View Full Version : How I "caught" HA
Hello, I've never posted before but I have lurked and I'd like to join in now. I have had anxiety since I was a child including panic disorder. It wasn't until a few months ago that I started having feelings of HA. My dad passed away unexpectedly and a close friend passed after a long illness. Since then my anxiety has flared in general but I'm experiencing what I think is HA now also. I consistently have stomach problems that I catastrophize. I am light leaded and feel funny and weak, but instead of reassuring myself that it's due to all the stress I'm under, I'm convinced I am sick and will leave my children motherless. I am on cipralex, and have tried therapy before with little success. I've had blood tests and abdo ultrasounds that are clear but I convince myself they are missing something. I feel edgy and hate being around people now which is very hard (even my spouse and kids!) I don't know what I'm trying to accomplish by posting this but I wanted to get it off my chest-it's not something I talk about a lot!
I have this fear too. I don't fear dying I fear leaving my babies. We are mothers I think having kids changes us. Life isn't about us anymore it's about them. It's a lot of weight on our shoulders. I'm a single mom it's even harder. :hugs:
TooMuchToLiveFor
10-03-14, 00:59
Oh, ladies, I completely understand those feelings too. I don't struggle with HA, and I don't think about this all that often, but I remember the first time I went on a trip after having my son…..I wasn't worried about him staying at the grandparents and something happening to him….I was worried about something happening to me and not coming home to him. Also, when I had my breakdown, one of the first things the doctors thought we might be looking at was a tumor on my adrenal glands….of course, that spiraled me into utter panic and all I could think was my three month old would never know her mother.
Motherhood is the greatest blessing…., but the emotions we feel are so huge that not only can we feel love as we never have before….., but also fear. The thing that gives me solace in this department is that my babies are God's children-- and He will take care of them no matter what. :hugs:
I know you said therapy didn't work too well for you, but have you had a really good CBT therapist? It helps many people immensely in their thought processes.
And, Rose, I didn't realize you are a single mom-- the strength you must possess is inspiring. Your children are very lucky to have you!
Thanks for your replies ladies! I understand being a single mom- I was for 14 years but I married my wonderful husband and have a toddler now. I'm sure the lack of sleep doesn't help my anxiety!
To answer your question I've been to 3 different therapists. One was questionable, one I didn't feel I had good rapport with, and one just had me do a lot of paperwork! So I guess the answer might be I haven't had a really good one? I've read that there is a good cbt program accessible through this site, anyone have input on that ?
TooMuchToLiveFor
10-03-14, 01:17
I have heard very good things about it! Let me see if I can find you the link…...
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http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=131664
Thank you TooMuch my husband has been in jail for the last year and a half. Apparently he was leading a double life. It's very difficult to deal with it all which of course adds to my anxiety.
Rose that is a lot to deal with, I'm sorry
Toomuch thank you for the link :) I am going to check it out...maybe I can replace the time I spend online googling symptoms!
TooMuchToLiveFor
10-03-14, 01:52
Oh, gosh, Rose, I'm sorry to hear that. :hugs:
---------- Post added at 20:52 ---------- Previous post was at 20:50 ----------
Rose that is a lot to deal with, I'm sorry
Toomuch thank you for the link :) I am going to check it out...maybe I can replace the time I spend online googling symptoms!
lol---I think that sounds like an excellent trade!
Ladies, how old are your kiddos? I have 4 1/2 year old son and 7 month old daughter. :)
Awwww I have one of each too. My daughter is 3 1/2 and my son is 20 months
TooMuchToLiveFor
10-03-14, 02:02
Whew! You are a busy mama!
We have always dreamed of having several more, but my pregnancy/delivery history and now the panic disorder has us very concerned……so blessed to have the two we have though!
Yeah I think 2 is a perfect amount personally
TooMuchToLiveFor
10-03-14, 02:19
LOL- My mother-in-law always says that is why God gave us two arms…..to have one child in each.
I also have one of each! 20 (years old!!) girl and one year old boy. My anxiety is 22 years old :D
TooMuchToLiveFor
10-03-14, 02:53
I also have one of each! 20 (years old!!) girl and one year old boy. My anxiety is 22 years old :D
LOL! It is the truth- anxiety might stay lurking in the background for awhile, but parenthood brings it right out in the open!
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