are intrusive thoughts normal? theyre taking over my life. please help.

[gina1343]

okay so im 17. i have anxiety..over everything basically and about a week or so ago ive been having intrusive thoughts. bad, horrible thoughts like violent and sexual perverted thoughts and theyre making me go crazy. i would never do such a thing but why am i thinking them? im scared and they give me so much anxiety and i have panic attacks and cant stop crying because im afraid of going crazy. am i going to be like a psycho killer one day? i dont want to be. im a gentle person, really. im afraid these are never going to go away and it makes me sick where ill stay in bed and do nothing except for looking at my 4 walls. i dont eat because they make me feel guilty and i get an upset stomach. ive become kinda distant because i feel like im crazy and i dont want to be i just want them to go away and i want to be normal. please tell me im normal. will these ever go away??? im afraid of when i get older and have a bf... what if i have intrusive thoughts about him??! or my kids if i have kids? sometimes i feel like im not worthy of living because theyre so bad. what do i do. i cant stop crying. please help me!

sometimes i feel the urge to act out on these thoughts just so the thoughts would just leave me alone. im not going to and i dont want to. but my mind makes me think thats how im gonna get rid of them. my mind is just tricking me. i need to remember im not crazy. these thoughts arent real. im having an anxiety attack and my heart is beating so fast and my chest hurts and im so hot. i just need to breathe.

[Dissolved girl]

Hey there
I don't get 'intrusive' thoughts myself but from what i have found out it is perfectly normal! Read this link;

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/am-i-normal/201110/intrusive-thoughts-normal-or-not

Don't worry yourself too much. Everyone has weird thoughts from time to time. I know i have had some really messed up dreams! BUT they are just thoughts and your not going to act on them.
Try and push them out of your head, go read a book, watch a film, take your mind off of it

They will go eventually

Take care Xx

[TooMuchToLiveFor]

Hi Gina,
I am sorry you are having such a hard time, but MANY people struggle with intrusive thoughts, and you can find relief from them! I promise!
What are you doing to treat your anxiety? Have you talked to your GP or a therapist?
I believe intrusive thoughts are usually a part of OCD, but I do not have personal experience in this area so you would want to get your information from a professional.

What I do know is that you are not alone, and there is help for you! You don't have to live like this! And, the very fact that you are so traumatized by these thoughts means that you are not going to act on them. They are just thoughts.

We are here to root you on! What steps can you take right away toward recovery? Can you talk to your parents?

---------- Post added at 22:09 ---------- Previous post was at 22:08 ----------

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/articles/ocd/

Check this out-- it may help too. :)

[MyNameIsTerry]

Hi Gina,

You are definately not crazy. Something that pops up in mental health literature about intrusive thoughts is that the difference between you and that "pyscho killer" is that you recognise the thoughts as wrong - they don't. To them, thats all normal and they don't question it.

So, remember that.

Intrusive thoughts are common to people with anxiety and I've read from various sources that these can be violent or graphically sexual in a manner that you would not associate as normal to you. Did you know they say that people with intrusive thoughts can even have them about sexually abusing children which is abhorent to them so they feel guilty? But that doesn't make them that way and again thats from the literature.

I've had thoughts that are violent or sexually graphic and they are disturbing but I've never done any of it or even had the urge to, yet they are there. We all have our fantasies, some more graphic than others but anxiety seems to take them to a whole new level that are no longer within the realm of an accepted fantasy to the person.

You clearly care about other people as your mind is already getting into the "What if" patterns about your future. But remember, thoughts don't neccessarily equate to actions. If they did, I think society would be a very different place. It's just that you can't really see things clearly right now but you will, with some help.

Thats anxiety all over, it takes a normal response and bends it so far out of shape that we don't recognise it anymore.

The thing to do is get help and by coming on here and discussing it, you have made the first step by admitting you have a problem. Don't be afraid to ask more, if you look through the boards you will see people will all sorts of issues.

The next step is to accept some help. It's hard to do all this by yourself. With intrusive thoughts it may be even harder to someone since they may need someone to help them reason out such thoughts until they feel they can make progress on them and control them.

CBT is a starting place with therapy. CBT doesn't go into all your past, thats pyschotherapy, but it looks at your thoughts, feelings & emotions and how they they are linked and work in combination with each other. The aim can be to know how its happening, accept that they are there but don't give them the strength they want.

All people from time to time have what could be classed as disturbing thoughts to most people but yours have been too much. Before I had any of this, I can remember violent thoughts towards bosses but the difference is that you put no strength into them, it was just anger over something, and that anxious mind wasn't paying them any attention.

You may find Mindfulness meditation very useful. The idea being that you let your mind drift and bring it back to the present as it drifts towards certain thoughts. You do this initially as guided (e.g. MP3, CD, DVD, etc) and it's alongside monitoring your breathing. It helps and can be done anywhere as you get better at it, which can take some time for some people but may still offer some relief from the thoughts whilst you get to that point.

Calming your mind might turn them off enough for you to dismiss them when they occur or reason them out knowing you won't do anything, you are normal, etc.

I think in someways it's about trust and I get the reference above about OCD. I have OCD, which didn't manifest in the first 3-4 years of my issues. When it did, it was as if I just didn't trust myself and the repetitive checking was the outcome of that. So, I wonder whether that is sometimes part of the distress of intrusive thoughts as you worry your mind will be automatic in acting and not use your sensible conscious brain to say "no, I don't do that".

I don't know what other people think but I've noticed some people find this more distressing than the physical symptoms as you think you are losing your mind.

Remember, you are not. As the professionals say, people who do don't know they are.

All the best.


T

[TooMuchToLiveFor]

Wonderful post, Terry!
I felt I learned a lot from it even though these aren't my particular issues.
Thank you for writing such a thoughtful and insightful post.

[gina1343]

thank you. if you could read the second paragraph and respond? is that thought normal? i have no intentions on acting out on these thoughts at all like i said im afraid of them. but sometimes my mind tells me or makes me feel like i need to so they will go away. im not though. please dont think im crazy

---------- Post added at 01:10 ---------- Previous post was at 01:04 ----------

thank you so much. god bless!!

[MyNameIsTerry]

Hi Gina,

Per your request, what you are physically feeling is typical of anxiety & panic. Breath and if you can, do something which takes your mind off it. I know this is very hard at first but as I improved I did notice how my anxiety wouldn't be there because I had been doing something for a while that require me to concentrate. This is where the Mindfulness meditation could help and there are plenty of resources for that if you have a look around for it. Try and retrain yourself to relax to get some peace so you can see that it's not all bad.

Yes, I think many of us would do all sorts of things if we got rid of it but thats out of desperation and we know it's not who we are thus we don't do it.

I can remember being at the worst of it and saying to someone "if you told me this would go away if I killed X amount of people, I would go to jail happy!". How mads that? I knew I couldn't do it, it would be abhorent to me, my upbringing & my beliefs. I hope thats not too graphic for on here? It just popped in there after endless hours of what felt like torture.

So, if you know it's wrong, you don't want to do it and only entertain it out of deperation, thats a very different thing to people who do things like that. I've known some violent people over the years, I'm from a typical area of the UK's working class, and if they want to do it - they do it and it's justified to them. No anxiety involved.

I can remember having strange urges. One example was when I was walking. I pass over a nice bridge and on several occasions I definately had urges to jump. I would never do that, it would upset my family. I wasn't even that anxious at the time, it just popped into my head. I even remember feeling amused by it for some reason and later that worried me. It happened a few times and never since. Weird eh?

Take Care.


T

[yenool]

okay so im 17. i have anxiety..over everything basically and about a week or so ago ive been having intrusive thoughts. bad, horrible thoughts like violent and sexual perverted thoughts and theyre making me go crazy.

i would never do such a thing but why am i thinking them? im scared and they give me so much anxiety and i have panic attacks and cant stop crying because im afraid of going crazy. am i going to be like a psycho killer one day? i dont want to be.

sometimes i feel the urge to act out on these thoughts just so the thoughts would just leave me alone. im not going to and i dont want to.

You are not going crazy. Intrusive thoughts of violent, sexual and downright weird nature are all very common for people with certain types of anxiety.

I don't think anyone really knows why the thoughts appear but LOTS of people have them. Also people DO NOT act on these thoughts. It is important to recognise they are just thoughts.

I have found over the years that the more 'why' and 'what if' questions you ask yourself the more you will feed the anxiety and you will end up in a never ending circle because those questions can never be answered. (which is of course what triggers and feeds the anxiety).

What if you have intrusive thoughts about your BF in the future? - Well nothing. You will have intrusive thoughts that are meaningless and you will continue on with life. What if you have intrusive, violent or sexual thoughts about your children in the future? - Well again, nothing. Thoughts mean nothing.

You will not 'lose control' and act on any thoughts because "you don't want to". It is as simple as that.

I've had intrusive thoughts for years since I was younger than you are now. I've come to realise that they just appear for no real reason and they are meaningless. I haven't raped or murdered anybody yet and I don't intend to so really the thoughts are just a pathetic attempt from my mind to try and bully me and make me anxious...... sometimes it works but mainly I have just come to accept the thoughts are there and not waste any time with them.