GAD plus My Wedding is resulting in a nightmare....

[Virgo1986]

Hi,

Firstly sorry for the long post :unsure:

So im new to all this, I have read a couple of things on here when Iv'e been having a bad day with my GAD but never actually posted, I'm hoping that someone has already been through this and can help me.

So just some quick background info. I'm a 27 YO female andd I pinpoint my anxiety starting when my mum go the all clear from cancer...7 years ago! I have had counselling which seemed to work but about 4 years ago the symptoms started up again and they have gradually got worse.
I went back to the Dr and after explaining how I felt she 'diagnosed' me with GAD, now i'm not even 100% sure that's what I have, I basically don't have panic attacks anymore but my whole life is one huge panic attack, the only time they stop is when I'm asleep. I trained to be a nurse a few years ago so unfortunately i have too much medical knowledge and keep diagnosing myself with everything, it seems to change every so often but currently I have convinced myself I either have Heart disease or lung cancer, I suffer from IBS so another problem for me is needing the toilet urgently. I no longer have palpitations etc but i get what i can only explain as flutters in my heart (which obviously makes me think I'm having a heart attack).

I always shy away from social situations and if I do go out I need to know where the toilets are as soon as i get there, as when my anxiety gets too much to handle I go straight to the toilet and try to compose myself.

Anyway I have gone off topic slightly, I am due to get married September 2015 and I am absolutely petrified that on the day I'm not going to be able to leave the house. We are having quite a big wedding (80) but they are all family and very close friends. I feel fine about the wedding reception but the church ceremony is what is making me panic, all I can think is what if i need the toilet? What if I faint? What if I have a panic attack?
I cannot wait to get married and was so happy when we got engaged but as it's nearing closer im starting to dread the whole thing.

Is there anyone out there with GAD/anxiety who has recently got married? How did you overcome the negative thoughts in your head on the day?

Any help is much appreciated :)

[cloudbusting]

Hiya Virgo

First of all, big congrats on your wedding ! If you are anything like I was when we got married almost four years ago the whole thing will be taking up all of your waking thoughts, entirely natural.

Well, we had a double whammy in that I get panic attacks and my husband suffers with social anxiety ! So we were both worried by what 'could' happen on the day during the lead up to the event.

And that's the key - what 'could' happen. Your wedding is still a long way off and already you are building yourself up into a tizz about the 'what ifs'. The day itself will pass by in a flash and it will be such a pity of you aren't 'present' for it as you will be feeling too nervous about what could happen on the day.

So, what to do ?

This is just me personally but I really think that you need to start practising some mindfulness techniques and also meditation. Up until a month or so ago I had done neither but they are really working for me now. You can find loads of stuff to get you started on You Tube, just have a look around and pick something that you feel comfortable with and that works for you.

With our wedding my poor husband worked himself up into a right lather about the ceremony. It was the thought of being 'on show' in front of so many people AND he thought that he wouldn't be allowed to have a drink to steady his nerves beforehand for some reason ! I said you'll probably be the only bridegroom on the planet who won't have had a drink before he says his vows if you do that ! So that made him feel a bit better.

I was like a bag of jelly waiting outside the doors. I remember saying to the attendant (we got married at a Town Hall) that I couldn't go in :scared15: but I did and I remember seeing my husband and all of our family and friends and it just went away as we concentrated on saying the vows.

Expect to feel nervous beforehand because everyone does but you will surprise yourself, I'm sure and it will all be well. Focus on the really important thing which is marrying someone you love and whatever else happens that day it's what comes afterwards that counts.

Much love to you x

Lisa x

[Virgo1986]

Hi Cloudbusting,

Thanks for your reply, it does make me feel slightly more at ease, if you guys can do it then hopefully my thoughts are just totally irrational and things will be fine on the day.

I know as soon as I see my fiancé at the church I'll be fine, it's just getting to the church :)

I'm hoping that on the day it will be that busy and I'll be that excited I won't have time to think about anything else but the wedding.

Thanks again, it's always nice to know you're not the only one with these irrational thoughts :D xx

[Lilharry]

Hey virgo. I managed to get married when I was suffering pretty severely from GAD and also agoraphobia. We had 80 guests and it was the church ceremony that terrified me the most also. I couldn't sleep the whole week leading up to the wedding, but on the day I woke up and felt cool as a cucumber. I can't explain it really. I was sucking on rescue remedy pastilles, so you could try those. During the ceremony I was totally fine and my huband was actually a lot more anxious than me! It was all over so quickly and we were married! I"m sure you will be just fine. If I could go back in time I would add meditation and yoga to the mix to help me get through it - something you could look at if you haven't already. Good luck!