My biggest problem is worrying about and understanding anxiety.

[LiveAboveIt]

I've noticed that I'm anxiety free when I'm not worrying ABOUT anxiety. Even things that give me anxiety like being in large crowds, flying, driving, etc.. They don't bother me NEAR as much as the actual fear OF anxiety does.

I'm trying to learn to let go, but sometimes my anxiety symptoms such as trouble breathing, tight chest and throat, rapid heartbeat, etc.. It all throws me off track. Knowledge is power and I would like to grow as a person and learn to understand anxiety more and figure out how to not fear the anxiety itself.. I need to learn to let go and not try to control it.

Does anyone have any books they could recommend that sound up my alley? I would very much appreciate any help. I think I'm ready.

[MrAndy]

http://www.anxietynomore.co.uk/at_last_a_life.html brilliant book

[LiveAboveIt]

Thanks, buddy. I appreciate it.

[phil6]

There are loads of books out there based on therapies like CBT, ACT etc.
There is always one theme which runs through every book or therapy.... And this theme is true and simple.
Anxiety disorders may start as a result of a particular stress but always end up as fear of the state you find yourself in. In other words your body becomes sensitised and flashes fear at the slightest trigger. The physical symptoms are many fold but the most important thing to understand is that they are all harmless.
You may have a feeling of fear and dread all day or panic attacks , but what keeps you sensitised is the fear of feeling the symptoms which can be intense.
And just as important is to understand that anxious thoughts are also symptoms.
So you feel awful and frightened, and your mind feeds you with stories of horror and dread.
So how are you keeping yourself in this state..... More fear! It is as simple as that. You feed the disorder with your fear and dislike of it.
So the main theme for recovery is losing the fear of the symptoms and thoughts.
There are loads of books and therapies which may vary in the method but that is the aim.
Let me put it this way. If you didn't worry or care about how you are feeling now, and are happy to allow the feelings whilst carrying on as normal, you would recover. The body will calm and the feelings and associated thoughts would subside, but not necessarily immediately. You have to allow time.
This is the hard bit... It is simple, but not easy because the feelings are convincing. But they are a bluff. And if you manage to truly ACCEPT, then remember that once you start wanting it all to go away, or become impatient, then you are back in the disorder and fuelling the anxiety again. Tricky isn't it!
Phil

[Cupcakeboutique1]

Amazing reply phil, xx

[LiveAboveIt]

There are loads of books out there based on therapies like CBT, ACT etc.
There is always one theme which runs through every book or therapy.... And this theme is true and simple.
Anxiety disorders may start as a result of a particular stress but always end up as fear of the state you find yourself in. In other words your body becomes sensitised and flashes fear at the slightest trigger. The physical symptoms are many fold but the most important thing to understand is that they are all harmless.
You may have a feeling of fear and dread all day or panic attacks , but what keeps you sensitised is the fear of feeling the symptoms which can be intense.
And just as important is to understand that anxious thoughts are also symptoms.
So you feel awful and frightened, and your mind feeds you with stories of horror and dread.
So how are you keeping yourself in this state..... More fear! It is as simple as that. You feed the disorder with your fear and dislike of it.
So the main theme for recovery is losing the fear of the symptoms and thoughts.
There are loads of books and therapies which may vary in the method but that is the aim.
Let me put it this way. If you didn't worry or care about how you are feeling now, and are happy to allow the feelings whilst carrying on as normal, you would recover. The body will calm and the feelings and associated thoughts would subside, but not necessarily immediately. You have to allow time.
This is the hard bit... It is simple, but not easy because the feelings are convincing. But they are a bluff. And if you manage to truly ACCEPT, then remember that once you start wanting it all to go away, or become impatient, then you are back in the disorder and fuelling the anxiety again. Tricky isn't it!
Phil

Thanks a ton, Phil. I'll be saving what you wrote so I can look back on it if I start having trouble with anxiety again. I couldn't have said it any better myself.
You answered every question that I had about the anxiety. What it is, why it stays, what makes it worse, and how to get rid of it.
Where did you learn all of that? Thanks again, man. It really helps.

[LiveAboveIt]

It definitely isn't an overnight process. I'm trying to not focus on the symptoms and realize that I need to not fear the anxiety. I'm getting better at it everyday, but the damn symptoms distract me and end up making me worry about them.. So I have to pull myself back to understanding and acceptance. Constant game of tug-o-war. It IS getting easier, though.

[xrachykinsx]

I'm the same as you! This has been the only reason I feel anxious at all... the fear of feeling anxious.. you become almost obsessed with how you feel constantly..it's starting to ease up now..mainly because I decided to accept how I feel xx

[wabbit1]

I can relate to what you mean. I get more wound up by how I'm going to react in a situation than I do by the situation. I'm so sure that I'm going to make an idiot of myself by obviously shaking or stuttering or sweating madly.

[LiveAboveIt]

Exactly. I'm having a difficult time "accepting" the anxiety for what it is and moving in. Not sure why it won't just click in my head.

[davidthegnome]

It's like a never ending cycle, isn't it? I find that, for me, for a good while, everything will be better. The anxiety won't be too bad, the panic attacks go away... then, suddenly, boom, there it is again. The ugly villain, my greatest enemy.

This is a problem a lot of us have, myself included... the fear of anxiety, the worry about anxiety. If we could just understand it better! Then we could fix it! Couldn't we?

All the books I've read, the experiences I've had, the people I've spoken with... never have I come up with a real answer to that question. Other than perhaps that the human mind is something so complex that it is almost impossible to truly understand - and that is the task you're dealing with when trying to understand anxiety. Something that make brilliant minds like Darwin and Enstein throw up their hands in frustration.

I'm not sure it's possible to really understand it and I'm not sure I'd want to understand it if it was. As hard as it is, I think acceptance is the key to moving on. To accept what we're feeling and to keep moving, keep living anyway. In time it will pass - and every good moment will be greater for it will be that much more appreciated.

None of this solves the immediate problem, but remember that this too shall pass. The cycle of anxiety and fear of anxiety can't last forever for the simple reason that the human mind is always changing, always adapting - and the human will, the heart, the spirit, are even stronger, perhaps, than the human mind.

Whatever comes of this anxiety, it helps me to remember that we are more than it. It is a good thing to be curious, to want to know how things work - a lot of the world's greatest accomplishments were made because of this simple thing. Some times though, it can be overdone. If you add 2 and 2, then 4 and 4, then 8 and 8... and keep going, all the way into the billions or trillions... what is the end result? Most likely, a head ache.

[phil6]

David,
Great post !
It is truly all about losing your fear of the sensations and learning to accept the thoughts that go along with the feelings. The hardest step for me is holding on to a few truths when anxious.
1. That it will pass, it's a transient, although uncomfortable experience.
2. That I don't need to do anything about it as any attempts at control is counter productive.
3. Understanding that the mind will struggle to come to terms with number 1 & 2 as it always wants reassurance and a solution.
The solution is the problem!!

[Lisa.w1979]

Have you read the cbt4panic books? There is a link on the panic attack page to download for free for nmp members. I've found it a great help in understanding why my body reacts the way it does, and it explains exactly what happens and why. It says what Phil says, that ours bodies mistakenly release adrenaline, whether you feel anxious or not, and the feeling scares us so our bodies release more adrenaline to help us when all it does it cause scary symptoms. I'll find and post the link for anyone who hasn't seen it. X

---------- Post added at 09:44 ---------- Previous post was at 09:37 ----------

here's the link

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=131665

xxx

[Tanner40]

Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway by Dr. Susan Jeffers. Great book that has helped me with anticipatory anxiety. Give it a go.

[LiveAboveIt]

The lot of you have no idea how much you're helping me through this anxiety loop that I'm stuck inside of. I've been having a hard time thinking positively and have been making the mistake of fueling my anxiety with fear.. Reading what you guys wrote is very inspiring and often grounds me, makes life and the anxiety much easier to manage and cope with. So thank you.

Here's to the road to recovery! :D

---------- Post added at 13:09 ---------- Previous post was at 13:04 ----------


Have you read the cbt4panic books? There is a link on the panic attack page to download for free for nmp members. I've found it a great help in understanding why my body reacts the way it does, and it explains exactly what happens and why. It says what Phil says, that ours bodies mistakenly release adrenaline, whether you feel anxious or not, and the feeling scares us so our bodies release more adrenaline to help us when all it does it cause scary symptoms. I'll find and post the link for anyone who hasn't seen it. X

---------- Post added at 09:44 ---------- Previous post was at 09:37 ----------

here's the link

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=131665

xxx

Thank you! Will be reading it later today. :)

[Fishmanpa]

I've noticed that I'm anxiety free when I'm not worrying ABOUT anxiety. Even things that give me anxiety like being in large crowds, flying, driving, etc.. They don't bother me NEAR as much as the actual fear OF anxiety does.

I'm trying to learn to let go, but sometimes my anxiety symptoms such as trouble breathing, tight chest and throat, rapid heartbeat, etc.. It all throws me off track. Knowledge is power and I would like to grow as a person and learn to understand anxiety more and figure out how to not fear the anxiety itself.. I need to learn to let go and not try to control it.

Does anyone have any books they could recommend that sound up my alley? I would very much appreciate any help. I think I'm ready.


Understanding anxiety starts with understanding why your body reacts a certain way and the physiological responses to stress and perceived danger. There's some really good info in the free CBT course offered here.

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=131665

Also, this is just a theory on my part. I believe we are creatures of habit and as uncomfortable and challenging it is to deal with anxiety, I believe those that suffer from it for any length of time grow accustomed to it.

I equate it to a co-dependent relationship. A person can be in an abusive relationship and stay because they're comfortable and it's become a constant even if the constant is negative.

After my divorce I dated a lot. However, I always found I would end up being with someone who had similar type issues as my ex. When I was in therapy after my first heart attack, the subject came up. My therapist said that we seek out those that give us a comfortable and familiar feeling. I asked how I would know this without even asking. He said there are subconscious cues that we pick up on. I found that to be very enlightening.

So, in order to stop that from happening, I had to break the pattern. Not unlike what one must do with behaviors associated with anxiety. When I met someone I liked or was attracted to, I made it a point to bring up the subject of mental health. And if they had issues, as hard as it was (why is it that "hot" and "issues" always seem to go together? ;) ), I walked away. It just wasn't good for me.

Now don't take that the wrong way, I'm not saying for men to avoid women with issues. God knows men are just as prone to the same things and I'm sure there are women who feel the same way. I'm just relating what I did to stop myself from getting involved in a situation that invariably wasn't good for me.

So... knowing the physiological reasons behind the symptoms and why your body reacts, learning what the patterns that are keeping you in the rut and changing them are ways to understand and beat anxiety. Knowledge truly is power.

Positive thoughts

[Lisa.w1979]

Beat you to the link FMP :-p Great minds think alike and all that.

LAI...how you getting on with the ebooks? xx