Joseph Martin
12-03-14, 22:53
Hi guys,
I've posted on the forum before when I was going through difficult times. After a good couple of years of finding that things were going ok/I could cope, I'm once again feeling as if I'm back to square one.
When things were bad in the past, I had support from counselling. Even then, I did not go to my GP as I was generally too scared to do so! But things eventually began to go on an even keel...
Over the last couple of years, things seemed to be going well. Despite some hard times, I successfully completed a two year Business HND at college, and I am now in 3rd year of university. I also managed to get my first job, however lost employment after an accident. Last summer, I managed to get my first 'proper' job, paying a good wage. I felt good.
Since last summer, things have started to go downhill personally. After a period where panic and depression did not feature very highly, I feel as if I'm back to where I was a number of years back. Last year was pretty stressful, going through a house move which increased my commute substantially, as well as moving into 3rd year of university.
I felt I could cope in spite of these facts. For once I was earning good money, and also made it to university. The problems began a few months ago at work, whereby I began to notice that some colleagues where actually aggressive, and pretty unpleasant to work with. Having suffered from panic in the past, one particular encounter led me to begin to REALLY dread going into work, despite the fact that I only work weekends. I also felt unable to approach my manager to let them know, which probably didn't help. Everything came to a head two weeks ago, after another encounter with aggressive colleagues led me to panic all week about going back to work. This affected my uni work, I missed two deadlines and had to ask for extensions. I could not go into work, and ended up having to go to out of hours clinic due to a very bad panic attack. The GP did not give me anything, only a quick pep talk in which he recommended that I give up my job. He said that the commute, nature of job and working till 2am wk ends was causing me the panic and depression. I maintain that whilst travelling and working part nightshift is tiring, it is the aggressive colleagues attitudes towards me that are causing me to be like this.
To this end, my panic is still very very bad. It is putting a strain on home life and relationships with friends. My boss seemed sympathetic to an extent on the phone, and asked me to phone in today to update him. But I just couldn't do it. I would not have known what to say to him. I'm now at the point where I have put my name down with student counselling, but the earliest appt is 2 wks away. I need to go and see my GP about how panic and anxiety is affecting me, but I am really scared about this. I know I need the help badly, I would feel counselling would help again but I also cannot control the feelings of panic. At present I don't feel well enough to go to work this wk end, but my contract is due for renewal on the 5th April and at present, I really think I will lose my job if I am off again. I really hope that someone can offer me some words of wisdom, God Bless you all, Joe :weep:
I've posted on the forum before when I was going through difficult times. After a good couple of years of finding that things were going ok/I could cope, I'm once again feeling as if I'm back to square one.
When things were bad in the past, I had support from counselling. Even then, I did not go to my GP as I was generally too scared to do so! But things eventually began to go on an even keel...
Over the last couple of years, things seemed to be going well. Despite some hard times, I successfully completed a two year Business HND at college, and I am now in 3rd year of university. I also managed to get my first job, however lost employment after an accident. Last summer, I managed to get my first 'proper' job, paying a good wage. I felt good.
Since last summer, things have started to go downhill personally. After a period where panic and depression did not feature very highly, I feel as if I'm back to where I was a number of years back. Last year was pretty stressful, going through a house move which increased my commute substantially, as well as moving into 3rd year of university.
I felt I could cope in spite of these facts. For once I was earning good money, and also made it to university. The problems began a few months ago at work, whereby I began to notice that some colleagues where actually aggressive, and pretty unpleasant to work with. Having suffered from panic in the past, one particular encounter led me to begin to REALLY dread going into work, despite the fact that I only work weekends. I also felt unable to approach my manager to let them know, which probably didn't help. Everything came to a head two weeks ago, after another encounter with aggressive colleagues led me to panic all week about going back to work. This affected my uni work, I missed two deadlines and had to ask for extensions. I could not go into work, and ended up having to go to out of hours clinic due to a very bad panic attack. The GP did not give me anything, only a quick pep talk in which he recommended that I give up my job. He said that the commute, nature of job and working till 2am wk ends was causing me the panic and depression. I maintain that whilst travelling and working part nightshift is tiring, it is the aggressive colleagues attitudes towards me that are causing me to be like this.
To this end, my panic is still very very bad. It is putting a strain on home life and relationships with friends. My boss seemed sympathetic to an extent on the phone, and asked me to phone in today to update him. But I just couldn't do it. I would not have known what to say to him. I'm now at the point where I have put my name down with student counselling, but the earliest appt is 2 wks away. I need to go and see my GP about how panic and anxiety is affecting me, but I am really scared about this. I know I need the help badly, I would feel counselling would help again but I also cannot control the feelings of panic. At present I don't feel well enough to go to work this wk end, but my contract is due for renewal on the 5th April and at present, I really think I will lose my job if I am off again. I really hope that someone can offer me some words of wisdom, God Bless you all, Joe :weep: