weplant
21-03-14, 20:51
I found this site about a week ago and have been posting. Everyone is truly amazing.
I am a young 60 year old female. I have suffered from anxiety/panic attacks all my life, but managed to live a active, productive life. There was always certain places that made me uncomfortable (concerts, etc.).
In my 40's , my 11 year old son was hit and killed by a speeding driver. My world collapsed. I virtually lived in the fetal position in hysterical crying for 1 year..then my husband and I started a business in his memory..DJ's Growing Place (DJ for dustin James, it is a plant nursery)..That definitely saved my life..I cried everyday, but was doing something productive..I went thru all the anger, the hate, the why's (that can make you crazy)..I began to isolate the feelings, because they were to painful..I hated everyone and everything around me that was feeling joy...Over the years I endured..Worked very hard at the nursery and reached out to others that may have lost a child...I was still having my anxiety/panic attacks, called the ambulance at least 5 times, was sure I was dying..But, the next day I iwas back at work and getting by...about 1 1/2 years ago, my mom got unexpected ill and passed..I was with here while she was dying (did I mention, she was truly my best friend). It was horrible..I had never seen anyone die before. I did not see my son after he was killed..I feel I snapped at this point and realized that my son really died..Since then, I am pretty much housebound. The anxiety has turned into 24/7 fear/panic. I feel ill all the time. Dizzy, chest pains, weak, disconnected, i am going to faint, just going to die..I feel bad at home, but it gets worse when I go out.I have let this go on to long, so now it is harder and harder to leave the house. I have not been at the nursery for 1 year, my husband is having to take on the extra work load. I don't feel like it is in my head. It is so physical. I also feel the physcial symptoms first and then the thoughts come to my mind..I am like this the moment I wake up..I am now seeing a therapist and a pshyciatrist. I have just started low dose citalopram and having a very hard time with it...Thats it in a nutshell..So happy to be here and feel like I have a new circle of friends...debbie
I am a young 60 year old female. I have suffered from anxiety/panic attacks all my life, but managed to live a active, productive life. There was always certain places that made me uncomfortable (concerts, etc.).
In my 40's , my 11 year old son was hit and killed by a speeding driver. My world collapsed. I virtually lived in the fetal position in hysterical crying for 1 year..then my husband and I started a business in his memory..DJ's Growing Place (DJ for dustin James, it is a plant nursery)..That definitely saved my life..I cried everyday, but was doing something productive..I went thru all the anger, the hate, the why's (that can make you crazy)..I began to isolate the feelings, because they were to painful..I hated everyone and everything around me that was feeling joy...Over the years I endured..Worked very hard at the nursery and reached out to others that may have lost a child...I was still having my anxiety/panic attacks, called the ambulance at least 5 times, was sure I was dying..But, the next day I iwas back at work and getting by...about 1 1/2 years ago, my mom got unexpected ill and passed..I was with here while she was dying (did I mention, she was truly my best friend). It was horrible..I had never seen anyone die before. I did not see my son after he was killed..I feel I snapped at this point and realized that my son really died..Since then, I am pretty much housebound. The anxiety has turned into 24/7 fear/panic. I feel ill all the time. Dizzy, chest pains, weak, disconnected, i am going to faint, just going to die..I feel bad at home, but it gets worse when I go out.I have let this go on to long, so now it is harder and harder to leave the house. I have not been at the nursery for 1 year, my husband is having to take on the extra work load. I don't feel like it is in my head. It is so physical. I also feel the physcial symptoms first and then the thoughts come to my mind..I am like this the moment I wake up..I am now seeing a therapist and a pshyciatrist. I have just started low dose citalopram and having a very hard time with it...Thats it in a nutshell..So happy to be here and feel like I have a new circle of friends...debbie