constantly worried

[paula78]

Hello All.

Is it just me! I just cnt shake off the feeling that's something must be wrong with me I've had this condition only a short time I think but I have a run or several weeks plus that are awful then a really good day or two then BAM! Back to square one for eg friday I spent most of the day in bed then shook myself out of it and felt brilliant till last night ( saturday) now (sunday) I'm back to square one again, breathlesness, quickened heartbeat an feel very odd this is driving me crackers, I just want to be back to my old self, I'm not currently taking med because I fear of the side effects although I was precribed Sertaline last week I just cnt bring myself to take them!!! :( x:weep:

[Phuzella]

But you're having good days, focus on them:)

[jillyb]

I don't know if you have been prescribed meds for anxiety and/or depression but I have, very reluctantly, started on citalopram. Like you I was terrified of taking them, as I am any meds, but I had got to the point where I just knew I couldn't manage my, mainly HA, anxieties any longer. It was having a dreadful effect on me and the family. My pills sat in the drawer for months. I went to the doctor and just broke down. He told me to go home, take the pills out and start taking them. I cried and cried as I was so frightened, but I did it. He also gave me diazepam to help with the increased anxiety. It is now 5 weeks, still early days, but I am beginning to feel better. Today I have a horrible cold/ cough etc so the HA is rearing it's ugly head, but I'm managing not to catastrophise (well, just about!). I know it's going to be a long slog and they are not wonder pills but so many people on here have encouraged me to keep going with them, and I'm really grateful. If you decide to take the plunge a) talk to your GP about some diazepam b) post on here for loads of support. I hope you feel better soon x

[paula78]

Thankyou jilly,
I was on citalopram and got so scared after a week I stopped, the thing is my doctors isn't very good an I've seen several Gps who just tell me I'm ok when I really dnt feel it! So I've been prescribed diazepam and sertaline but I get so anxious about taking tham as I fear they're not going to help because the mis diagnosed me or not treating me correctly, I've been reffered for CBt and find out tomorrow when my first appt is! And I have to have blood test tomorrow but I'm so scared of what the results will tell me that I'm dubious about having them! :( what a mess, My HA is real bad at the min an I just feel so tired :( thankyou for your words of advice an if I can manage to take my first pill in the morning I will be right here gaining help from you all to get me through! I hope you feel better real soon too xxx

[mummyanxious]

Haven't you taken the sertraline before? I thought I saw you on the sert board? Maybe I was mistaken.
Maybe you're just getting worried about your blood tests?

[paula78]

Yeah You may have seen me I'm really new to the site so looking everywhere for advice on sertraline! I'm just so anxious about the med and blood tests, thing is I had bloods done in jan an they were fine an that's when my symptoms first started as I had sciatica and thought I was badly reacting to the meds so went A an E they took me of painkillers and put me on steroids did a ecg which was ok an my bloods were ok apart from slightly high in white blood cell count the usual is 11 an mine was 13 since then I've been prescribed several meds which dnt aggree an now I have the sertraline which I'm scared to take x

[mummyanxious]

Several anxiety meds?

[paula78]

Yeah Ads ( citalopram, prozac,) and amitryptaline, diazepam, propanalol an another that I cnt remember the name of begining with M! X

[mummyanxious]

Citalopram and Prozac and sertraline are all the same spectrum though so may not be good. I'm currently going through a reaction of heightened anxiety to sert. I've stopped after two days. Feel a failure but can't take the side effects. Diazepam is supposed to be calming though so not sure why this wouldn't have suited you.

[jillyb]

Paula, you sound just like me! Scared to take med (20 years before I'd even take a paracetamol!), scared of any twinge in your body, scared not to take meds, scared of any tests etc ec. HA really is hideous. Mine is definitely the avoidance type! My cold, which started with a sore throat, was meningitis, then with the cough, pneumonia and so I go on. Other people just have a cold,why can't i?! It's all about living with uncertainty and that's really difficult for me. I hope you find the cbt useful. X

[Round in circles]

Try not to view it as going backwards. You have bad times, some good times, then more bad. It's not going backwards as per say. It's just another down turn. We have good days, and bad days, but it's one long continual journey forward whether there's more bad days or not.