Irrational fears, severe anxiety attacks?

[panic_deep]

Hi.

I am suffering from something my therapist describes as "fear of the unknown"

Except it's severe.

I experience periods of intense anxiety, brought about by FEAR of something very bad happening...........usually to me :(

These thoughts ravage me all the time. From the moment I wake up, until I go to bed.

I once told my therapist : I wish I could sleep forever. When I sleep, I fear nothing. In my dreams, I am someone else : someone stronger, more self-confident.

These fears come out of nowhere mostly. The worst thing is : ANY situation triggers them. Even a seemingly harmless and normal situation ---- at work, in the bus, in the grocery store, whatever. Instead of seeing things as they are, I see things as they COULD BE ---- a situation where I am being rebuked, humiliated, yelled at, abused, insulted, attacked (verbally and physically). As a result, I cant wait to run back to the safety of my apartment, and crawl under a blanket.

The problem is : I am alone in my apartment. So, these thoughts become magnified............and as a result, I can hardly wait to run out again, into the streets, so I wont be alone, but amongst people

Round and round it goes.

I am surprised that I am still able to function as a normal person. I still go to work 5 days a week. I still smile once in a while (although even my colleagues at work are starting to notice something wrong. Especially when they see me standing still in the middle of a room or corridor, and staring into space for half an hour :( :(

[Soul Fire]

Hi Panic_deep,

You are not alone in this, from how you have described it I experience something very similar.

I get terrified that if I see a bit of rubbish in the street and don't pick it up as I would be to blame if someone hurt themselves because of it. I also fear that if I make a mistake in my job that somewhere down the line someone could be hurt or killed as a result.

I get terrified that if my attention lapses momentarily whilst driving then I may have caused an accident and have to turn around over and over to check. It's all a bloody nightmare.

Things did get better for me at one point, I was doing Yoga and meditation and exercising lots. These things really did help, I was also seeing a therapist and taking medication at the time. I seem to have gone backwards over the last few months.

Maybe you should try something like Yoga, you might meet some new people and the meditation will definitely give your mind a break, even if it is only momentarily, but it's a start. Also a book that helped me is At Last a Life by Paul David, although there are many other good books out there.

I'm sure you'll find plenty of useful advice here. Good luck x.

[panic_deep]

Hi Panic_deep,

You are not alone in this, from how you have described it I experience something very similar.

I get terrified that if I see a bit of rubbish in the street and don't pick it up as I would be to blame if someone hurt themselves because of it. I also fear that if I make a mistake in my job that somewhere down the line someone could be hurt or killed as a result.

I get terrified that if my attention lapses momentarily whilst driving then I may have caused an accident and have to turn around over and over to check. It's all a bloody nightmare.

Things did get better for me at one point, I was doing Yoga and meditation and exercising lots. These things really did help, I was also seeing a therapist and taking medication at the time. I seem to have gone backwards over the last few months.

Maybe you should try something like Yoga, you might meet some new people and the meditation will definitely give your mind a break, even if it is only momentarily, but it's a start. Also a book that helped me is At Last a Life by Paul David, although there are many other good books out there.

I'm sure you'll find plenty of useful advice here. Good luck x.


Hi

Thanks for the helpful response.

I did try yoga and meditation. It didnt work, because I could not focus :(

I kept getting distracted.........those bad thoughts wouldnt leave alone

I have a car, but I dont drive anymore, because I am afraid to lose concentration while driving (((( :(

Seeing my therapist is helping, but not enough.

Every day...........literally every day, I wake up with the thought of ending it all (((

[Kdbaby]

I am going through the same thing except all of my irrational scary thoughts have to do with me losing my mind...it is horrible. I have been ready At last a life by Paul David and it has been helping it is hard but you have to realize that your brain is producing these thoughts to help health itself and every time you think of one of these you have to tell yourself that. They are pretty much an illusion. I hope this helps. I think the biggest things with all of this is learning not to fear and trusting in yourself again.

[panic_deep]

I am going through the same thing except all of my irrational scary thoughts have to do with me losing my mind...it is horrible. I have been ready At last a life by Paul David and it has been helping it is hard but you have to realize that your brain is producing these thoughts to help health itself and every time you think of one of these you have to tell yourself that. They are pretty much an illusion. I hope this helps. I think the biggest things with all of this is learning not to fear and trusting in yourself again.


Hi kdbaby

thanks for your response

This phrase caught my attention : "your brain is producing these thoughts to help health itself....."

Does this imply that the brain was/is in need of healing? if so, what caused it?

I am merely curious. If I can understand this, then maybe I might stop feeling so bad about these thoughts

[Kdbaby]

People with anxiety worry constantly which in turn tires the brain. When you start getting these thoughts it's your brain trying to heal by releasing adrenaline. Hope this helps. I understand this well but I am having a pretty hard time myself with these scary obsessive thoughts. Good luck to you! You can do it!

[panic_deep]

People with anxiety worry constantly which in turn tires the brain. When you start getting these thoughts it's your brain trying to heal by releasing adrenaline. Hope this helps. I understand this well but I am having a pretty hard time myself with these scary obsessive thoughts. Good luck to you! You can do it!

Thanks again

PM me.

I'd like to know more about these scary thoughts you have

Not trying to pry. Just want to share.........I guess, I want to see if I am not the craziest man alive :(

[Tanner40]

Panic Deep, your story resonated with me. When I first began having panic attacks many years ago, it became so bad that I was afraid to leave the house. Almost to the point of agorphobia. Yet I was afraid to be alone. As long as someone was with me in my house, I felt safe. I had forgotten how to trust myself.
I was always afraid that something would happen when I was alone and I wouldn't be able to handle it. This fear still creeps up on me from time to time. Learning to gutsy ourselves again is hard to do but is totally possible.
Therapy helped me a great deal, along with forcing myself to do things even though I was afraid. I just continued to feel the fear and do it anyway until eventually the fear went away.

Distraction and CBT are amazing tools for this issue. Have you tied either ofmthem?

[Round in circles]

Yet I was afraid to be alone. As long as someone was with me in my house, I felt safe. I had forgotten how to trust myself.


That sent shivers down my spine Tanner. That's pretty much my situation, only there's no one here with me and my fear.

[Tanner40]

I understand Round In Circles. My partner is getting ready to leave for the next ten days to go to Atlanta. Her Mother is having surgery. I am already feeling the anticipatory anxiety. I just keep telling myself that I can handle this.

[panic_deep]

I've tried everything I can think of : yoga, meditation, exercising, joining meet-up groups, etc, etc

Nothing works

Mainly because : these thoughts --- these mental images --- they take new forms each time I find myself in a different situation. in ANY situation

So, rather than distracting me, any social activity only amplifies these thoughts and images, by creating new ones :weep: :weep:

---------- Post added at 07:32 ---------- Previous post was at 07:30 ----------

I when to the doctor last week..........and took a prescription for sleeping pills

I dont need them, because my sleep is fine

I bought them............and keep them in my locker...........just in case a time comes when I feel I cant cope anymore..............

[panic_deep]

Hi guys

how is everyone doing today?

Anyone still up? It's 8:30 a.m. here

Just need someone to talk to

[Mrsh11]

Hi, I am awake as it is 8am here. Today is my day off work but I am lying here waiting for my phone to ring with work problems. It almost never does but it makes it impossible to relax. I even start worrying about it the night before. Hope you are ok this morning.

[panic_deep]

Hi

I'm at work now. It's 10.36 a.m. here

I cannot focus on work. Cant focus on anything really

These raging thoughts in my head consume me, and take me over. Sometimes, I lose control of my physical self, and start to shake............sweat........heart beating like a drum...........fast and heavy................

Those sleeping pills in my cupboard are seeming more and more appealing each day :( :(