Ugh, feel like I'm going backwards. :(

[Charlotteee89]

I thought I was doing better but now I feel like I'm going to have another full blown panic attack. :scared15:

My obsessional thinking is back full force tonight & I'm struggling to control it. What doesn't help is that every time I'm in my house I start to feel anxious anyway - I had a panic attack 5 weeks ago at night which terrified me & now I can't stop associating my home with loneliness, isolation & imprisonment. :weep: I keep looking at my walls & closed curtains thinking how lonely I am/feel. :/

All these "What's ifs?" keep slamming through my brain at 100mph & I'm struggling to believe they're just intrusive or obsessive thoughts - I keep thinking that me telling myself that is just me trying to cover up how I really feel. :wacko: I feel so spaced out & shaky.

UGHHHHHHH. I feel like I'm losing myself again, like my whole life is turning on it's axis. :wacko:

[trish1955]

Bless its awful wen one min you this k yr doing OK then bang and it always seems worse wen we have had a good spell its come back and you swear it worse than before I no the lonely feeling I live in a house with my hubby son daughter and grandson yet I feel as lonely as some one on desert island as none of them can really understand how we feel no more than we can put into words for a none suffer to understand us we have to tell how selfs we will get better as that gives us hope at least take care xxx

[Charlotteee89]

I seem to have two different parts of my mind clashing together. :wacko: It's the only way I can describe my anxiety.

My irrational part of my mind - Is trying to convince me that I'm lonely, it's constantly burying through thoughts & memories I have & throwing ones back at me that it thinks are relevant. & It's constantly shouting "What ifs?" at me. & certain things trigger the obsessive thoughts.

My rational part of my mind - Is going "What the hell?!" & telling me that I'm definitely not lonely, just a bit bored with my life & my anxiety is getting confused between the two.

My irrational part of my mind is really trying to push out the rational part & take over... It's a nightmare! I'm so confused & getting quite overwhelmed! I definitely don't want to 'listen' to the irrational part & the fact I can't seem to not is frustrating me.

I have a fear of getting depression & losing control so when I do 'listen' to my irrational part of my mind I can get very low & then I start getting panicky thinking I'm developing depression. :wacko:

[cloudbusting]

Hi there

I am feeling like this too right now - was doing so well and then 'WHAM!' feeling back to square one again.

He isn't everyone's cup of chamomile :winks: but I have been reading and listening to a lot of stuff by Eckhart Tolle lately. He talks about what you describe - the being in two minds thing - and calls the 'negative' part the 'pain body'. When you look at it in this way it becomes more manageable.

Have a look on You Tube for Eckhart Tolle, dissolving the pain body.

Much love and good luck x

[Freaked]

May not be helpful, but do you read? Reading anything good atm? I find it more helpful in relaxing and pausing anxious thoughts than other activities, and I can only theorise it's because it absorbs you in an outside story, but requires your brain to be more actively involved than television. Attention is like a spotlight and can only truly be focused on one thing at a time. If you find something that actively occupies your mind and you find relaxing, you'd be surprised how many of the thoughts will go away.

[MARK1971]

Hi there I too get those war of the minds as I call it. yes the irrational/dark side is a very strong force to ward off as it's very easy to give into those thoughts , get into bed and stare at the ceiling.

To help I too tend to read a lot best thing I invested in was a kindle and intend to read historical novels as they also make you think and imagine!

Not every one cup of tea but a suggestion!

[Charlotteee89]

Hi there

I am feeling like this too right now - was doing so well and then 'WHAM!' feeling back to square one again.

He isn't everyone's cup of chamomile :winks: but I have been reading and listening to a lot of stuff by Eckhart Tolle lately. He talks about what you describe - the being in two minds thing - and calls the 'negative' part the 'pain body'. When you look at it in this way it becomes more manageable.

Have a look on You Tube for Eckhart Tolle, dissolving the pain body.

Much love and good luck x

I think that's what bothers me most - How I can be doing okay for a day or two then suddenly BAM I feel awful again. :/

I'm getting confused over whether I do have depression to a degree or whether I'm just allowing my obsessive thougths to override me?

Oh interesting, I'll have a look. :) xx


May not be helpful, but do you read? Reading anything good atm? I find it more helpful in relaxing and pausing anxious thoughts than other activities, and I can only theorise it's because it absorbs you in an outside story, but requires your brain to be more actively involved than television. Attention is like a spotlight and can only truly be focused on one thing at a time. If you find something that actively occupies your mind and you find relaxing, you'd be surprised how many of the thoughts will go away.

I don't read too much no, it is something I wish I was more into though! I find that trying to distract myself adds to feeling anxious as my mind is aware that I'm trying to distract myself.


Hi there I too get those war of the minds as I call it. yes the irrational/dark side is a very strong force to ward off as it's very easy to give into those thoughts , get into bed and stare at the ceiling.

To help I too tend to read a lot best thing I invested in was a kindle and intend to read historical novels as they also make you think and imagine!

Not every one cup of tea but a suggestion!

It's horrible isn't it? You just don't know who to listen to sometimes! It's so overwhelming. I try to tell myself that our minds could convince us of anything if we allow it to!

I've felt so low & emotional today... Sensitive aswell! A customer at work was rude to me & I felt like crying! Very abnormal for me. :unsure: But since coming home I feel a bit better. Tired, but not so low.

I've been thinking all day whether I have depression but I'm just not sure! My low moods are confusing me. :shrug:

xx