Cant stop worrying! Help!

[JenniiPenny]

This is my first time posting here and I really dont know where to start.
Since the first week in January this year I have felt so ill... (dizziness, Nausea, Shaking, couldnt stop going to the toilet.. I thought I had some kind of food poisening!) I went to the doctor who ran blood tests, urine and stool samples, all came back fine apart from thyroid was slightly low but 'normal' (re-test in a year).

September 2013 I suffered a Miscarriage and i began to think something was wrong with me. I had never had a smear before as I always kept putting it off. My periods were all over the place and sometimes I would bleed between periods. I had a swab taken because I had yellow discharge around cervix and it came back fine. I went for a pelvic ultrasound and transviginal and she said everything looked fine. I asked the doctor for a hormone blood test and it came back with high levels of testosterone so im being referred to a specialist to confirm polycystic ovary sundrome.. even though no cysts were discovered during the scan. But I have noticed my hair has slightly thinned at the front the past year.. and i get a few 'whiskers' like mens beard hair.. but only a couple.. also trouble with weight etc

Anyway I booked myself in for my first ever smear (age 30). It made me bleed, but not for long. Ive been waiting two weeks now for the results and im so worried about it coming back abnormal and Im so annoyed with myself for leaving it til I was 30! Im convinced Ive got some kind of cancer! If im not worrying about my cervix, im worrying about my moles! or a lump in my boob thats stayed the same with no change for 4 years.. I had an ultrasound 3 years ago and they said it looked like a fibroadenoma but didnt biopsy because I was pregnant at the time and hormones could interfere with results. I was meant to go back 4 months later but didnt. I never worried about it until this year!!

Its like im self checking all the time and worrying about everything! Ive got a doctors appointment on friday... He's gonna think im crazy. Ive seen doctor after doctor for lots of different symptoms. Ive been to A&E 4 times and had an ECG four times! Its getting rediculous. One time I went to A&E with fast heartrate and dizziness, they told me i had a urine infection even though I had none of the symptoms and my doctor had checked my urine a few weeks before with negative results! Ive never had a urine infection before so I began thinking they were making it up!

I refuse medication because of the side effects. Im seeing a therapist type person every week.. only seen her twice so far. Im starting to recognise its anxiety most of the time. And looking back to January.. that was when i was at my worst, I seem slightly better than I was... but it doesnt stop me worrying to death about these smear results. I hate uncertainty! Waiting for results is the worst. My hubby just tells me to put it out my mind but its easier said than done! Cant believe this is happening to me. I never understood generalised anxiety before... its such a horrible thing to go through. Im scared im gonna die and leave my kids without a mummy ! :weep::weep:

[HoneyLove]

Hi Jenni, welcome to the boards :)

I'm sorry to see you struggling so much with anxiety, although it looks like you've taken some positive steps about dealing with it.

When you say therapist type person what do you mean exactly? It's important that you get the right kind of help for your problems. Counselling will always help, but with anxiety Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is more targeted to deal with the way we tend to think irrationally. It would be worth looking into or asking your GP about.

Trying to get some exercise in a few times a week would also help, and it would help too with the PCOS/hormone imbalances. It doesn't have to be really tough, just anything that gets your heart rate up a bit, even swimming or a brisk walk for 20 mins a few days a week.

You'll also find it's important to incorporate some relaxation methods into your life. They really help with anxiety as they will soothe your nervous system and help you deal better with the stress hormones that are released when we're anxious. Meditation or mindfulness, or even something like a yoga class, are all good places to start :)

[3tikes]

I'm sorry to hear you are going through this but you're taking positive steps in the right direction.
Try not to panic about your smear, I have bled every time I've had one and each time I worry about the results. You mentioned about your thyroid, I wonder if it's worth having the test repeated, I say this because I had very similar symptoms to you but my results were on the high end of normal for being overactive, I was tested a month later and the results denoted I was definitely overactive but since then they have now gone back to normal, I'm being checked by the endocrinologist every 3 months.
Anxiety can suddenly rear it's ugly head, mine stated after an ectopic pregnancy 7 years ago and for the most part I'm fine but then every so often it comes suddenly and bites me in the backside!!
As Honeylove has said, some form of relaxation exercise is a good place to start.

[JenniiPenny]

Hiya.. I think she's a mental health worker. My doctor referred me because he thinks I have depression. Before suffering with anxiety, I wouldnt have said I was depressed at all. If I am depressed its very mild. I suffered with post natal depression 9 years ago and I was really depressed... i never wanted to do anything or go out anywhere, everything seemed to be such a chore. I was prescribed medication but never took it and got myself out of that state.. it took a few years but I got myself better and everything was great until January :-( The mental health worker or practitioner is helping me to deal with this anxiety.. she's given me modules to read and fill in and I have to keep a diary of every anxiety attack I have... what symptoms I feel etc. Ive been looking a listening to youtube videos about reducing anxiety and relaxation techniques and meditation. they seem to help somewhat. I am also stressed, which doesnt help! stress makes my anxiety worse. Its mainly worrying about health.