Worried my 4 yr old has aspergers

[sparkle_1979]

Hi

I'm not sure if I'm in the right place.

So, I have suffered pretty bad with health anxiety for the last few yrs

My new fixation is that my little girl has aspergers. When I finally thought I had kicked this anxiety thing I now am on e again worrying constantly. I feel sick, I can't sleep, goggle is once again my enemy :wacko:

I'm tired

Sorry I just don't have anyone to talk to

[inCOGnito]

why would you think that? It's very difficult to diagnose at a young age unless it's really really obvious.

[sparkle_1979]

Well it's a long story but her first nursery mentioned something, that was prob because I asked them to make sure she was helped in socialising as she's shy. Two days later they wanted to get people in ( 4 days before we had a shining report

She jumps when excited and when she's trying to talk quickly she sometimes flaps her little arms

When excited she goes on tip toes

She's not great at playing with children as she takes so long to warm up but she plays great with her 2 yr old sister and a couple of my friends children

She is very confident and chatty with family and her sister but anyone else she can be incredibly shy

My dr told me it's all in my head

[Fishmanpa]

She sounds like a normal kid to me....

Positive thoughts

[ankietyjoe]

Yep, sounds like lots of other kids to me, including mine.

[Annie0904]

This does not sound a lot different to most children of her age. Some children are a lot shyer than others out of their home environment. My youngest used to flop to the ground if anyone spoke to her. She is now 28 and a very confident woman, not shy at all!
Most children jump when excited and flap their arms.

[sparkle_1979]

Thanks so much everyone. I'm sure it's fine and it's just me and my bloody issues

There are a few other things but more things that make me think she doesn't

Just this flapping has had me worried a lot, I guess because it's one of the things I associate with autism. She does only do it when excited, usually though it's when she can't get what she wants to say out quick enough, though it seems to happen a lot lately

I hate this anxiety I really do and I never have anyone to talk to as all my friends don't know I have it

[Annie0904]

It is one of the many signs of autism but it is also a very normal thing for a child of her age to do. most young children do this if they are excited. All of mine did and none of them are autistic.

[sparkle_1979]

Thanks annie

At the moment I just wait for her pre school to call me in with concerns :blush:

[inCOGnito]

On the basis of your report your child does not have autism. I have some professional knowledge in the subject.

[Rennie1989]

The biggest sign that your daughter does not have autism is that she is talking and playing with other children and there is no sign of disruptive and violent behaviour. She sounds absolutely fine to me and nothing to worry about. Children do odd things, like flap their arms and run on tip toes, but nothing to point towards autism.

[sparkle_1979]

Thanks everyone. She is very shy around other children but seems ok when she warms up.. The only thing is this hand flapping but it is when she's talking to me ... My mum thinks I'm mad as does hubby they get annoyed when I mention it :/

She talks a lot with her hands I suppose like some people do ? X

[Round in circles]

Even if your child did have asperger's, it wouldn't be a bad thing. It's not a disease. I myself have asperger's. I should know.

[sparkle_1979]

I worry about getting bullied at school that's my main concern x

[Fishmanpa]

I worry about getting bullied at school that's my main concern x

Ok now... you're projecting and assuming over a baseless thought. She's a young child. Who knows how she or any of us for that matter, will be treated. Enjoy these years while you can and please try not to worry, they're gone much too fast.

Positive thoughts

[sparkle_1979]

I know its awful. I love this little go so much but rather than enjoy her I'm worrying for her constantly. It's anxiety I need to get a grip of it I know

[paula2876]

hi, I have a 15 yr old son who is on the lower range of the autistic spectrum and 3 younger children. I remember constantly comparing my youngest to his elder brother looking for signs that he may too have the same problems, thinking i could not possibly cope with 2 children with such a range of needs. But despite my youngest being incredibly shy, unable to sit and hold a conversation but rather be constantly moving on tiptoes whilst talking there is no diagnosis. I think when we look for signs there are many little things that could go into a diagnosis but it takes much more. Those of us with health anxieties know the smallest heart flutter we self diagnose with a full blown heart condition and i guess you are doing the same. Personally i would say enjoy your little one along with her little quirky behaviours, most places dont like to diagnose children until the age of 6 yrs. Im sure you will discover that your daughter is perfectly fine and if in the future there are any concerns you will learn to deal with them as and when needed. Good luck

[sparkle_1979]

Hi thanks so much everyone ... I go through moments when I'm sure she's fine and them her little quirks really get me thinking. She's quite intense I I think sometimes I find that hard.

It really was ok until nursery mentioned it, but I guess that was because I'd mentioned she was so shy, maybe they were covering their backs I don't know

My doctor said she's fine

It really is just this jumping when talking that has me worried, but she's excitable and doesn't seem to get out what she needs to say quick enough

She's very very shy but she will warm up once she's comfortable

She holds a good conversation ( 2 sided ) loves swimming with her swimming teacher, loves her sister and all the family, she joins in with us normally but is just a little intense. Apparently hubby was

My mum thinks she's fine

I hate anxiety I really do. I just want to stop worrying for her, it's not bad when I have family around but soon as my husband goes offshore I start worrying constantly

Today's a bad day for it...I'm doing my head in,mim actually starting to piss myself off with all this stressing

Sorry to rant I just don't really have anyone to talk to xx

[Glaws]

I started having panic attacks after worrying about my son constantly for 4 months. He started school and, a few weeks later developed facial tics, eye rolling, neck jerking..........
Of course, I was permanently monitoring him, worrying and googling- big mistake!!! I was convinced he had Tourette's and I worried for his future. Talk about catastrophising!!!! I didn't pay attention to the sensible websites that say tics are really common in young children and the vast majority resolve within 12 months. He is fine now, happy as larry and loving school. Meanwhile, I moved from GAD to panic attacks- all my own fault.
I know it's hard but please don't jump to conclusions. They all have their quirks and most quirks are completely normal. :bighug1:

[Humly]

Hi. When my son was 4 and at nursery, his teacher wanted to get a doctor in to observe him as she was concerned that he was not interacting with other children and not making eye contact with her. I worried myself sick over it and when the doc finally came she said there was absolutely nothing to be concerned about and she didnt know why they called her in the first place. He was just shy. All kids are different but I know that once you get something into your head its hard to let go. Take care.

[Rennie1989]

Can I say that I always talk with my hands, learnt it off my mum. In fact, I do it very over the top at times :P

[sparkle_1979]

Thanks everyone

It is reassuring to read your replies it really is

I guess maybe this is just part of my health anxiety. I just can't get it out of my head. It's one thing worrying about myself but worrying about my little girl is awful. The girls are the lights of my life and I just worry constantly for them

It doesn't help that I don't really talk to anyone about it, my friends would never believe I had this sort of anxiety, I do a good job of hiding it

I wish this anxiety would stop, it's kinda taking over and stopping me really enjoying my life. I do make the most of things, we keep busy and do fun things but there is always this anxiety and running to dr bloody google :(

Thanks everyone who's taken the time to reply, appreciate it x