cb87
09-03-14, 01:56
Hey.
I have joined this site because i need some support. For 4 or 5 months now i have been experiencing panic attacks in certain situations with the main symptom being that i will wet myself (as well as increased heart rate an sweating). I feel like the muscles in my penis are relaxing and pulsing and it shrivels up. At this point is am sure my body will release and fluid in my bladder. I am a 27 year old guy. It is very distressing. It happens even on an empty bladder.
The good news is i have challenged it in several places/situations where it had previously happened and now it is completely gone in those areas, as well as other areas where i didn't even challenge it. It just went away in those places too. But it hasn't gone away completely.
I am at my worst in university classroom and especially if i have to stand up and speak in front of the class. I don't think it is directly related to this though because i don't have a fear of public speaking - i have been doing it for several year with great confidence - although my fear of wetting is strongest now at that time due to all my peers watching me. I sometimes have to wear adult incontinence pants (nappies) for mental well-being at these times to get through my public speaking. When i wear these, it doesn't happen at all. No sensations, nothing. It also doesn't happen when i am drunk or really enjoying myself. Or when i am in my room, or any "safe place" like my families house.
There are two places where i think it may have come from. First, i have suffered from general anxiety and have been very low (maybe mild depression) for a few years due to an addiction. During these years i would need to go to the bathroom frequently when feeling anxious. However, now my general anxiety and mild depression have completely gone away since challenging my addiction and made great progress to beat it.
The second place where i feel this panic disorder may have come from is a particular situation i had. I almost wet myself on an underground metro. I had a really full bladder and really almost wet myself. It was nothing to do with anxiety or my mind. I was in a real panic. It was traumatic actually. I had to run to make the toilet. But after that (a few weeks later) i began to feel sensations of panic when in certain locations/situations and the sensation in my private are would start like i described before.
I cannot see a proper doctor since i no longer live in the UK. I live in a developing country and the doctors just give me Valium.
I am trying to fight this with exercise, healthy eating, cutting out alcohol, and practicing Vipassana meditation. And of course trying to observe the sensations when they come instead of reacting to them with fear. This is what i did in several of the locations/situations and the problem literally disappeared, but i don't have the confidence to do this when i am public speaking at uni - the thought of wetting myself in front of people who know me is just way too much - i have to wear incontinence pants for confidence.
I just want to share my problem as i think talking to people will help me. I would like any advice from people too. I am especially interested to hear of you think it is possible for this panic disorder to have come from that one particular incident on the underground sub-way where i experienced serious panic and mental trauma from almost genuinely wetting myself or if you think it is just a mutation of my general anxiety which plagued me for years, but now completely gone.
Thank you for reading.
I have joined this site because i need some support. For 4 or 5 months now i have been experiencing panic attacks in certain situations with the main symptom being that i will wet myself (as well as increased heart rate an sweating). I feel like the muscles in my penis are relaxing and pulsing and it shrivels up. At this point is am sure my body will release and fluid in my bladder. I am a 27 year old guy. It is very distressing. It happens even on an empty bladder.
The good news is i have challenged it in several places/situations where it had previously happened and now it is completely gone in those areas, as well as other areas where i didn't even challenge it. It just went away in those places too. But it hasn't gone away completely.
I am at my worst in university classroom and especially if i have to stand up and speak in front of the class. I don't think it is directly related to this though because i don't have a fear of public speaking - i have been doing it for several year with great confidence - although my fear of wetting is strongest now at that time due to all my peers watching me. I sometimes have to wear adult incontinence pants (nappies) for mental well-being at these times to get through my public speaking. When i wear these, it doesn't happen at all. No sensations, nothing. It also doesn't happen when i am drunk or really enjoying myself. Or when i am in my room, or any "safe place" like my families house.
There are two places where i think it may have come from. First, i have suffered from general anxiety and have been very low (maybe mild depression) for a few years due to an addiction. During these years i would need to go to the bathroom frequently when feeling anxious. However, now my general anxiety and mild depression have completely gone away since challenging my addiction and made great progress to beat it.
The second place where i feel this panic disorder may have come from is a particular situation i had. I almost wet myself on an underground metro. I had a really full bladder and really almost wet myself. It was nothing to do with anxiety or my mind. I was in a real panic. It was traumatic actually. I had to run to make the toilet. But after that (a few weeks later) i began to feel sensations of panic when in certain locations/situations and the sensation in my private are would start like i described before.
I cannot see a proper doctor since i no longer live in the UK. I live in a developing country and the doctors just give me Valium.
I am trying to fight this with exercise, healthy eating, cutting out alcohol, and practicing Vipassana meditation. And of course trying to observe the sensations when they come instead of reacting to them with fear. This is what i did in several of the locations/situations and the problem literally disappeared, but i don't have the confidence to do this when i am public speaking at uni - the thought of wetting myself in front of people who know me is just way too much - i have to wear incontinence pants for confidence.
I just want to share my problem as i think talking to people will help me. I would like any advice from people too. I am especially interested to hear of you think it is possible for this panic disorder to have come from that one particular incident on the underground sub-way where i experienced serious panic and mental trauma from almost genuinely wetting myself or if you think it is just a mutation of my general anxiety which plagued me for years, but now completely gone.
Thank you for reading.