View Full Version : Why can't I stop googling?
My health anxiety is very well under control. I have felt very well mentally lately. I no longer look for assurance from friends or family or on here. I am
proud of myself because I had a constant headache for almost 2 weeks didn't realize I had a sinus infection. Anyway I was supposed give up googling for lent and I am still doing it. I don't panic and sometimes even get a chuckle when I look up a simple common symptom and it tells me I am going to die. So the questions I am left with are why am I doing this still and why on Earth can't I stop? I thought for sure being a devote catholic if I gave it up for lent I wouldn't do it but I am. Now I feel horribly guilty as well. Anyone have any insight?
I guess it's turned into a compulsive thing for you.
I beat my googling by noticing that's it leaves me with more questions than answers, I'd be dead if I had everything it told me I had :rolfmao:
Don't beat yourself up over it, it'll leave in time, just keep laughing :)
Thank you for responding luna :) I hope you are right that it will stop in time. Maybe I'll get bored with it.
Catherine S
22-03-14, 00:23
The main thing is that you can have a giggle about what you read so its obviously not affecting your anxiety any longer. Its probably just a left over habit. I think a lot of us have this guilty secret even as we recover. Google seems to call us haha! Its how it makes us feel that's important I guess.
MyNameIsTerry
22-03-14, 01:36
How did you stop seeking reassurance from your friends & family? Im just wondering if you did more than say "Im giving this up" because that must have been hard.
Dont feel guilty, its not a failure, its just another blip that you will resolve given time.
CBT is pretty good for obsessive thinking & compulsions as you try to work on changing your thoughts and how you react. Have you tried any of this?
Yes I do CBT exercises. Something changed Terry. I think the CBT exercises made the world of difference! I got them from a book. It was one of the steps in the book to stop asking others for reassurance. I told the people I sought it from the most to not give me reassurance and they didn't was I slipped a few times. I started to get angry with my anxiety. I decided I was more afraid of living a life filled with fear than to actually get a disease and die.
MyNameIsTerry
22-03-14, 02:18
Thats a very important step you took in deciding that being anxious is worse than that. Lots of courage required to do that!
Is it possible that you could use techniques to stop you reacting to a compulsion to check Google i.e. recognise the compulsion but instead of doing it, do something else that requires your focus until the compulsion recedes?
Ive got OCD so I know this may seem alien at first. For me, it seems illogical not to follow the ritual. Ive found it is a matter of little steps that add up.
Yeah I've tried postponing and distraction. Actually when I was in therapy (I saw 2 therapists they did nothing but steal my money) both said I don't have an anxiety disorder but OCD tendancies. Not full blown OCD. Seems like I teeter in the edge of disorders but don't quite go all the way over. Same thing with depression I feel like I could fall down the hole but I haven't seem to yet, I just get close to the edge. Thank you for your kind words. I really feel like I should be able to this.
MyNameIsTerry
22-03-14, 02:41
Well there are several types of OCD. You can have the O&C or just the O or just the C.
Literature commonly states that you do the ritual to feel better and if you dont, you feel worse. But mine is the opposite way around, I feel worse for doing the ritual.
I know what you mean because Ive got GAD and Ive got aspects of SA and even agoraphobia when I hit rock bottom.
With your friends & family, you could take steps to put a barrier up by getting them to no longer engage with you over those issues. I guess the equivalent for Google would be to remove it from your reach somehow but Im not sure how as I would have been saying what you tried.
Ive been amused by how being logical in doing what its telling me, just isnt logical. I think thats why its so hard for anyone to understand it.
Just a thought, are there any trigger events that you can see. I know with my OCD, its an ruled by my GAD so it gets worse when my GAD does. For me, Ive had to work on OCD indirectly by trying to relax to reduce the strength of my GAD.
Hello friend,
First let me say I love google, well let me say actually that I love technology and the Internet I'm actually a computer tech guy that just loves everything computer or electronic.
There have been times where this has been difficult for me to stop doing HOWEVER I find myself at the computer hitting g double o l en .com and I stop myself right at the prompt I'll say "ok this is stupid, you know searching for chest pain, left side, ribs is asking for trouble. Trouble that will make you have a bad night or a bad morning.." So then I type in something I'm passionate about instead. Like new cellphones for 2014 or best audio receivers for home theaters. I like to grow veggies so I'll toss in a few search like growing tomatoes in containers or how to ferment your food.
See you satisfy the habit by searching and you distract yourself by looking up interesting stuff.
You said you are Catholic, so how about things like. "How to succeed with lent, Catholic inspirational stories, how to keep a clear mind as a catholic, etc etc.
This is how I've overcome my bad Google habit eventually you just don't care what Google has to say anymore about your health.
That's interesting terry now that you mention it I do tend to google more when stressed. The trigger for me is any pain any mole any symptom I need to know the worst case senirio it's like I always need to be prepared for the worst.
Mbarger thank you for the suggestion I am going to give this a try. I want to make a garden with my kids maybe I will start looking up gardening tips.
Perfect! Look up raised garden beds on Google or youtube.. how to start things from seeds, how to plant a hummingbird garden and attract butterflies too.
It honestly helps, replace symptoms with ideas and hopes learn something instead of fear.. frankly I got sick and tired of thinking I was always terminally ill and dying. Then being told by real doctors that.
No your heart is just fine.
No you don't have high cholesterol.
No you don't have blockages.
No palpitations won't kill you
No you don't have liver cancer
No you don't pancreatic cancer.
No you don't have kidney failure.
No you don't have oral cancer.
And no you don't have colon cancer.
Because according to Google I had ALL of those.. it's a very tiring mental place to be.. so now since there's never ending ways to learn on the Internet I choose when I'm tempted to google a sore throat or twitching eye to choose something I'm interested in learning or finding something new out.. that doesn't involve my doom!
:whistles:
MyNameIsTerry
22-03-14, 04:46
Ah, that makes sense to me because thats how mine escalates, just in different ways.
Doesn't it make sense though? If you were relaxed and had a more casual attitude to things, you wouldn't react that way. Anxiety makes you look for a way to protect yourself and one possible way is to determine what the problem is so you can deal with it. It's just that it's focussing on the really bad possibilities.
I know this because I never really had OCD until about 3 years ago (GAD for 7) and I found it quite distressing plus it definately kept my anxiety cycle going. I went for CBT and it worked for some rituals but not for the ones that were the strongest, which just reduced a bit. I found out that my underlying anxiety from the GAD was preventig me from phasing out these difficult rituals. So, I looked towards tackling the GAD, which is still a big problem for me, and by using techniques to make me care less about problems and switch off, my GAD would reduce which in turn reduced those problem rituals.
I've still got them, but they are far less powerful now and perhaps if I tackle them like I did the others, they will reduce further.
It makes sense to me. I used to attend a self help group and there was a guy there who was always checking if he had locked his front door. He tried various things but couldn't stop himself. He also had GAD and it seemed to me that because he was so anxious through that (e.g. going out to activities or meeting people masy make him anxious) that the GAD had already made him worse before he came to lock the front door and the result would be quite predictable.
So, if something isn't working, see if you can indirectly hit it by tackling another problem. I find OCD to be a lack of trust & confidence in myself so it's possible it may help by increasing self esteem.
Since it's when you are more stressed, could you do some Mindfulness meditation? Perhaps it will calm you down and re-focus your mind? By the time you finish it, you might feel stronger? Maybe if you did it enough, it would break the link between finding something and the compulsion to search for it?
And failing that...do you get Father Ted in the US? He couldn't quit smoking for lent, Father Dougal couldn't quit rollerblading and Father Jack couldn't quit drinking...so they ordered a nun for help who spent her time giving them ice baths and beds of bricks!!! Just a light hearted moment there.
All the best.
T
mummyanxious
22-03-14, 08:17
I don't google. I used to years ago when I was younger and I know how awful it made me feel. So I simply don't do it. How about when you feel the urge, google something random instead. Like er blue flowers or pink horses? :)
See I didn't know that you could attract butterflies my kids would love that :) I think I know enough about unusual diseases. It's time to become an expert in something else now :) it's good to know even priests don't always follow through. Maybe someone should give me an ice bath I would never google again :) mummy I'll look up pink horses in a field of blue flowers :)
mummyanxious
22-03-14, 11:02
My daughter would love pink horses in a field of blue flowers! So it sounds like a good plan ;)
Catherine S
22-03-14, 16:37
That's actually a very good point mbarger...makes you wonder how many people join nmp to ask about symptoms they've read up about on Dr. Google. They feel something 'not quite right' in a certain part of their body, Google it, scare themselves silly then join the forum to ask about it :D
That's not why I joined. I felt relieved I found other people that suffered like me. I'm starting to think I was wrong.
Catherine S
22-03-14, 16:56
RoseEve, you seem to think everybody is having a pop at you, but why? Don't take everything so personally...chill :D
ISB what you wrote has no connection to what's been going on? If it doesn't then I apologize.
Catherine S
22-03-14, 17:12
That's OK, I was just agreeing with the point mbarger was making about the negative side of Googling symptoms. The positive side of it is great...I like to look up the recipes...and....info on how to get rid of flip pin ants is always useful too!
Ok sorry I'm just getting oversensative :winks:
I decided not to google health related things about 3wks ago as I realised I was getting caught in a vicious circle. I've been having a few (what 'I' perceive to be) heart related issues, high bp, pins and needles in hands and feet, chest pain etc and I know if I google it will tell me to go straight to A&E or something. Actually I'm pretty certain it's down to stress or HA and will pass in a couple of weeks but I'm really pleased with myself for not googling.
The worst thing about Dr Google for me is that it has given me an unwanted insight to various diseases, some of which I'd never even heard of which have stuck in my head when infact if I hadn't read them I would still be blissfully unaware.
I guess for me it's given me far too much knowledge on illnesses that I don't need to know about. Oh and. My husband has banned me haha!!!!
I hope you find a solution RoseEve, don't beat yourself up about it if you give in to it from time to time. X
Thanks 3tikes. You are right about having too much information. For example I never knew ALS exsisted. It's awesome you stopped. I'm trying to just cut down for now. I only did it once today which is good for me.
MyNameIsTerry
23-03-14, 01:11
Its a bit like talking to a doctor in some respects.
For instance, my dad & brother both had minor lump/node issue and upon having tests they had to be made aware of all possible outcomes which included cancer and possible death...but it was followed by the doctor explaining that its only a possibility and they have to inform you. The result was a fair bit of "what if" worrying until the results came back. Neither of them suffer from anxiety issues but still were very worried.
So, I can only imagine how someone with HA would respond upon getting the same best-to-worst case scenario from searches.
I feel like I focus on the worst case scenario. Not only will I have cancer but surely I will die. I'm starting to understand though that google is not a doctor. Im trying to stay positive and look at the good part. There is really only one good part to obsessively researching diseases is that in a weird perverse way I'm really well versed on medical issues. My friends and co workers ask me for medical advice. It's a boost to my self esteem at least :)
MyNameIsTerry
23-03-14, 04:35
Yeah, it does go that way...you end up the go to person!
Well done for cutting it down today. Thats something to remember!
Have you been feeling less anxious so you've been able to stop yourself or not felt the need to as much? If so, perhaps bringing down the anxiety levels will allow you to challenge it later.
Terry I totally googled quite a bit last night so no need to congratulate me :weep:
---------- Post added at 10:36 ---------- Previous post was at 10:33 ----------
Today is a new day I am going to try to go the whole day without doing it. I've gone like almost 2 weeks before. It's worse I think when I don't feel well physically. I have a pain I must look it up.
Google really is the devil!
I stopped googling and it broke down the vicious cycle and gave me reprieve.
Its probably the kindest thing you can do for your anxiety.
TooMuchToLiveFor
23-03-14, 11:44
Good morning, RoseEve. :)
I can't remember if I posted this to you earlier, so forgive me if it's a repeat….., but what about instilling a "12 step program" to your "Google-addiction?" I'm sure you can find the details of a 12 step program online…..and between that and focusing on their mantra of just conquering one day/moment at a time…..you might find you are able to stretch out longer and longer periods of time without searching. If it can work for alcohol and drugs I bet it might be helpful for this addiction too. You can always tell yourself…..okay, I can Google this in an hour, just not right now. And, when that hour is up- see if you can extend it again. Think of it more as postponing it, rather than banning it.
Also, when looking for random things to Google that are healthy….hours and hours can be lost on Pinterest. Make up boards for your kiddos' birthdays, holidays, recipes, etc. Etsy is another good one, and so is houzz.com.
Hope that helps! Don't be too hard on yourself! Just keep putting one foot in front of the other-- you can do this!
TooMuch yes I have actually used some if the 12 step methods. Some pieces don't fit like apologizing to people. Some of it does work. I have cut down A Lot. I used to downs hours and hours literally. Now I only spend minutes. So there has been big improvement. Pinterest overwhelmes me I don't know why. I spend a lot of time on Facebook too. That's probably not healthy either because everyone's life seems so perfect on there.
TooMuchToLiveFor
23-03-14, 11:58
Well, I know you want to keep moving forward, but try to focus on how wonderfully you are doing…..you have already eliminated it so much!
Remember- FB is primarily the snapshots of peoples' lives that they want you to see. Of course, you know this, but it is easy to forget that sometimes when we are in a rough storm.
I hope today you have some special moments of joy- whether it is from your children, something in creation, or just an inner peace. Sending you a hug from Kansas. :hugs:
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