Another bad night

[mummyanxious]

Well title says it all last night sucked.
I was woken after a dream feeling sick and pulse racing (fast but no more than 120), chest pain, pain even going into my arm, hot all over and an intense feeling of heat into arms and chest.
Absolutely terrified. I was actually on the verge of calling 111 for advice as I felt the arm pain signalled the end.
Distracted myself with looking at random stuff on my smart phone and eventually about half an hour later it stopped. And I then felt very tired and went back to sleep apprehensively till now.
After it happened just before I went back to sleep I resolved that today I will go out for a walk and get out the house but obv I feel wrung out today with exhaustion.
Has anyone had a panic like this or should I yet again be bothering the gp?
My stomach is churning over and over again today, nausea still there.

[Primula]

Yes I've had panics like that.

I would go to your doctor, not because I think you have heart problems, but because you have anxiety and panic problems.

Have you thought about a course of antidepressants? I know not everyone agrees with taking them, but they do enable you to rise above your problems and see them from a different perspective. Last week when I was in a really bad state, my doctor also prescribed some diazepam, only to be taken when I could feel the panic becoming very strong. I'm starting to come out of that dark place, slowly but surely, by using acceptance and mindfulness. Some days are good and some days are bad, but the bad ones are improving too.

You are under huge stress, with your ex and trying to look after kids on your own, it's no wonder you are feeling rubbish, but your mind can do all this to you.

Most of the people I've ever known with heart problems, don't feel weak and trembly all the time, because they don't suffer with panic and anxiety as well.

Be good to yourself and see your Doctor, explain all the symptoms you have, but also tell them you are frightened and finding it difficult to cope at the moment. Try to see the doctor you feel has the most empathy, and can give you good reasons as to why you are feeling like this, and then trust what they tell you.

No googling or reading health section of newspapers.

You can get through this, with help.

[claireypoo]

Hi Mummy. My arms are always affected in a panic attack too. Intense heat like burning and sometimes a prickling sensation down my arms and my pulse racing with dizziness and nausea. Not very pleasant! x

How did you find the Claire Weekes book you are reading? The language is a bit old fashioned, isn't it? That said, I found it brilliant for explaining and describing these sort of symptoms. X

[mummyanxious]

Yes thank you both for your replies I am grateful. Managed to book an app with a trusted gp for Wednesday. We usually have to wait about a month to see specific GPS so he must have had a cancellation. Just wondering whether I should go sooner.
The book I've read before and am just a few pages in at the moment as I have been falling asleep reading it lol. I really like the explanations. I sometimes just read through those and nothing else but I'm doing the whole book.
Feel really shakey today.
My arms well it was both but predominantly the left arm. Heat from my sides going up under my armpit and like a band round my left arm like where you have a blood pressure cuff but just higher. It's what freaked me out the most. Came in waves.

[cut_out_stars]

I got this a lot when my anxiety was at its highest, I would wake up at 3 every morning with my heart pounding. In fact I had a rubbish night last night too. I think it's very common when you're very stressed and anxious and I agree with everything Primula has said above about help.

I hope you feel better soon and have a good day :)

[mummyanxious]

Oh and in the past I've not tolerated antidepressants so I'm very reluctant to try. They've made my anxiety sky high. I know this is usually temporary but it would mean I wouldn't be able to function at all. And I can't afford that with kids and a job.
I've had diazepam in the past but they are reluctant to prescribe due to it being addictive.

[cut_out_stars]

Also I found my general mental health and panic attacks have eased from upping my exercise a little, hard when you have a busy life I know!!

[mummyanxious]

Oh I know COS I think this will help which is why I'm determined to go out in the sunshine today.

[cut_out_stars]

I'm determined too! Let's go have nice walks in this lovely sunshine :)

[mummyanxious]

:D

[Fishmanpa]

MummyA,

A lot of people have asked what you're doing for your anxiety. You have the Claire Weeks book, you said you've ordered a relaxation/meditation CD which are steps in the right direction. Glad to see you have an appointment booked as well to discuss your anxiety issues with your doctor.

I believe I suggested this in one of your previous threads. There a free CBT course here that many, including myself have used beneficially.

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=131665

It's apparent you're in distress and have been for some time :( May I suggest you read the book during the day so you don't fall asleep ;) Download the free course and read a bit if you can. It really is quite good and explains what's happening to your body and deeper in, it has wonderful exercises and workbooks. Understanding what's going on physically helps cope with what's going on mentally.

Good luck and positive thoughts

[mummyanxious]

FMP I've registered on the site, just need to download the stuff. I'm finding it hard deciding which approach to start with though. The mindfulness or the cbt.

Been out for a walk today. I survived just. Legs started cramping up on my thighs. Then my chest started hurting in the middle again and I'm gasping for breath. I'm sure I have angina. Not sure I can wait till Wednesday to see the gp.

[Primula]

You don't need to be worried about getting addicted, the doctor will only prescribe 2mg, and only a weeks supply.

Mine told me to take them if I felt a panic building, and not to take them just because I like the feeling.

I've found that I've taken 1 or 2 every day this week, and they have given me breathing space to rationalise my feelings and symptoms.

I've started back to work after a week off, and because I've been occupied, I've barely thought of my health symptoms. Just shows me that I have selective attention.

[mummyanxious]

Have you had any tiredness with them?
I'm worried about them making me woozy as I'm supposed to be at work this week and can't take any time off sick.
I've been relatively calm this afternoon, sitting out in the sun, but I keep getting pains in my top teeth and roof of my mouth briefly. Now I've got stabbing pains under my ribs :(

[Primula]

No they don't make me woozy. I took one when i got in to work this morning, and in honesty I didn't notice anything. I haven't needed another all day. I also saw my doctor this morning, and she is happy for me to take them like this. She explained they are just to break the cycle of worry, not to take at regular times every day or forever, as then you would develop tolerance and need higher doses.

I find they just give me a break to gather my rational thoughts. The Claire Weekes book suggests mild sedation. I know this is an old book, but I think what she says is still relevant.

It's not like the 60's and 70's when the docs were doling out valium in large doses, to anyone. This is a far more controlled way of taking them.

If you are worried about wooziness, try them on a day when you don't have to work first. I'm not saying they never make me sleepy, but never so much that I can't concentrate on my work. Your mind needs a rest sometimes.

[mummyanxious]

Thank you so much for your input. The dr I'm seeing is the one who prescribed them for me before so may well suggest it again, I am not sure I really want them but I'll see what he suggests.

I just cannot stop thinking about last night. I've never had arm pain with a panic attack at all. It was like a heat going into my arm. I've been having odd twinges in my chest all day. I'm sure I won't relax till I've had this ECG done. Might have to chase up see if they've had a cancellation tomorrow.

[Primula]

I had left arm pain last week, with a panic attack, but because my heart is not one of my phobias, I didn't care about it, and it's gone now, so I figure it must have been to do with the panic.

If you can manage without the Diazepam that's great, but if you find you do need to take it, then don't beat yourself up about it, by thinking that your weak to have to go down that road. If other people truly knew what we go through with our anxiety they would be shocked, and perhaps realise that we are actually very brave. We somehow, still manage to carry on despite the terror we sometimes feel.

In Claire Weekes words "onwards little ship".

(Sorry I must sound slightly obsessed by her, but that book explains everything there is to know about panic/anxiety and how to tame it.)

[mummyanxious]

Ah thank you so much, and yes I love it too and am about to sit down with it a little earlier tonight. I can't read it during the day as I have one of the children with me so can't properly focus.

[Primula]

My pleasure, just keep riding those waves.

[mummyanxious]

Well I had a better night last night apart from waking up at one point sweaty. This may be period related so I'm not going to worry too much about that atm.
But what is getting me worried is I still have pains and weakness in the front of my thighs and I keep thinking its a symptom of heart failure :( I honestly thought my legs were going to give way earlier.

[Primula]

Glad you had a better night.

I'd be very surprised if this wasn't anxiety. When I'm very anxious, my legs and thighs feel very weak. It's the fight/flight response.

You see your doctor tomorrow don't you?

[mummyanxious]

Yes tomorrow. In the meantime I'm feeling very tired and weak and dreading going to work as I just can't stand it there either. I'm getting thinner by the day :(

[Primula]

You mention you are getting thinner, this is another thing that always happens to me when I'm going through the panics. I've lost 10lbs in the last month, just from eating poorly. Try to leave little bowls of things out to nibble on, like nuts, maybe chop up an apple, and the odd piece of toast seems to help. It doesn't really matter if you don't eat proper meals at the moment, when your feel better your appetite will return.

If you are not eating much, then this will also make you feel weak, tired, and achy, and cause all sorts of tummy sensations, and pains in the chest area.

Good luck at the doctors tomorrow. Make sure to tell him about your anxiety, don't forget to tell him how bad things have been. Let us know how it goes.

[mummyanxious]

Thanks again. Deep down I know what you're saying makes sense and I've just read this bit in my Claire weekes book. I'm eating my usual three meals as I'm forcing myself but I must be quickly burning it off.
Dr today thank goodness. I'm desperate for some answers. I hope he's his usual helpful self and not in a rushed bad mood which he has been a couple of times.
Last night I had a scary couple of episodes where I felt like I woke up gasping. Like my chest was empty? Like everything had stopped. Very frightening.

---------- Post added at 06:15 ---------- Previous post was at 06:14 ----------

And I also woke up for a period of time around midnight with pains under my ribs where your bra sits and in my back.

[Primula]

Hi MA

How did it go with the doctor today?

[mummyanxious]

I told him everything that was going on and he suggested I needed to refer myself for counselling which I have done, and that he thinks I should start on some medication to get a break from the worry and clear my head. I've joined the sertraline group on here. Going to start tomorrow and am really anxious about it as I had sky high anxiety taking citalopram in the past so really worried about these.

Today I started my period (tmi) so I know a lot of what I have been feeling has been magnified by that. I was actually feeling a lot better this afternoon but for some reason I feel anxious again now. Well actually i know why I feel anxious because I'm still worried about my leg aches. I didn't get to talk to him about that. The front of my thighs are still aching badly and cramping up and a little bit painful. And I am worried about muscle wastage in my legs. I have read the MS thread so I am clued up there. And I am trying to reason that perhaps it's just that the fat has disapeared and actually I;m not very active. But when your mind starts spiralling at night it;s dreadful isn't it. The heart is a muscle so that will be wasting too.... Oh it's dreadful all this worry.

I really appreciate you asking after me, it means a lot :)

[Primula]

Good I'm glad you told him everything. You do not have MS that is not how it presents. Muscle wastage happens when someone has lost use of a limb for a long time, or been bedridden even just for a few days. Your muscles are wobbling, due to reduced activity because of anxiety.

Hope the sertaline start to work soon for you, and keep reading the wonderful Claire Weekes.

Remember your anxiety won't disappear just because you ask it to. I find it's only when I look back after a few weeks, I can see how far I've come.

Now I just need to give myself the same advice, and act on it.

Your heart muscle won't be wasting, remember what Claire says, with all the anxiety we've gone through, we've shown that our hearts are actually very strong. A loudly beating heart is a strong one

[mummyanxious]

Wise words :)

Now just to get some strength back x