jb569
24-03-14, 20:38
Hello, everyone,
My name is Jack, I'm 18 years old and I'm currently at university. I don't really know how to begin this but recently I've been suffering from really bad panic attacks and slight derealization/depersonalization and I decided to join this forum because I feel I need to speak to others who can understand my plight.
For as long as I can remember, I've always been shy and anxious. But when I was 13, I suffered my first bout of Obsessional OCD. Prior to this, I displayed signs of compulsive behaviour such as sticking coins on the walk when I was a toddler and meticulously arranging things such as pencils and books alphabetically. But this bout of Obsessional OCD (Harm OCD) came out of the blue and I genuinely thought I was a danger to myself and others. As a result, I also developed POCD. It was a difficult period but when I went to my next secondary school, I felt more at ease but the intrusive thoughts were still present.
Intrusive thoughts have always been a problem but until now I've been able to handle them. I suffered from a bout of anxiety, false-memory OCD and depression during my second year of A-Levels but I eventually got through it and progressed on to university. I did see my GP and I was referred to a specialist mental health centre but since university was approaching I decided to stop going before I could get medication or CBT. Up until now, I've had a fantastic time at university. I've basically been living the life of your average student: going to parties/nightclubs, hanging out with friends and doing work. It wasn't until last Thursday that I've been feeling the way that I feel now. I was incredibly hungover, and all of a sudden these thoughts started coming into my head like 'what is reality?', 'what if I'm going crazy?', 'what if I lose my mind?' And that's when the panic attacks started. Desperate, I went to see my doctor in an emergency who said it was the result of a bad hangover. But since then, I've been feeling like the world around just doesn't feel 'real' and that I will lose my mind. There are times that I feel like I'm losing control and I'm scared I'm going to end up in a mental health hospital. This feeling just resonates within me and it scares me to death. I fear that I'm going crazy and I also have the thought 'what if I hallucinate?', 'what if I hear voices?' And then my brain goes into overthinking mode and I become utterly convinced that I'm going crazy. The intrusive thoughts have also resurged slightly. Now, when I see blood in a horror film or even an episode of Family Guy I slip into another panic attack. It's a very unpleasant experience at the moment. Luckily it's not becoming too much of an obstacle in my studies at the moment but if I don't seek the required help I'm frightened it will.
So this is my situation, and I would be interested in hearing about other people's experiences with anxiety and OCD. Thank you :)
My name is Jack, I'm 18 years old and I'm currently at university. I don't really know how to begin this but recently I've been suffering from really bad panic attacks and slight derealization/depersonalization and I decided to join this forum because I feel I need to speak to others who can understand my plight.
For as long as I can remember, I've always been shy and anxious. But when I was 13, I suffered my first bout of Obsessional OCD. Prior to this, I displayed signs of compulsive behaviour such as sticking coins on the walk when I was a toddler and meticulously arranging things such as pencils and books alphabetically. But this bout of Obsessional OCD (Harm OCD) came out of the blue and I genuinely thought I was a danger to myself and others. As a result, I also developed POCD. It was a difficult period but when I went to my next secondary school, I felt more at ease but the intrusive thoughts were still present.
Intrusive thoughts have always been a problem but until now I've been able to handle them. I suffered from a bout of anxiety, false-memory OCD and depression during my second year of A-Levels but I eventually got through it and progressed on to university. I did see my GP and I was referred to a specialist mental health centre but since university was approaching I decided to stop going before I could get medication or CBT. Up until now, I've had a fantastic time at university. I've basically been living the life of your average student: going to parties/nightclubs, hanging out with friends and doing work. It wasn't until last Thursday that I've been feeling the way that I feel now. I was incredibly hungover, and all of a sudden these thoughts started coming into my head like 'what is reality?', 'what if I'm going crazy?', 'what if I lose my mind?' And that's when the panic attacks started. Desperate, I went to see my doctor in an emergency who said it was the result of a bad hangover. But since then, I've been feeling like the world around just doesn't feel 'real' and that I will lose my mind. There are times that I feel like I'm losing control and I'm scared I'm going to end up in a mental health hospital. This feeling just resonates within me and it scares me to death. I fear that I'm going crazy and I also have the thought 'what if I hallucinate?', 'what if I hear voices?' And then my brain goes into overthinking mode and I become utterly convinced that I'm going crazy. The intrusive thoughts have also resurged slightly. Now, when I see blood in a horror film or even an episode of Family Guy I slip into another panic attack. It's a very unpleasant experience at the moment. Luckily it's not becoming too much of an obstacle in my studies at the moment but if I don't seek the required help I'm frightened it will.
So this is my situation, and I would be interested in hearing about other people's experiences with anxiety and OCD. Thank you :)