struggling with intrusive thoughts? will these ever go away?

[gina1343]

okay so im 17. i have anxiety..over everything basically and about a week or so ago ive been having intrusive thoughts. bad, horrible thoughts like violent and sexual perverted thoughts and theyre making me go crazy. i would never do such a thing but why am i thinking them? im scared and they give me so much anxiety and i have panic attacks and cant stop crying because im afraid of going crazy. am i going to be like a psycho killer one day? i dont want to be. im a gentle person, really. im afraid these are never going to go away and it makes me sick where ill stay in bed and do nothing except for looking at my 4 walls. i dont eat because they make me feel guilty and i get an upset stomach. ive become kinda distant because i feel like im crazy and i dont want to be i just want them to go away and i want to be normal. please tell me im normal. will these ever go away??? im afraid of when i get older and have a bf... what if i have intrusive thoughts about him??! or my kids if i have kids? sometimes i feel like im not worthy of living because i feel such shame and guilt because of these thoughts. i cant see a knife or scissors or watch a violent tv show because i get thoughts of harming others, even my family. and i get sexual perverted thoughts too. what is wrong with me??

sometimes i feel the urge to act out on these thoughts just so the thoughts would just leave me alone. im not going to and i dont want to. but my mind makes me think thats how im gonna get rid of them. my mind is just tricking me. i need to remember im not crazy. these thoughts arent real. im having an anxiety attack and my heart is beating so fast and my chest hurts and im so hot. i just need to breathe.

i told my parents and they are concerned but they dont think im crazy which helps and they told me they get the thoughts sometime. they said they think i spend too much time in my room and i have nothing to occupy my mind, which is true. i dont do anything extra curricular and i am cyber schooled and take my classes in my bed. ive been trying to distract myself all day and nothings working. i keep thinking of thinking about the thoughts which is driving me crazy and i dont wanna be like this anymore. i cant help but think only 3 weeks ago i was fine and wasnt having any bad thoughts. im starting to think these are never going to go away and im going to be like this forever. please someone, anyone, give me some insight and help me? please dont think im crazy.

[Ikaeoph]

Hi there :) I've suffered from this for nearly a year now and it is a type of OCD called harm OCD it affects people who are sensitive and caring and people who have a really powerful guilt sense, every human has random thoughts but they hardly notice them. But when you are anxious your mind is too tired to see logic and you will freak out from a random thought like you described, everybody gets them and it doesn't mean they are bad people it means they are so nice that they are worried sub consciously if they became bad, when you are anxious it becomes a conscious worry and eventually an obsession which is where the OCD comes in, the urges you get are the same ones a lot of people get when they are high up on a hill or building and have a weird urge in their chest and legs to jump, it is just your body is so tense from the fear. They aren't urges they are just intense episodes of tension although it might feel like an urge it isn't. You aren't going crazy because you are on a anxiety help site asking for advice, crazy people do not know they are crazy and no you cannot be driven crazy by harm ocd or stress. You absolutely must do something every day to distract yourself from these thoughts because it's the only way to get rid of them, eventually you will be so distracted you will go for weeks and eventually months without getting them, you just need to distract yourself for 3 seconds and slowly try to go for longer by doing more consuming activities. You will be fine and good luck with your recovery :)

[Charlotteee89]

Obsessional thinking with intrusive thoughts is the worse. :mad:

I'm going through it right now & it is extremely debilitating at times.

Trying to not think about the thoughts actually causes the opposite - You end up thinking about them even more! You can then easily start having anticipatory anxiety - the fear of the fear. You are NOT going crazy! Intrusive thoughts are actually very common with anxiety.

CBT Online on here has a fantastic EBook all about Obsessional Thoughts, maybe give it a read? :)

Talk to your GP also, being referred to have CBT or Mindfulness may be extremely helpful for you.

Xx