NoMoreFear
09-03-14, 17:00
Hi all :-)
Just joined today so thought I would introduce myself. I'm "K", I'm 26 and live in a town in Cumbria called Whitehaven.
I have not been to my doctor out of fear and lack of sympathy but I have been certain for a while now that I suffer from some sort of social anxiety.
All my life I struggled to make friends and keep them - was always a bit of an outcast and didn't really fit in with most people at school. My problems really started when I was 18 when the one true friend who I thought would be there forever slept with my boyfriend behind my back. It completely destroyed me knowing that she wasn't sorry and never to this day offered any sort of apology for what happened. I got rid of the boy straight away - he wasn't the issue I just felt really ill that she could of done something so horrible and I have huge trust issues in friends in particular due to that incident...
Since then friends have come and gone but are never really there longer than a few months - usually people just want something from me and leave as soon as I have nothing left to give them. I have experimented with mild drugs over the last few years as they gave me a new found confidence and people liked me more than if I was not under the influence. I have been clean of all drugs for around two years as being a good mother to my daughter means more to me.
In some senses I have a great life - I have my own house, a decent paid job and I own and drive my own car. However since I stopped taking these mild drugs my social life completely dried up. I have no idea how to talk to people anymore... Some mornings I struggle getting up for work as the idea of being around other people terrifies me... The feelings I have also hold me back from trying to further my career... I won't even go and eat in the canteen as I hate the thought of others looking at me... I often just go along to my car.
I met my boyfriend a year and a half ago through Facebook and him and my little girl are everything to me. I do consider him my best friend, we rarely argue and I can really be myself around him. Other than him I literally have no friends. Until a year and a half ago I had one friend who had been there on and off for over 10 years suddenly drop me and the reasons are still unclear to me.
I do consider myself a nice person - I will go out of my way to do things to help people but I think this is how others take advantage. I'm not perfectly pretty just an average girl. There have been times where I have been suicidal the first time I can remember was when I was 12. I still have these thoughts but my daughter pushes me to go on.
Would love to talk to similar people around my area xx
Just joined today so thought I would introduce myself. I'm "K", I'm 26 and live in a town in Cumbria called Whitehaven.
I have not been to my doctor out of fear and lack of sympathy but I have been certain for a while now that I suffer from some sort of social anxiety.
All my life I struggled to make friends and keep them - was always a bit of an outcast and didn't really fit in with most people at school. My problems really started when I was 18 when the one true friend who I thought would be there forever slept with my boyfriend behind my back. It completely destroyed me knowing that she wasn't sorry and never to this day offered any sort of apology for what happened. I got rid of the boy straight away - he wasn't the issue I just felt really ill that she could of done something so horrible and I have huge trust issues in friends in particular due to that incident...
Since then friends have come and gone but are never really there longer than a few months - usually people just want something from me and leave as soon as I have nothing left to give them. I have experimented with mild drugs over the last few years as they gave me a new found confidence and people liked me more than if I was not under the influence. I have been clean of all drugs for around two years as being a good mother to my daughter means more to me.
In some senses I have a great life - I have my own house, a decent paid job and I own and drive my own car. However since I stopped taking these mild drugs my social life completely dried up. I have no idea how to talk to people anymore... Some mornings I struggle getting up for work as the idea of being around other people terrifies me... The feelings I have also hold me back from trying to further my career... I won't even go and eat in the canteen as I hate the thought of others looking at me... I often just go along to my car.
I met my boyfriend a year and a half ago through Facebook and him and my little girl are everything to me. I do consider him my best friend, we rarely argue and I can really be myself around him. Other than him I literally have no friends. Until a year and a half ago I had one friend who had been there on and off for over 10 years suddenly drop me and the reasons are still unclear to me.
I do consider myself a nice person - I will go out of my way to do things to help people but I think this is how others take advantage. I'm not perfectly pretty just an average girl. There have been times where I have been suicidal the first time I can remember was when I was 12. I still have these thoughts but my daughter pushes me to go on.
Would love to talk to similar people around my area xx