend worrying. I take what it says in my signature to heart and it's a reminder to me everyday. I hope it inspires you as well :)

Positive thoughts

[TooMuchToLiveFor]

Ahhhh….GOOD! I was so hoping you would make this a thread! Acceptance can be hard to explain, and this sums it up so well!

[claireypoo]

Absolutely brilliant! :) Thank you. X

[Primula]

Yes that's what acceptance means to me too. It doesn't mean giving up, and resigning yourself to anxiety forever. It simply means that's it's ok to feel anxious, and if you can just relax towards the feelings, and keep practising eventually you will feel better.

I had a total meltdown last weekend with anxiety , which resulted in me seeing my doctor. I thought they were going to section me I was in such a bad way, but my doctor was fantastic. She looked at me calmly and said "it's ok to feel like this, it's ok that you feel you can't cope". Immediately I felt the tension release.

I'm not cured, but I've been here before and I know that there is a way out. The best things for me have been, reading the posts of people who are taming the dragon on this website, Claire Weekes book,Self help for your nerves. A mindfulness book called The Happiness Trap, and the CBT course on this website. Also most importantly, NOT googling, or asking for reassurance about my symptoms.

When you are anxious try to make your anxiety worse, you really can't, and you find it subsides. It will come back to start with, but you just keep going through them with acceptance, and gradually they stop mattering..

We all have to realise, that it's panic and anxiety that keep things going. Although just because you stop panicking doesn't mean bad things will never happen, just that you will be better able to cope, if you have a handle on your feelings.

As I've said before I have two friends who have serious illnesses, and also a friend who has just suffered the loss of her son, and I would honestly say that the three of them are coping way better than me, because they don't have panic and anxiety.

So what I have come to understand is, our panic and anxiety needs to be separated from our Health Anxiety symptoms, so that we can find rationality and hopefully then we can lead the sort of lives "normal" people do.

As Claire Weekes said in her book, "don't let panic and anxiety bluff you". They are just thoughts in a sensitised, fatigued mind and body, and with some work from yourself you will get better.

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[Tanner40]

Awesome post, Fishmanpa. Acceptance was a difficult concept for me to come to terms with, as it felt like giving up the fight. Acceptance is anything but giving up. Acceptance means that the fight has truly begun.
I had to learn that all of the feelings of anxiety and terror were just that, feelings. Like all other feelings, they can be helpful or hurtful. It is our reaction to our feelings that gives anxiety it's power. What that meant for me is that I had to accept the feelings were anxiety and thus, normal. But it also meant that behind the initial acceptance was a second task. Accept the feeling and control my reaction to those feelings.
Once I learned to accept the feelings, it was much easier to control my reactions. I was able to turn an irrational thought and extreme reaction into a rational thought and a more sane reaction.
Practicing acceptance in this manner on a daily basis is what allowed my mind to clear and calm enough for recovery to begin. Acceptance is so key.

[almamatters]

Really great post. It's suprising how difficult acceptance is , accepting I suffer from HA took me years to admit to. Thanks for posting this :)

[MRS STRESS ED]

Fishmanpa excellent post as always and so true ,im still on the long road to recovery but this time I know how to fight it ,I get out my tool bag and get my big shiney key its my key to acceptance and I keep on fighting everyday x :)

[Sallyg]

I couldn't agree more. Thanks for writing and sharing your journey to living with, amongst, infront of and sometimes under anxiety :)

I really related to what you say about anxiety being another feeling and learning to experience it, almost welcome it, really is the key. I can't say I have completely mastered this, but I know that it is true. I once read that anxiety only lasts a few seconds, like any other emotion and like any other emotion, the thing that keeps it going is thinking. Attaching. So somehow, as mindfullness teaches us, we have to accept, welcome and somehow be detached all at the same time.........to let things move on.

[Round in circles]

Really great post Fishmanpa. I would add some thoughts but you pretty much nailed it in one.