Petrified of Tomorrow....

[Kate408]

Hi everyone,
Firstly, thanks for reading this!
After years of not being able to be alone for fear of panicking (not even for a few minutes while my husband nipped to the loo), I recently walked the 15 minute journey from the shops (where my mum had left me - I told her to) to my mum's house. Yay me! Only problem was that I didn't panic, so I still fear it :-(
Normally while my husband is at work, he drops me to a friend or relative's house to spend the day while he is not with me.
Tomorrow however, I have not been able to arrange with anyone. He will be out for 10 hours and I'm absolutely petrified!
I don't know what I'm asking you for, but I think I'm looking for some comfort, strength and confidence?
Thanks
Kate

[MRS STRESS ED]

Hello and welcome Kate ,firstly I would like to say you have done brilliant walking home on your own omg what a big step ,and so what you panicked abit your still here and remember it cant hurt you ,if your worried about being on your own you need to keep yourself busy ,read go online anything just keep busy good luck xx

[Alan Mack]

Hi Kate well done for getting out on your own:yahoo:I know all to well how terrifying it can be, as for tomorrow like MRS STRESS ED said find something to keep yourself busy anything to keep your mind focused and before you know it the ten hours will have flown by,

:bighug1:

[Kate408]

Thanks both of you.
I will have our toddler with us, and i said to her earlier that we'll be here tomorrow and we talked about making a cake for when Daddy gets home :-)
And if I can get out, there are toddler groups to go to, or we can just pay out the front.
Otherwise I'm thinking baking, craft activities, reading books to her, doing educational stuff with her, singing songs...
I'm just so so frightened :-(
But..... Panic is not harmful....
And tomorrow could be the start of the rest of our lives!!
Thinking of the bigger picture....or trying at least!

[Nova84]

Hi Kate, let's think of it like this...tomorrow goes brilliantly and you cope fine for ten hours on your own...how AMAZING would that be and feel? Focus on that and keep yourself busy :)

[Kate408]

Thanks. I will feel amazing WHEN I do it. (I nearly said "if")
The disappointment of not doing things is so awful (before I managed my walk from the shops, I had a couple of attempts when I chickened out), & it will fell so good to be free!!

[Tanner40]

You have a great attitude to start tomorrow with, Kate. Why not try posting on NMP occasionally and share your small victories. That will help give you strength and encouragement. Looking forward to hearing from you.

[beauty]

I can totally relate to this as I'm also terrified of being alone.

It sounds like you already have a positive mindset for tomorrow. If you need to keep reminding yourself of the fact that it will make you stronger and that panic cannot harm you...it is simply fear. And keep I'm your mind how proud and happy you will feel when you have done it :) Also try to actually enjoy the independence and view it in a positive light.

I really hope it goes well xxx

[Kate408]

I've been up since half 4 getting myself in a state. My husband has said he will leave later today so that our lodger leaves for work before him, so I've got until half 8. I'm already exhausted & I've lost 4lb since yesterday as I couldn't face food yesterday and my stomach is in knots so stuff isn't staying in me very long.
I really want to do it, but I'm so terrified of the panic.

[Sunflower2]

I'm nervous about being by myself today too, but I've got to drive an hour to university and back. So how about I make a deal with you - I'll get myself out the house alone and you can manage by yourself today. We can totally do this!! So what if panic comes over us, it can't hurt you!

[Kate408]

I'll try. Good luck with the drive.

[Sunflower2]

Don't give up! :)

[Kate408]

I really don't know if I can do it

---------- Post added at 09:00 ---------- Previous post was at 08:29 ----------

My husband was supposed to have left Half an hour ago, but I have just been sobbing since then. He has now changed out of his work clothes. :-(

---------- Post added at 09:23 ---------- Previous post was at 09:00 ----------

All is not lost just yet. We're going to have a cuppa and then go and look at hiring a car. I've called the hire company and they have got a car available, so fingers crossed that will help :-)

[Sunflower2]

How did you get on? I drove in and back from uni, felt a little uncomfortable at times and was probably driving a bit slowly but I made it without too much panic! :)

[Kate408]

Yay! Well done you!
After we got a hire car (for me), my husband went to work at 11.50am. I had a friend round for a play date 4pm - 5pm, but other than that I was on my own until my husband got back just after 6pm! :-)
I...am....so....chuffed!
I am going to try going out later for milk to practice driving on my own so that tomorrow I can go to a toddler group.
And I told our neighbours who we bumped into and they brought round a bottle of wine for us as a celebration.
Fingers crossed tomorrow goes OK! :-)

[Sunflower2]

Thanks great!! Keep going!

[Kate408]

Hi Kimberley, How are you getting on driving to uni? I have been thinking of you (& everyone on here) when I've been having wobbles, and the courage that so many people show on a daily basis has really helped me keep going!
Tomorrow will be my sixth day at home alone (other days in between have just been because I do volunteering...I haven't been avoiding!).
It is tiring, but each day is a massive achievement! :-)
Well done everyone. Let's keep at it!
Kate