Help :(

[halfwayhome]

Health anxiety.. I didn't even know that existed.

Lately, my anxiety has been out of control.
About five weeks ago, I had a health scare - I had some symptoms that led me to believe I had colon cancer. I went to the doctor, who did an examination and found nothing. He gave me a take home test to do, but I never did it - I was too afraid. The symptoms were horrible - mostly abdominal pain. I woke up with it daily.
Shortly after that, I started thinking I didn't have colon cancer, but I must have SOMETHING else horrible. I think I went from HIV (I've only ever had sex with one person, and never unprotected), to appendicitis to.. I can't even remember. Just everything.

Lately, I've been obsessed with a brain tumor.
It started with some vertigo and balance problems. I went to the doctor who told me it was probably labrynthitis. I didn't believe him. As time went on, I felt some facial numbness on the right half of my face, and then some numbness in my right arm and slight sensations in my left arm. After having continuous panic attacks for days (and googling to no end.) I broke down and begged my poor boyfriend (who has been dealing with this nonstop for weeks now.) to take me to the emergency room.

After waiting for five hours, I was told that this was due to stress and anxiety. I specifically asked the doctor about a brain tumor and he did some tests - no scans, just an exam. He told me straight out "this is not a brain tumor." I even asked him if he was sure. He said he was sure enough that he wasn't going to order a scan and that there was no need to "radiate my brain".

I felt better that night, but the next day it all came back. The strange sensations have now spread to my right leg as well. My motor skills are fine, they're just feelings that I have. I don't believe that anxiety can cause such strong physical symptoms no matter how many people tell me it can. My boyfriend tries so hard to tell me that it's stress, but my reaction is "how does he know?" I logic myself into not believeing the doctor because "misdiagnosis happens."

Aside from the weird sensations/numbness on the right side of my body, my memory hasn't been as good, I'm having a bit of trouble remembering the right words (but it comes back to me in less than two seconds) and I still have some vertigo.

I'm just at my wits end. I cannot continue to live my life like this. I am in a constant state of panic and anxiety. Can anxiety really cause one sided numbness like this? Can these symptoms really just be anxiety?
I am currently trying to book an appointment with my old psychaitrist who I haven't seen in over a year, but meanwhile I am just in horrible shape. I see a brain tumor commercial and I think it's a sign. I feel the tiniest sense of ANYTHING and I assume it's connected. My friend just told me a story about a friend of hers' sister who had a tumor and would've died if she had waited even a week longer to go to the hospital. This all just makes everything worse.

I'm too scared to go to another doctor. asides from the fact that everyone in my life is telling me that I'm being ridiculous. I just.. need help. I don't believe that anxiety can cause this - how can anxiety cause these sensations on only one side? I really feel like I'm going to have a seizure and die any second.

Steph

[looking4answers]

Just a note to tell you that you arent alone..my bet is on anxiety..maybe your doctor and prescribe you something even if its mild..its the only way that I can rid myself of the things that you are describing..and sometimes just plain tylenol helps..dont know whats in it but maybe the side effects are helping me..Im like you ...in alot of ways I feel and hear a heartbeat beating in my head,neck and ears around the clock..I have seen to specialist both say its pretty much related to stress.I have facial numbness ,and numbness in my hands and arms when im asleep.I wake and different parts of my body have feelings of numbness.One side feels numb sometimes also my skin feels like its numb and numerous symptoms to numerous to mention here.Ok..I have been checked by two specialist for brain tumor ,ear tumor, vasular, and other reasons..all comes back to stress..Hearing my heartbeat like a stethocope I can hear every little sound it makes from half beats to full beats to extra beats to skip beats and sometimes it feels like afib.I go from worrying about heart attack ,stroke,brain tumor, cancer, to run of the mll diabetes ,aids and other things..back and forth back and forth.I am about to drive my wife crazy .. and we are fighting more than we ever have which to tell you the truth we never fought..This is causing so much tension between us..She was there with me when the doctors told me that it was nothing so she just keeps telling me, when I ask what she thinks.. and she says there is nothing wrong with you .. or stress or panic or whatever..She even was so frustrated with me last night she said that you are becoming nuts with hearing my pulse..well depression already and having your wife distance herself from you just doesn't help.I know two nurses that are friends are were friends that I think that I have ran away from me and just because i keep asking them what they think..frankly they are tired of talking to me about health..so I am running everyone away from me..Its just anxiety dear..Everything you described is just anxiety .. I hate to admit it to myself even its anxiety and we will make it through we just have to convince ourselves that we are ok or just say we don't care and hope and pray and work on it everyday .I have been fighting with anxiety all my life off and on..Im still here after 52 years and well keep thinking today is the last but well It hasn't been. I don't know how old you are but at my age it should be easier to say that I don't care but its not..If you are young try turning your attention that you normally would about yourself over to your boyfriend and the long life and your future plans..something..I have fought with anxiety over a lifetime and won battles here and there..it goes and then it comes back and then it goes.. Maybe one day for both of us .I just wanted to share how I have dealt with it and how i deal with it and what it is..Odds are more for you being struck by lightning than you having a brain tumor or something major wrong with you .I know that about myself too but feel that im older so the odds are more with me ..even though i have been to two very good doctors that tell me otherwise..We are just going to have to believe someone someday to get over this.. good luck to you and don't worry there are plenty others feels the way you do..