Stress

[Polar Bear]

It's difficult to know where to start about how I'm feeling lately.

Basically I get stressed out at everything it seems. I am a person who just can't relax. I'm anxious all the time and react badly to so many situations. It's a nagging unease that I feel constantly. I'm able to get out and do things but I am always looking out for the worse and thinking too much about every situation. I can't think straight.

I've just phoned the doctors to make an appointment and talk to him about going back onto citalopram which I was on a few years ago for 6 months. I've also been having counselling for a few years now. It helps but hasn't solved the problem. My moods go up and down so much.

I feel that I've been like this for so long (decades) that I'm losing heart that I will ever be "normal" Just wish that I could relax and switch off my anxious brain to rest a little. I'm getting older now (late 50's) and my physical health is suffering. Part of this is just getting older but being in an alert/anxious and negative state all the time is I'm sure having a profound effect upon my physical health.

I'm sure many on this site can relate to this. I'm starting to cry as I think about what I'm writing. How do I get out of this spiral? I've fought against this for so long and I'm not winning!

Not sure what responses I want to this message really. Just know that I'm feeling really tired and lost in a sea of thoughts that I can't sort out!

Scared of the future

Thanks for reading.

Mike

[sparkle_1979]

It's hard I know, I pretty much feel like that and I get so angry as I don't really have anything To worry about. I've a great husband and gorgeous children but I spend my time worry about "what if"

Try and talk to your doctor. Sorry I'm not much help x

[Polar Bear]

Thanks Sparkle. It helps to know I'm not alone. Yes will definitely talk this through with the doctor. I've resisted going back onto the medication but think I need that assistance.

Yes I hate the "what ifs." Good luck in your fight against all of this.

[MyNameIsTerry]

I know how you feel.

Im in my late thirties and I feel a lot older. Its really affected my general health and Ive put more weight on which is probably adding to it, as well as affecting my mental health.


I think for me, exercise is the key. Its very good for mental health as well.


Can you add mr exercise? Even going for walks maybe?Perhaps aim towards more exercise from there, possible a group?

[Polar Bear]

Thanks Terry.

I think you're right about exercise. Need to make some time to start doing some exercise and build this up. Like you I've put on weight and could definitely do with losing some as it can't help being overweight (which I am).

Good luck with your exercise regime and thanks for your help.

[blueangel]

You've mentioned that you've had counselling for a few years, but has this been structured around something like CBT? This works for a lot of people as it helps deal with negative thought patterns.

I've been to three different counsellors over the years for short periods of time - two of them were excellent but I didn't feel I got anywhere with the other one as we just talked round in circles, and I didn't find that helpful. The best one went through a structured programme of CBT and also taught me some mindfulness and what to do about anxiety relapses. I paid for this course myself as I didn't want to wait ages for someone on the NHS and it really was worth every penny.

[Polar Bear]

My counselling has been more general although I know that some of the exercises etc that she has done are CBT. Definitely not structured around CBT.

I think that this is another thing I need to look at.

Thanks for this.

[Dying_Swan]

Hi Mike

You certainly are not alone with these horrible feelings. As Blueangel mentioned, I was wondering if CBT might be more helpful for you than general counselling? We are all different and what works for one might not for another, but in my experience, CBT has a longer lasting impact than counselling. I think counselling can be very helpful to overcome some specific events, or to examine your past, but CBT helps in the here and now.

It would also be a good idea to see your GP and discuss whether you want to try the medication route again. Sometimes I think that acknowledging there is a problem and talking to the doctor about it can help you feel that you are on the path to improvement, whether you opt for medication or not.

As Terry suggested, exercise is also really important. I'm a fine one to talk! But at the moment I am forcing myself to go for a walk every day and sometimes it feels impossible, but it does always make me feel a little bit better.

Hang in there and keep talking :)

[HoneyLove]

Hi Polar Bear, have you tried any stress reduction methods? When you're stressed your brain releases stress hormones into your body, it's what makes you feel so wired and like you can't switch off.

Reducing your stress levels and engaging in activities that will reduce stress hormones and release endorphins will really help you feel much better.

I see exercise has been mentioned already, it's a great way to help yourself. You also need to engage your parasympathetic nervous system with a daily relaxation method like mindfulness, meditation, breathing exercises or yoga. Don't underestimate the power of these methods to help you.

I'd recommend a book called Flagging Stress by Dr Harry Barry. It's a great way to educate yourself about stress, it's effects on the body and what you can do to combat it.

[Polar Bear]

Thanks Dying Swan and HoneyLove.

Definitely feeling that I need to look at the options that you are suggesting. CBT sounds worth trying and also mediation. Have tried breathing exercises but must practice more. I think I've not put enough effort into some of these things in the past.

Dying Swan - definitely need to keep talking as it does help. Glad I started this thread. Knowing I'm not alone with these feelings is useful (although I wish none of us felt like this!)

HoveyLove - Will get hold of the flagging Stress book and read that

Thanks for all your support

Mike

[HoneyLove]

Best of luck with it Mike, being proactive will help you no end :) Stress is possible to manage, try lots of different methods to figure out what works for you.

Here's a link to that book on Amazon, if you feel like having a look. I read it early last year when I was really struggling with anxiety, and saw myself written in the pages. It was really eye opening about dealing with stress in order to feel good mentally.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Flagging-Stress-Harry-Barry/dp/1905483317/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1395228933&sr=1-1&keywords=flagging+stress

[Polar Bear]

Thanks for the link for the book and thanks for all your help. The book looks good and will get it.

Yes need to keep being proactive now.

Thanks again for all your help

[phil6]

Polar Bear
I empathise with you as I am 60 and have had many years of experiencing anxiety. It is hard dealing with a feeling that has been established as a habit over many years.
I exercise, I do meditation, though not as often as I should, and have done CBT etc etc.
I tried medication in the recent past but am off it now.
Like you, when it gets hard, we search for any means of relief.
All I would say is I am sure that the struggle and the searching and trying is actually the problem. I am not saying that all the strategies above are not sensible but in the end we have to face up to and lose our fear of anxiety. I know this is the cure, as it has got me better in the past. That's not to say its easy, and indeed I am really struggling again to do this.
I am not anti medication but it is defeatist thinking to believe that you have to go that route. Medication works well for some, but not all, and it usually comes with some side effects.
By all means learn about anxiety and what is happening, but please try not to fall into the trap that you need to find a way out. The thing I am learning (again) is that I need to let go of the urge to cure myself, and feel anxious , but feel it without struggling to get rid of it. These actions, searching, struggling, trying to control etc are all fuelling the disorder.
Phil

[Polar Bear]

Thanks for your thoughts Phil.

I know what you mean about fuelling the problems so the more we can be distracted the better. I suppose that the activities such as exercise, meditation etc are going to help in that way as well as generally improving health and wellbeing.

Thinking I somehow need to create a balance. As you say getting trapped into thinking about it all the time doesn't help. Maybe if I can practice some of the calming techniques and think about them as improving my health this might help.

Have been feeling a bit better since I started this thread (partly because of the help I've received here). As you say it's difficult when we have felt this way for so long. I have trouble remembering when I didn't have some sort of anxiety nagging away.

[louise_192]

im feeling exactly the same! i cant deal with stress at all lately! your not alone!

[MyNameIsTerry]

You're right there. I cant remember how I felt before when I had a normal enjoyable life.

It makes me question how I can better when I cant remember what it even feels like.


Prof Mark Williams has some good books on the latest form of CBT, Mindfulness Based CBT (MBCBT).

[Polar Bear]

Sorry that you're in the same boat Louise. Hope some of the suggestions on this thread might help you too.

Thanks for the info on Mindfulness CBT Terry.

[Round in circles]

I know what you mean about being anxious all the time. When the anxiety gets stuck in the on position we become hyper vigilant, which then feeds back into the anxiety creating an endless cycle. Definitely try some things that will break that cycle.. Exercise, meditation, mindfulness, etc. I still get anxious about lots of things, but fortunately for my sanity I now have gaps in between.

Best wishes.