I know people resent me

[MidnightCalm]

Everybody is getting sick of me, my agoraphobia has been really bad for 2 years now. I'm young and I can't do the normal thing my friends or partner is doing. I spend nearly all of my time inside. I feel pressured by the people around me to be doing more than I can do, and I'm always made to believe I'm a let down. I'm practically backed into a corner where I can't speak about my anxiety because everyone has grown tired of it, stopping us going places, stopping my relationships progressing. I feel forced into doing stuff I don't want to do to keep other people happy. Today for example, I didn't want to go out. I don't do well in cars. I don't go away from home. I don't go out of my comfort zone. I couldn't say any of this because if I do I'm "being negative" or it's "oh look at me I have anxiety feel sorry for me". I went out, couldn't make it (which I expected) and then I was made to feel like I let everybody down because we had to come home.
It's ridiculous. I've seen and heard my close friends saying to other people I'm "mind numbingly boring" because I CAN'T do the things they want me to do.
All the while I'm just being chipped at emotionally. I get worse everyday and they don't know they're doing it and whats more they wouldn't care if they did. I've told them so many times before. I'm backed into a corner now where I feel like it can only get worse. Everybody thinks I'm a nuisance, everybody sees me as never trying to get better when in reality I feel I've succeeded even if I just get out of bed and get myself looking presentable. I'm insecure about everything, the past few months have shown me what the people close to me are really like. I don't feel safe around them, yet I can't go anywhere. I can't say anything or I really do live to regret it. I have nobody I can talk to.
I don't want to do this any more. I don't want to be made out to be an attention seeker just for asking for a bit of help.

[Phuzella]

Have you spoken to your doctor about how you feel?

[HalfJack]

I was diagnosed with agoraphobia when I was a teen and the first few years were very similar.
I could go out after about 6 months, but I had to be within a foot of one of my friends or I started to violently shake and cry. Don't judge yourself with other people's standards, my friends/family made me feel really silly and boring, but they were wrong, it's not a personality trait it's an illness.

If you can, ignore what people expect of you and focus on yourself, what your limits are.
Although if you stay in your comfort zone all the time that's not doing you any good. I'd def recommend talking to a Dr to get help.
I was assigned a support worker for free through the nhs to help me slowly get out the house, it really helped and she understood what I was going through. It was only one hour a week and if I didn't want to do something she didn't force the issue.

[DEREKG]

Agoraphobia is a very hard thing to understand unless you experience it. I could have never fully understood it until it happened to me, that's for sure. Keep at it, Midnight and talk to your partner about it, if you can (and as was suggested, your GP)

[flossie]

I was in a similar position many years ago when my agoraphobia became a problem. I learned that the people I thought my friends were in fact mocking me behind my back. It hurt terribly but I realised that they weren't the type of friend I needed nor wanted. A friend accepts you, your needs and your problems. Someone who belittles and mocks is no friend. In fact forcing you to go out beyond your comfort zone is making your condition worse and harming you. If you had a broken leg I hope they wouldn't jump on it!
It is so very difficult to understand how an agoraphobia or anxiety sufferer feels and just as hard for us to find the words when asked. Regardless of that you are your own person. You are allowed to want different things to everyone else and be shown the respect you afford to others. That doesn't make you right or wrong, it doesn't make your friends right or wrong. It is just that you need different things to make you happy. Your friends have to accept that this anxiety is only a small part of who you are. Ask for their help and support in going out, just little journeys to start with. Those who show you respect and accept that you are having a difficult time are true friends. Appreciate them and let them help you. One day you will be able to return the favour. Those who continue to mock? I call that bullying. Bullies are ignorant fools who like to belittle to make themselves feel better about their own insecurities. Don't lose any sleep about being indifferent to them and their behaviour.

[Dying_Swan]

Hi MidnightCalm

I'm sorry to read what you're going through. Agoraphobia is such a difficult condition, and so hard to understand if you haven't been through it. I know I would have found it very difficult to understand without suffering it. I think a lot of great advice has already been offered above. Whilst it is hard for friends to understand, your friends do not sound particularly understanding at all. I was fortunate with my friends who were very supportive, but at times, they did get frustrated with me. As Flossie suggested, could you ask for their help in supporting you to start getting out? Small goals would be best, as large ones will only undermine your confidence. Perhaps that would make them feel they are doing something to help you, and that you are making an effort too (I'm sure you are already). Perhaps a short walk? If they are unwilling, then I would suggest they are not friends.

I also agree with HalfJack about staying in your comfort zone. It's very difficult to start challenging it, but so important. It does sound like you are trying to do this by going out in the car. Maybe this was too big a step? Have you explained to your friends that asking you to make big steps is not helpful? In my opinion, starting small and building up is key.

Also agree with others' advice to see your GP. Are you on any meds/therapy etc?

[MidnightCalm]

I really need help now.
I can't go to a dr as I am acutely agrophobic.
My partner has left and cancelled all benefits, we get just enough as a couple to pay the rent but now the housing benefit is saying I need to make a new claim as a single person and I need to go and provide information. I can't physcially get there I've been housebound for 4 years. I don't have anyone willing to help me out.
I am in a massive state of anxiety because I'm worried I will lose where I live and there is completely NOWHERE else for me to go.
Even trying to fill out online forms for housing benefit is baffling my head I can't get my head around anything I feel like I'm going out of my mind.
I emailed citizens advice and they emailed back saying sorry we can't help by email please come in... Did you not read I was housebound???
I have to pay £425 in 10 days for my rent and I don't have a penny towards it and everythings been cancelled and I can't go out to sort anything.
I don't know what to do I am terrified.

[Phuzella]

Ring the council and explain
and the DWP
What benefits were you getting?

[Dying_Swan]

Hi MidnightCalm

I'm so sorry to hear all you're going through, and it's no wonder you're feeling so anxious. I was wondering whether it might help if you rang MIND? Or a similar charity? I'm not sure but they may be able to help advise you?

[flossie]

It is important to contact your GP. Call the surgery and ask if you can talk to your GP over the phone. Many surgeries now offer this way of contact as it saves a home visit.