Pete_uk
10-03-14, 19:53
I've always tried to avoid noisy and angry people. they make me anxious and always have done. But last year someone moved in next door who has a big gob and likes everyone to know about it. Rubbed the whole street up the wrong way. But autumn came and things quietened down.
But now spring is here and yesterday, along with the daffodils and young bunnies so was the mouthy woman. Nothing nasty was said as far as I know but it was like a spark igniting petrol fumes. I suddenly started having bad intrusive thoughts. It also makes me look at myself and what I am. I don’t like it. I would love to get out of this situation but I can't. I only work part time but even if I was working full time I would hate the thought of living in a flat.
So this brings feelings of bad anxiety. This morning my stomach was on the turn and that's normally the first physical sign of trouble. When it first started last year I hardly ate for a week and ended up with stomach problems for nearly a month.
So I end up feeling upset and start to feel my wind pipe contract. I get upset thinking about what would happen to my mother who is the rock in my life. I get upset thinking about what would happen if we had a falling out with said neighbour. I get upset thinking what would happen to mum if I died or did something stupid. I think of the monkey pupped she got me for Christmas (she has a good sense of humour) and I well up. Just typing that last sentence brought tears to my eyes.
So I am dreading the nights getting longer. I'm just dreading spring and summer full stop.
I dread waking up tomorrow.
But now spring is here and yesterday, along with the daffodils and young bunnies so was the mouthy woman. Nothing nasty was said as far as I know but it was like a spark igniting petrol fumes. I suddenly started having bad intrusive thoughts. It also makes me look at myself and what I am. I don’t like it. I would love to get out of this situation but I can't. I only work part time but even if I was working full time I would hate the thought of living in a flat.
So this brings feelings of bad anxiety. This morning my stomach was on the turn and that's normally the first physical sign of trouble. When it first started last year I hardly ate for a week and ended up with stomach problems for nearly a month.
So I end up feeling upset and start to feel my wind pipe contract. I get upset thinking about what would happen to my mother who is the rock in my life. I get upset thinking about what would happen if we had a falling out with said neighbour. I get upset thinking what would happen to mum if I died or did something stupid. I think of the monkey pupped she got me for Christmas (she has a good sense of humour) and I well up. Just typing that last sentence brought tears to my eyes.
So I am dreading the nights getting longer. I'm just dreading spring and summer full stop.
I dread waking up tomorrow.