PDA

View Full Version : Boyfriend sending me into a panic!



India123
17-03-14, 01:25
A while ago I posted about pulmonary embolism/cardiac fears because I started getting chest pain. Because it's always in the evening/after a big meal (though it also gets worse when I freak out, naturally) and is often accompanied by regurgitation or coughing, when I went to the doctor I was diagnosed with GERD, and given some omeprazole to help. I have also had an ECG to rule out anything more serious

The omeprazole got rid of the cough but didn't eliminate the chest pain, so they suggested I try domperidone as the next step up.

I've been having some real trouble with consulting 'Dr Google' and having panic attacks when I look up my symptoms, so in an effort to get better I decided that although sometimes it can be helpful, for someone with HA a little knowledge without any context is a bad thing, and I completely stopped looking stuff up on the internet.

Since then, coupled with the fact that I've had chest pain for two months now and have reached the point where I can start to say 'well I'm still alive so that's a good sign' means I've been making real progress, still getting anxiety but my panic attacks completely stopped.

Today my boyfriend was looking up domperidone on the internet, which is fine, he's allowed to, until he saw an article about how it is possible (a small chance, but possible nonetheless) for domperidone to increase your risk of a sudden cardiac death, and thought it would be a good idea to tell me this!!

Of course this immediately sent me into a blind panic and I had my first panic attack in weeks. I understand he said it as a flippant comment and obviously did not intend for it to have this effect, but as my boyfriend who has known me for years and has dealt with many of my panic attacks, I'm amazed that he could have been so stupid. A doctor has prescribed me this medication and wouldn't do so if they thought I was at risk, and even if he didn't know me at all it's pretty basic common knowledge to realise that telling someone with HA (especially with cardiophobia) that they are at risk of a sudden cardiac death is pretty dumb indeed!!

I would have been fine if he had just apologised and said he did not realise the implications of what he just said (even though he really should by now), but instead he went on to sort of half apologise, then basically tell me to man up, which made things even worse

Long story short is I know he genuinely didn't mean to upset me but I'm still extremely angry, is this reasonable? I'm especially mad because when I'm particularly anxious I stay up all night in case I have a heart attack in my sleep, I feel like that now but I have a really important day tomorrow and I know I'm going to be exhausted.

I know it's a completely different thing but my boyfriend suffers from depression, as I said I can't liken the two because my anxiety is VERY different, but I do feel like as a result he should be able to empathise a bit more, rather than being so callous when I'm clearly in need of his support

How do your partners help with your anxiety? Is there a way of making someone understand if they don't know how to deal with it/deal with it badly? If anyone else has had a similar experience I would love to hear it!

---------- Post added at 01:25 ---------- Previous post was at 01:13 ----------

I should also mention that his comment freaked me out so much I stopped taking my domperidone. This means that my chest pain is worse tonight and I really don't fancy trying to sleep ):

Round in circles
17-03-14, 01:31
Good grief, some people are as subtle as a brick. I'd be angry at your boyfriend too if I was in your shoes India. On the up side, it's great that you're not googling anymore. Well done on that front. It's also encouraging that the chest pain happens after eating and is accompanied by regurgitation and coughing. The reason I say this is that it fits with having stomach issues as opposed to heart trouble. I'm no expert, I've just had those exact symptoms for years myself.

MyNameIsTerry
17-03-14, 01:48
I would say the best thing to do is calmly take about it.

Ask why he said it, why didnt he think first, etc.


Perhaps its just one of those times when we dont think first, we all do it. If his depression is bothering him he may not be very focussed which could explain the half hearted apology. I know on my done days I doubt I would really care ig WW3 broke out!


He may have thought he could make it worse and sort of backed down instead of being more full on in explaining himself because you needed to calm down.


Perhaps he has thoughts about this situation and feels he handled it badly.


Its hard to say, but you know him and have most likely been through some rough times together with anxiety & depression getting in the way, so only you can say for sure.

---------- Post added at 02:48 ---------- Previous post was at 02:47 ----------

P.S. Im male so I think I would be feeling guilty and maybe a bit frustrated...but I would be sloping off for a bunch of flowers for you!

Fishmanpa
17-03-14, 02:30
Please don't allow a personal relationship stop you from taking your medication.

Positive thoughts