Changing tablets!! feeling scared :-( [Archive]

kim22

13-03-14, 21:47

Hi all

Ive been on citalopram 40mg for nearly 2 years now, i did have improvements at first but its been at a stand still for a good while now

Been the docs today and hes decided maybe a change in tablets, so hes lowering my does of citalopram to 20mg every day for the next 7 days and then giving me something new, i have no idea what :ohmy:!!

Im very nervous about the whole thing but if its going to make me better then ill give it ago!! I suffer bad from panic attacks and major anxiety :-(!!

Anybody eles been in this situation and how did it go for you! Please get in touch

Thank you Kim xx

Dying_Swan

18-03-14, 09:39

Hi Kim

How are you doing? Have you found out what the doc is prescribing you instead of Citalopram? I'm about to switch from Citalopram to Venlafaxine. I have to halve my dose down to 10mg for 2 days and then nothing for 2 days and then start the Ven. I'm pretty scared about it. Would love to hear how you are doing and how you've been with tapering down.

dudka

18-03-14, 10:35

Hi:)
I've been on venlafaxine for quite a long time but at some point it stopped working. I went on a higher dose but it made me even worse. My GP decided to put me on Citalopram 10 mg and that means that last week I dropped down to the lowest dose of venlafaxine 37.5 mg and today I took first citalopram pill. Last week wasn't so horrible as I expected - I was feeling the same as for the last three months on wrong tablets or doses- still horrible but not worse. I haven't died, I didn't have a heart attack, I haven't landed in mental hospital so these are good news:) I'm scared of Citalopram as I read many horror stories about it but at the moment I' ve got nothing to lose. I know I have to do something with my meds so I just took the first pill and I will see what happens next. I hope everything will be ok for you and for me. I'm scared as hell but that's nothing new for me:):weep:

Dying_Swan

18-03-14, 11:29

Hi Dudka

It looks like you and I are doing opposite switches of medication! It is really scary changing from something you've been on for a while. I've been on Citalopram for nearly 9 years! Today is my first day of cutting it in half and taking 10mg. I am terrified. Already feel really anxious but I'm sure that must be my mind and nothing to do with the medication at this point.

It's a long time ago that I started Citalopram but from what I remember, it wasn't too bad at all. I'd been on Fluoxetine and did a straight swap. Everyone is different in terms of side effects of course, but for me I had difficulty sleeping and eating, although that was much worse on Fluoxetine.

Anyway, good luck with it :) Will be interested to hear how you get on.

dudka

18-03-14, 15:08

Dying Swan,
I exactly know what you mean- I'm so anxious right now that I don't even know if that's the first pill of Citalopram or it's just my mind:) I don't know how I'll survive next two weeks to see if Citalopram is doing anything good for me. so scared- horrible. I can stand any side effects but I just hate being depersonalized and derealized- and that feelings been for so long with me now that I can't really say when the real reality starts and when it's just that horrible feeling. I hope we both will be fine. good luck and let me know how are doing:)

kim22

18-03-14, 20:01

Hi finally somebody has got back too me....thank you :-))))!!

So this is my 5th day of 20mg of citalopram and i was taking 40mg before and had been for 2 years, ive gotta say it hasn't made any difference to me apart from im really tired and sleep alot more!! Im surprised really!!

Doctor hasnt told me what meds he changing me too :-/// so im a worried mess about that, but ill find out thursday morning!! I know im going to be panicky about taking something new!!

When i first started citalopram it was bloody awful and thats what im fearing about this!! If i have to go back to the feeling and thoughts i had when i first started meds i would actually rather not be here atall!!

I do struggle everyday now with major panic attacks and being alone and much more but when i started tabs it was to a whole other level!! I was convinced i was insane and self harm was definitely going to happen but luckily i had someone to stop me!!

Meds really are 1 off my worse fears awell as loosing control, ending up in a mental home, going to die and not being able to breath or focus!! ETC.....

Please message me back or private message me

Thanks :bighug1:
xx

Dying_Swan

18-03-14, 21:17

Hi Kim

Totally understand how scary it is! I'm bloomin' petrified too! Today was my first day of halving the Citalopram and I felt weird all day, but I'm sure it was just in my mind. It's great to hear that you've felt ok with halving your dose.

I understand about being scared of trying a new medication too. It's been nearly 9 years for me and I'm dreading it, but trying to be positive about it too. I'll be interested to hear what your GP is going to prescribe. Mine mentioned Sertraline, then upping Citalopram, and then settled on Venlafaxine. I hear what you're saying about your fears of going mad etc. Those thoughts have been worrying me recently too, but I know now its the anxiety. Do you have someone around at home? I am guessing your GP will see you fairly soon after you switch over?

Anyway, do keep us posted. Maybe we can support each other a little through our swap in meds :)

Dudka - good luck too! Depersonalistion/derealisation - Yuck! Had it today. Hope you get on ok! Let us know!

kim22

19-03-14, 11:31

Hiya i will find out in the morning what hes going to give me!! So as soon as i can i will let you know.

Im feeling terrible today think its slowly getting into my system that ive only got 20mg of citalopram going into me rather than 40mg!! Ive been awake half the night and cried that much to fill a paddling pool!!

Ive pulled myself together this moring for my daughters sake, shes young and i dont want it effecting her!!

Hope you okay! Yeah we should defiantly stick with each other sharing our experiences!

xx

dudka

19-03-14, 13:13

Kim,
let us know about the tablets. I know what you mean as I also have a lovely daughter ( 3 and half years old). I feel so guilty, I'm trying to be the best mum but it's so hard sometimes. I really hope that I will be myself soon.
Today it's a second day on Cit. feeling weird but maybe it's just I don't know what to expect and I'm expecting the worst of course:)
Dying Swan, how are u today?

Dying_Swan

19-03-14, 15:57

Hi Kim and Dudka

I'm sorry you are feeling rough today Kim. You guys both have the added worry of children - I just have a cat! Although last week I was feeling so awful that I thought she would be better off going to an animal shelter! I can only imagine the worries that having a child brings, but I am sure you are both doing a great job :)

Dudka - I was feeling v weird yesterday but I think it was my imagination. It is hard to tell though. Today is my second day of 10mg Citalopram and at the moment I feel kind of ok, have a slight headache and have slept for England. It's difficult to know what is the medication and what is anxiety.

Oh well, keep us posted. The 3 of us will get through this!

dudka

19-03-14, 16:40

Dying Swan- I have to ask you a question: are you male or female? :) I need to know that that I can imagine you in my mind as I'm writing:))

An hour ago I took oxazepam because I just couldn't stand it any longer. need to go to GP tomorrow to ask for more oxazepam for the rest of the week, just in case. Todays feelings: night sweats, vivid dreams, 3 hours sleep, depersonalization, derealisation, feeling on the edge, feeling that I' ll die or I'm already dead but I just don't know it- stupid- I know:)), blurred vision etc. so nothing really new. I try to keep positive and imagine myself in couple weeks time feeling happy, and by 'happy' I mean normal. that is my concept of happiness now:) Although I don't know if I'll survive till tomorrow and what I'll do if Citalopram will not work for me? looking for new meds again? No, I don't even go there. Kim and Dying Swan-I think about you often so keep me updated. It's a shame that we don't live in the same place- it would be fun:))

Dying_Swan

19-03-14, 19:40

Hi Dudka. I'm female, 30 years old :)

Sounds like you had a bit of a rough day. Did the oxazepam help? Nothing you've said sounds stupid at all. I remember them telling me it could take 6 weeks for the side effects to settle down with Citalopram, although hopefully it will be sooner. Are you going to see your GP tomorrow? I'm also taking Diazepam. I tried increasing it up to 2mg but it just knocked me out so I've gone back to 1mg at the moment. I guess that with all these antidepressants, it's a process of trial and error, but let's keep everything crossed that you'll soon feel better on the Citalopram and they won't switch you again. What dose are you on?

I finally decided to drag myself upright and go out for a walk about 6pm. I felt quite strange - very jumpy and tired and starting to get the derealisation/depersonalisation. I was expecting this as this is how I always know if I've forgotten to take my Citalopram. Absolutely dreading the next 3 days with nothing, but I guess I'll get through it.

I think it's really important, like you said, to try to stay positive and just think that in a few weeks we'll hopefully be feeling a bit more human! Are either of you having any therapy or other treatment at all?

Kim - I hope you are ok. Will keep everything crossed that your GP appt goes well tomorrow :)

dudka

19-03-14, 22:36

Dying Swan, I'm happy to hear that you went for a walk:) No avoidance- that's good:) I went to shop today and felt so dizzy and depersonalised- I barely found what I was looking for. but tomorrow I've got plans to go for swimming with my daughter- we'll see how that will go . I hope I won't drown:P I'm taking 5 mg of oxazepam three times a day to calm me down a little but still it's not a big dose- it does help but not as much as I would like to. And I'm on 10 mg of Citalopram at the moment. I go to therapy- once a week and privately:mad:. but to be honest I don't find the therapy working too good for me. Maybe because my therapist is going too much into my childhood and I really don't like going back there. I don't have nice memories and that's very painful. What about you? Do you have any therapy? I forgot to tell you that venlafaxine is a very good antidepressant. I originally come from Poland ( that's why you have to forgive me any mistakes in writing) and back there anxiety is treated by psychiatrists only, not by GP's .So my psychiatrist said that venlafaxine is really really good - it was good for me for quite a long time but it just stopped working and as I said higher dose was too high for me. So don't be afraid of that med:) Let me know both how you are doing as I'm very curious:) have a good peaceful night, xx

kim22

19-03-14, 23:06

Hiya my lovelies!!

Keep your chin up Dudka, starting citalopram is bloody hard and if you can even imagine yourself going swimming tomorrow your doing well!! All the negative and unwanted thoughts and feeling wont last forever....i promise!!!

Dont know how im gunna sleep tonight knowing my appoitment is in the morning but i will let you both know what hes gave me!!

Stay strong and posative!!!

Goodnight both
xx

Emphyrio

19-03-14, 23:48

Changing meds is annoying. I've switched meds several times over the past couple of years but with no success. I just don't seem to get on with SSRIs at all - a trip to the psychiatrist is in order I think :(

I have also tried to go med-free a couple of times but that didn't work - I guess I need to have the right things in place before I try it again...

dudka

20-03-14, 15:16

Kim, what about your tablets? let me know, please.
I've seen the doctor today - I think I'm his favourite patient couse I come so often lately:) and every time I ask him the same question: do you think I'm dying because I feel so? and he's just laughing. He gave me more oxazepam pills (30) but he said it's the last time he's prescribing me them :(((((( Also he said that in 7 days I should increase the dose of Citalopram to 20 mg because he's sure that 10 mg won't be enough:( It's my third day today and I feel dreadful. going for swimming it's just beyond my imagination. Although I really wanted to go because of my daughter. But it has to wait till I will be better. Went to sleep at 4 am, couldn't sleep and I was watching new Hobbit and that wasn't the best idea because even that makes me so scared. Every time Bilbo Baggins puts the ring on and he's in different reality it feels like that's best description of my anxiety:) I should change my nick on Bilbo Baggins:)
Dying Swan, how are you today? Write something, please. And by the way, what do you do girls? Are you working? How do u usually spend your days - is it only me so being so useless all the time:doh:

Dying_Swan

20-03-14, 17:04

Hi guys

Kim - how did you get on at the doctor's? I hope today has been a good day for you?

Emphyrio - I am sorry to hear that you've had so many changes of medication. That must have been hard to deal with. How do you get to see a psychiatrist? Do you go privately?

Dudka - sounds like we were both up all night! I can imagine that the Hobbit would have been a bit freaky in a state of anxiety! I was watching the news about the missing plane which I just find so sad. I think your English is amazing by the way. My Polish is non-existent! It's interesting to hear that anxiety is treated by Psychiatrists in Poland and not GPs. I'm glad you got to see your doctor - he sounds supportive? I am also lucky to have a very good GP. I have just started CBT again (3rd time!). I was having some counselling on the phone but that was also talking about a lot of stuff from my childhood and I found that quite difficult. When it finished my anxiety went crazy because I didn't know what to do with all the emotions it had brought up. I think that was just the trigger though really. But I'm putting my hopes into the CBT. Have only had one session so far, have the next one on Saturday.

Sorry that you didn't get to go swimming, but that's ok and I'm sure you will when you're feeling a bit more stable on the Citalopram. I've done nothing today. I was awake until 6am and then slept until 10, then slept again most of the afternoon. Not feeling great today - sick, a bit dizzy, tired and jumpy. I do usually work but I'm off sick at the moment, trying to get over this latest episode of anxiety. You are not useless at all!!

Hang in there people, I'm sure we'll get through this :)

kim22

20-03-14, 20:14

Hiya Ladies!!

So been the docs and got tablest, i start them saturday have to have a day tomoz without anything :ohmy:!! So hes given me 75mg of venlafaxine i think thats how you spell it!! Got to take it once daily but have to see him in 2 weeks to maybe increase the dose!! Hes told me that i will feel bad again for a week or so but just gotta manage through!! Am feeling very anxious and emotional about the whole bloody thing!!

Im sorry to hear your having a tough time Dudka!! I am completely with you on it and understand!! If you ever want to private message me maybe we could swap numbers so you can text if you need to!

I do not do anything with myself really....i look after my 4 year old daughter....look after my fella at the minute im on the search for a job!! I dont leave my home town which is a very small one!! I dont go out alone either!! Im pretty lonely!! Seems so sad but this is my life and i hate it thats why i have to change!! I sit a worry about things to a very silly extent!! I have trouble sleeping and when i do manage to sleep i have bloody nightmares :-((((!!

Hows this going with you Dying_Swan?? Have i been prescribed the same tabs as you? If so when do you start yours....we can share our feelings and thoughts :-))

Sending love your way

xxx

Dying_Swan

20-03-14, 22:51

Hi Kim

Glad you finally know which medication you're having! Yep, I'm also starting 75mg Venlafaxine on Saturday! It will be nice to be able to share how we're feeling with them. I'm going to start mine in the evening as they say to take them with food, and I'm not good at eating in the morning! I'm seeing my GP again at the end of next week. I did my first day without any Citalopram today, have to do tomorrow and Saturday too. Felt pretty rough today, quite low and quite bad depersonalisation, dropping things and jumping out of my skin! But am feeling quite a bit better this evening. Keeping everything crossed that we all start to feel better once our new meds kick in!

I'm sure that looking after a 4 year old gives you plenty to keep you busy! Are you able to leave your town with someone else? Sleeping is difficult and I know I find I feel much worse when my sleep is messed up. It's great that you are trying to tackle your anxiety though. Keep it up! :D

dudka

21-03-14, 11:51

Hiya Kim and Dying Swan:) It's seems that you are both starting the same meds on the same day:) As I said before venlafaxine is q quite good med so I really hope that it will work brilliant for both of you.
Dying Swan- thanks for a compliment about my English:) It made me smile:)) I'm trying to improve my English all the time- I've been going to English school but I stopped of course because of my dear friend Anxiety:mad: I felt the same about talking about my childhood with therapist- I had so many different emotions that I just couldn't deal with them . I was waking up feeling like a small baby left alone in big and scaring world- horrible feeling. How are you today? I really hope that you are better than yesterday. But you know what?- we really don't have much choice at the moment- we have to be prepared to feel rough, depersonalised etc. We' re switching meds at the moment so I thing we have every right to feel very very low. but IT WILL BE BETTER ONE DAY!
Kim- I know how it feels looking after a child when you feel the way you feel. I feel so quilty and frustrated that I can't be better mum- and by 'better' I mean : more happy, less crying. Especially with the weather like this in Wales today- so sunny and warm- we supposed to be out doing different funny things but I really find it so hard :( Girls, I used to be so active and energetic with lots of ideas, I used to go on a gym, I was training kickboxing, swimming etc. So it's so frustrating to me. I don't really have close friends here- I had one but after Christmas when I called her and I said that we're not coming over because I was having panic attack after panic attack she's just stopped talking to me:( She said that I use my anxiety as an excuse and She doesn't really belive me that I'm feeling so rough because I looked normal! never mind. life goes on:)

---------- Post added at 11:51 ---------- Previous post was at 11:43 ----------

Anyway. I also have troubles sleeping and very vivid dreams ( I mean nightmares) when I manage to sleep. But the good thing is that my appetite is better now than it used to be when I was mixing my doses of venlafaxine- a yoghurt and banana , that was all I could eat .
Anyway, every rough day brings us closer to the good one:yahoo:
Let me know how are you today!

xxx

kim22

21-03-14, 17:48

Hi Both!!

So today has been my worst....so emotional, dizzy, stressed, im just crying out for some help!! I've had no meds today maybe thats why??:sad:!!!

How are you too?

Sorry ive not write much im not feeling very chatty today!!

Sending lots of cuddles and love your way

xx

dudka

21-03-14, 18:35

Kim, if that's helpful I'm feeling the same today:( just horrible. crying all the time, so depressed. Don't know even what I'm feeling, is it anxiety, depression or what else. kisses for you, xxx

kim22

22-03-14, 10:19

OMG ive feel bad.....i feel drunk, light headed, all ive done is cry again...my body is a mess!! I havent yet took my new tablet but im going to now :-(((( i feel sick with worry!!!

How you feeling Dudka please get in touch....

Lots of love and hugs xx

Dying_Swan

22-03-14, 10:32

Hi lovely ladies :)

I'm sorry you're both feeling so rubbish. If it's any help, I'm not feeling great either! Yesterday I went out late afternoon to the shop and for a walk. I wanted to walk further but felt so dizzy and weird, I was a bit scared and came home. I looked up SSRI withdrawal symptoms and my symptoms are classic, but the good news was it said that they soon improve with medication. I felt quite tearful last night too. I've been sleeping on and off but waking up a lot.

I think like Dudka said, we are bound to feel rough at the moment because we're changing medication so we are likely to get some effects from that. BUT let's hope our new tablets are going to help. Kim - do you have any therapy or other treatments at all? If you feel really awful, you can always ring NHS direct or the on call GP

Dudka - I'm really sorry to hear that your friend was so unsupportive. I have some close friends I can talk to about it but I tend to keep it quite hidden. That's why it's so nice to be able to talk freely here. The sunny weather does help. I love Wales! I last went there in September for a few days.

Good luck with your first tablet Kim. Let us know how you get on. I've got to go to CBT today but my Mum is having to drive me because I'm too dizzy to drive. Yuck. I'll take the first Venlafaxine tonight.

Hugs to you both. I hope today is a better day for us all xxx

dudka

22-03-14, 16:09

just horrible, went to B&Q in the morning with my husband to buy some paint for my daughter room- I have no idea how I've done it but I survived. Wasn't so bad actually. Now I feel just horrible. I also feel drunk, separate from my body and like there was massive black cloud hanging over me. I just took oxazepam and I hope it will help a bit. I feel like I was going totally crazy. I just can't even look at other people- they all look so normal and happy doing shopping etc. It has been three months now since I' m feeling so horrible and I don't see any improvement. At this moment feel like I start losing hope that it will be better someday... but it has to be, doesn't ?? OMG I promise you that when we all get better you will come to Wales, stay at my place and we all get drunk with wine, beer or vodka whatever and with happiness!!!Although I haven't been drinking at all for last three years because I was to afraid to but this time I'll make exception:))

Dying_Swan

23-03-14, 13:08

Hi ladies

How are you both doing today?

Dudka - well done for going to B&Q! That's great that you managed it even when you were feeling so poorly. I totally understand what you mean about looking at other people and they all look normal and happy. That gets me down too, but then I try to remember that everyone has their battles to fight, we just don't know about it. Please don't lose hope. When I was at my worst, in 2005, it took me several months to get back on track. There definitely is hope so hang on to it! I really smiled when you said about us coming to visit you in Wales and us all having a good old drink! Lovely thought :) How are you feeling today?

Yesterday I still felt very dizzy and took my first Venlafaxine last night. Within 2-3 hours the dizziness had gone :yesyes: and this morning it is still not there. I know that was just the withdrawal from Citalopram and I know that it is going to take some time for the Venlafaxine to settle in, but so far, so good.

Kim - how are you doing today? I do hope things are a little bit easier?