relapse after such a good period

[Kmccluskey]

back in dying mode and heart problem mode. I did have alcohol last night so it's self inflicted relapse. however the days before I've been noticin horrible chest pain and weird beats that are very disconcerting. what worried me the most was yesterday, I was running for a beat and my heart just felt tight and stuff. just horrible sudden pains and jolts scaring me and stuff. debating going to a and e today. so frustrated and scared about these horrible pains, I have moments were I think and feel like a heart attack is just about to strike. the body sensations just feel so real today. hate this. any advice guys ?

[TooMuchToLiveFor]

Hey- I'm in a bad way again too. We know what it is. We each have our own way it manifests.
Riding it out with you…...

[Kmccluskey]

thanks toomuch. sometimes it just gets so intense that you just feel like your actually dying. debating a and e today. it's a hard one because I'm trying to do all the things I enjoy like going on a night out and stuff,, but the next day the anxiety goes crazy and I start thinking I have a heart problem. what happened too much ?. did you have a full blown attack or is it fleeting anxiety?

[JulieJay92]

how are you now kmccluskey

[TooMuchToLiveFor]

thanks toomuch. sometimes it just gets so intense that you just feel like your actually dying. debating a and e today. it's a hard one because I'm trying to do all the things I enjoy like going on a night out and stuff,, but the next day the anxiety goes crazy and I start thinking I have a heart problem. what happened too much ?. did you have a full blown attack or is it fleeting anxiety?

To answer your question: full blown attacks. Since Friday morning. Mine don't go back to any specific fear (of which we can pinpoint), but my doctor and therapist think it can all go back to PTSD from several different traumas the last few years.

We will ride this out-- you were doing better, so you know you can get back there. I know that demon whispering in your ear though-- What if you won't this time? What if it will be one long life of "suffering" in this way and never knowing when it will come or end?

Well, I am choosing to believe my doctor and the veteran warriors that are farther down the road than I am……and they say WE CAN AND WILL GET BETTER. THIS WILL NOT LAST FOREVER. THE FLARE UPS GET FEWER AND FARTHER BETWEEN, AND THEY ALSO ARE NOT AS STRONG AND DON'T LAST AS LONG.

Right now in my weakness it is easy to fall into unbelief….but believing something isn't always just blind faith…..it is a CHOICE. And, I choose to believe for the best! You, too, Kmcclusky. Believe with me, and then do all that you know to do!