View Full Version : Disappointed in myself, having a blip. :(
Started last night can't even bring myself to divulge Bout they whys and wherefores.
But I started to prod and poke again. And today has resulted in symptoms returning, lots of numbness in hands, pins and needles, vision has worsened, stomach pain, lose bm back, just want to shout out loud, out of frustration. So annoyed with myself.
Don't get annoyed - ride it out - do what you did before and push on. Blips are to be expected but the great thing is acknowledging it as a blip. Even that is progress.
Shout out loud then, go on I dare you:shades:
TooMuchToLiveFor
22-03-14, 19:27
KLP! Me too!!
Not the poking and prodding part cause I don't deal with HA, but felt the terrible symptoms and feelings of panic/anx/dep started rising last night- and today I am at war with the dragon again.
Okay- so, don't be hard on yourself….you have been doing really well, and you will weather this and come forth as gold.
I know it is late evening there….what are you doing tonight to find some clarity and focus elsewhere? Is your kiddo already asleep?
I am trying to forge through some projects with this spinny, thick, achy brain of mine, but will check back here often to check in on you.
XXX!
Thanks guys.
I knew I could lean on you x I'm standing strong even though my husband can see I'm in a daze about it.
Is there anything nice you and your husband can do tonight? Me and my wife are about to head out for some fine dining fare at a local restaurant followed by a bottle of red at a cocktail bar in the village.
Why don't you chill with a film and a glass of wine - be with your anxiety for a bit rather than fighting it. It tend to find that anxious feelings get bored after a while when I don't pay them too much attention.
KLP! Me too!!
Not the poking and prodding part cause I don't deal with HA, but felt the terrible symptoms and feelings of panic/anx/dep started rising last night- and today I am at war with the dragon again.
Okay- so, don't be hard on yourself….you have been doing really well, and you will weather this and come forth as gold.
I know it is late evening there….what are you doing tonight to find some clarity and focus elsewhere? Is your kiddo already asleep?
I am trying to forge through some projects with this spinny, thick, achy brain of mine, but will check back here often to check in on you.
XXX!
TMT
I'm in a gig. So the guys in the band are drawing my attention away to some degree.
I feel for you too. What's the deal with the your medication??
My aim tomorrow is to live life... Crack on with my list of task and hope that this is something small I can overcome.
As I'm typing this my finger is numb!!!!! Arrrrrrggghhh!
---------- Post added at 19:46 ---------- Previous post was at 19:37 ----------
Is there anything nice you and your husband can do tonight? Me and my wife are about to head out for some fine dining fare at a local restaurant followed by a bottle of red at a cocktail bar in the village.
Why don't you chill with a film and a glass of wine - be with your anxiety for a bit rather than fighting it. It tend to find that anxious feelings get bored after a while when I don't pay them too much attention.
I'm putting your quote into play 'live life'. Floating the sensations....
If only I could go out for a lovely meal with hubby. Instead I'm playing for 300 who are having a lovely meal, just band sandwiches I'm afraid. X
---------- Post added at 19:52 ---------- Previous post was at 19:46 ----------
Shout out loud then, go on I dare you:shades:
I'll get the shouting out on this gig!!!! :scared11:
Is your kiddo already asleep?
I am trying to forge through some projects with this spinny, thick, achy brain of mine, but will check back here often to check in on you.
XXX!
My little ones at home baby with my niece babysitting it's 20:00 here so hopefully he's fast asleep!
Your a sweetie! Let's ride the dragon like a cowboy on a buffalo!!
What projects are you injecting yourself into?
TooMuchToLiveFor
22-03-14, 20:20
LOL!!! You and I think alike WAY too much!!! I have been mulling over starting a thread likening the fight against anxiety to riding a mechanical bull. You know it's not a real bull with horns that can actually kill you-- but it can throw you over, and over, and over again- leaving you very beat up and battered. Hilarious that you just mentioned "riding the dragon like a cowboy on a buffalo!" :roflmao:
That's a nice sized gig, K! Is it a wedding or corporate?
Just so you know- I have had crazy vision issues and numbness today…..gotta love those tricky, little dragons! My lips actually went numb for awhile…..You poor things fighting HA- it has to be just terrible with all the physical symptoms! I KNOW I am dealing with anxiety, and I still find myself having to capture some stray thoughts that start "what iff-ing."
My baby girl (who is most always an easy, easy angel) has a tooth that is tormenting her, and has barely slept or let me put her down for two days- she is currently sleeping though (*quiet, little, happy dance!*), and my little man is watching "Despicable Me 2." I am trying to bust through the "normal" housework, and then am going to work with the hubby on cleaning out storage and garage. Then, this evening I am going to set aside some time for a fun project- I am finally going to start working on baby books for my two kiddos. I am also planning on cooking a bunch of food for the coming week, and getting ready for a family dinner I am having here tomorrow. Praying my one, sweet brother is dry and sober as he is supposed to be here.
As I have been recovering from my recent BIG BLIP (yes, it has to be capitalized) I think the bitty-blip I was/am having today is due to the stress of the family situations around my brother and my parents' health. I am going to look at my "tool-box" tonight, too, and see what weapons need to be cleaned and ready for the coming week.
Lol- sorry for the long post. I get to visiting with you, KLP, and act as if we are on the phone having a conversation instead of remembering you are going to have to actually read through all this.
Enjoy every note you belt out tonight….I miss gigging terribly. And, tomorrow- you are going to conquer each moment.
You've just made me laugh, having retread my post calling it a buffalo I stead of bull!!
Can I encourage you to start the thread.?
Maybe the it's the singer/dancer that we think alike?
It's a corporate tonight!!! Pretty easy this evening.
My lips has been numb today too !
Are your babies feeling better now ??
I like the long posts ....... Good to catch up. You should return to gigging it in your blood. A great outlet I must say. X
Sorry to hear your having a bad time KLP, and you TooMuch!
I've had a pretty bad couple of days as well, my jaw aches and pains have got considerably worse, my neck and ears hurt, also I seem to be getting that old lonely feeling back with a little added brain fog.
KLP- I can't really say anything more than what the others have said, but I just thought I would say that we are all here for you and judging by the word 'blip' in the title you know this will pass. Don't let it stay any longer than it has too :)
Stay strong, maybe have a nice relaxing day tomorrow to recharge those batteries of yours :)
Sorry to hear your having a bad time KLP, and you TooMuch!
I've had a pretty bad couple of days as well, my jaw aches and pains have got considerably worse, my neck and ears hurt, also I seem to be getting that old lonely feeling back with a little added brain fog.
KLP- I can't really say anything more than what the others have said, but I just thought I would say that we are all here for you and judging by the word 'blip' in the title you know this will pass. Don't let it stay any longer than it has too :)
Stay strong, maybe have a nice relaxing day tomorrow to recharge those batteries of yours :)
Thanks x
We were all doing so well!!!!!! Argh!
It's really hard to sing on such a dry mouth, just always a constant reminder.
I'm hoping tomorrow will be better.
I'll drop by tomorrow.
Lastly I dislike typing on my iPhone
My personal view is that all of you are discussing your 'blips' in the sense that they are anxiety driven. Also the word blip is temporary by nature.
To me you all seem to be doing fine just having a hiccup. If it is any consolation I have been obsessing this week about an increase in floaters in my left eye. It happens we have moments.
My other opinion is that tackling mental health is incredibly tough as it is so individual and intangible. You all sound like you are tackling it head on which is phenomenally impressive. Acknowledge the bumps but know tomorrow is another day and you will clobber them in the morning.
Without wanting to sound patronising and as a true Yorkshireman would say you should be dead chuffed with how far you have come :)
PS my dinner was sensational!
TooMuchToLiveFor
23-03-14, 00:14
My personal view is that all of you are discussing your 'blips' in the sense that they are anxiety driven. Also the word blip is temporary by nature.
To me you all seem to be doing fine just having a hiccup. If it is any consolation I have been obsessing this week about an increase in floaters in my left eye. It happens we have moments.
My other opinion is that tackling mental health is incredibly tough as it is so individual and intangible. You all sound like you are tackling it head on which is phenomenally impressive. Acknowledge the bumps but know tomorrow is another day and you will clobber them in the morning.
Without wanting to sound patronising and as a true Yorkshireman would say you should be dead chuffed with how far you have come :)
PS my dinner was sensational!
CPE- On behalf of the three of us-- THANK YOU! Your post really pumped me up! Alright, guys, onward and upward. I am personally so very proud of all of us!
Ok well you have three of you on this thread now. Why don't you use this thread to push and support one another?
I am so full of admiration of people who do what you are doing. It is so tough but also not terminal and entirely attainable.
Right I am off to bed. Too much food and red wine. Time for sleep ;)
TooMuchToLiveFor
23-03-14, 01:13
LOL--- and I am SOOOO JEALOUS of your red wine…. It's a dang trigger for my panic attacks!!!
Glad you had a great evening with your wife. Dating your spouse is one of the greatest gifts you can give your marriage (and a wonderful example for your children!)!
Thanks, again,…..we're all just doing our best! But, it does feel good to know we're doing our best! Appreciate your encouragement very, very much!
Team us. I like it! Xx (remember others klp!! Stop being self centred)
Chris I think your statement is ore inspiring. How can someone say so little but hit the nail on the head?
Big up to you (sounds street, right?)
Street is good. Especially when I live in the place which could not be less 'street'. (Last of the summer wine was made here).
TooMuchToLiveFor
23-03-14, 01:33
LOL!!! I live in a little subdivision, in a little suburb, in KANSAS! I am definitely FAR from street! (But, I sure like to pretend I have some cool, urban streaks.)
Being others centered really does help as a preventative measure, doesn't it?
Chris you country bumpkin! I'm north east based originally a Portsmouth chick!!
Sounds like it's just me being street (not ghetto though) urban chic.
I think Luna is also rural?
Apologises for the constant typo errors. Typing on iPhone and having numb fingers doesn't help!!!
Have peace within folks, off to see the land zzz'ds see you on our bright new day x
Hi KLP, I see the others have helped you out here, but I just wanted to say keep going, you're stronger than you think you are, a blip doesn't mean that you'll go all the way back.
One of my biggest worries in the past was that I'd go back to that bad anxious state, but now after so much hard work I kind if know it's not possible. I know too much about the nature of anxiety and how to work with it to ever go back to a bad anxious state again. You are the same - you know too much now, you have many tools to help you out. Sometimes we get temporarily frozen if we feel anxious, but if you push yourself you'll find you can get moving again.
So, stay strong! :) x
Chris you country bumpkin! I'm north east based originally a Portsmouth chick!!
Sounds like it's just me being street (not ghetto though) urban chic.
I think Luna is also rural?
Apologises for the constant typo errors. Typing on iPhone and having numb fingers doesn't help!!!
Have peace within folks, off to see the land zzz'ds see you on our bright new day x
Ahh Pompey, my brother lives in Southsea.
How are you three doing this morning? It is a stunning day here today!
Hi KLP, I see the others have helped you out here, but I just wanted to say keep going, you're stronger than you think you are, a blip doesn't mean that you'll go all the way back.
One of my biggest worries in the past was that I'd go back to that bad anxious state, but now after so much hard work I kind if know it's not possible. I know too much about the nature of anxiety and how to work with it to ever go back to a bad anxious state again. You are the same - you know too much now, you have many tools to help you out. Sometimes we get temporarily frozen if we feel anxious, but if you push yourself you'll find you can get moving again.
So, stay strong! :) x
Thanks for adding your support I really appreciate it.
My tools today are my swimming costume and mascara, not together, later this evening my tools will be the cooking pot and the sewing machine.
Back off anxiety my mascara can be harmful.
I'm feeling a wee bit better today, still numbness galore tips of fingers and tongue, don't like the tongue being numb, feels weird.
Why is it the parts of the body that are most used numb, why can it be your elbow or shoulder blade or even hips?
Fell a bit :wacko: today...
I think Luna is also rural?
Yes, I'm in a small town around 10 minutes from the sea in Devon :)
I need some motivation today, it's 2pm and I'm not even dressed..
Good to see your a little better today, have fun swimming! (If that's what the costuma is for)
Hi KLP,
I've seen you mention playing in a band a few times. What kind of stuff do you do?
That has to be good for you as well concerning HA. A great distraction. There are times when I'm playing and practicing that I barely notice the physical stuff I deal with ;) Music is good for the soul, mind and the body.
I've read though this thread and I agree with what others are saying that you're a lot stronger than you think and will put this behind you in no time :)
Positive thoughts
Everything is going to be ok. Everything is going to be ok. They are the words that keep some people sane and I feel these words are appropriate for you.
Hi KLP,
I've seen you mention playing in a band a few times. What kind of stuff do you do?
That has to be good for you as well concerning HA. A great distraction. There are times when I'm playing and practicing that I barely notice the physical stuff I deal with ;) Music is good for the soul, mind and the body.
I've read though this thread and I agree with what others are saying that you're a lot stronger than you think and will put this behind you in no time :)
Positive thoughts
Hi fishmanpa,
I'm in a function band, mainly we do weddings a few corporate events and alike. I also have a cabaret show as a solo performer. Music is a god send, I feel that it's one thing that takes me away from the madness of anxiety.
I'll PM the bands website link.
Lisa.w1979
23-03-14, 16:23
hi KLP. it seems others have already done what i wanted to do and say hang in there. 20 steps forward and 1 step back is still a huge journey forwards. altough im not sure i should be talking to you.....southampton born and bred, but like you, i know live elsewhere. i live in the devils armpit, aka oxfordshire, in a tiny little town thats boasts jeremy clarkson and david cameron as residents. Although im not sure 'boasts' is the right word, especially for the latter. You all seem so far ahead of me in our journeys with HA. i've only just taken the bull by the horns, so to speak and im thoroughly looking forward to blips, instead of this constant state of worry, but i'll get there and you lot are inspiration and proof that this dragon will not kill me if i can just learn to tame it.
Hope you're all ok today and feeling better. xx
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