new here desperate

[tiredofthis14]

hi

Looking for support really bit of a long story

i have suffered from severe health aniexty for three years since losing both grandparents and a baby

i was taken to hospital with a what i thought astma attack however the doctor before examining told me i had a blood clot on my lung and i was going to die
after transferring me to a different hospital they informed me it was infact my first aniexty attack!

roll on three years im now 23 and in my worst state of panic ever!
last six weeks iv been hospitalised more times then i can rmeeber
i was taken in as calf was meausring 4 cm bigger was given anti clotting
sent for a scan next day clear d dimer clear
visited gp two days later pain on breathing sent back to hospital another d dimer negative
two days later leg starts to get worse another d dimer again negative

and yesterday fainted in my house and hit my head leg still agony so they run tests negative d dimer again

i just cant seem to accept i do not have a blood clot iv never been this obsessed it is driving me insaine i must of seen about 10 different people please help?!!!!!!!!!

[RoseEve]

First let me welcome you to the forum. Second, I am very sorry for your losses. It is no wonder you are experiencing anxiety. You have been dealing with a lot of emotions and it sounds like your body is responding. You have been seen by the doctor several times. The next step would be to look into therapy. I think a therapist will be able to help you though your feelings. Give yourself time, you are dealing with a lot of pain. :bighug1:

[ninnie]

Have you been put on any meds?

[tiredofthis14]

i have seen therapists in past they have just put me forward to see mind this week im on 150 mg sertraline and i take diazapam 3 times a day
iv always had control but this time iv just lost it i literally rang everyone yesterday crisis team access team mind even the samaritans im just desperate i want to believe all the test results but for some reason for the first time i dont!
iv had negative d dimers negative scan my leg isnt even swollen massivly or over painful it makes no sense! im so confused i want to believe i just dont and i dont no y i got pain in my back today :( im seeing my gp this morning thank u so much for replies

[HoneyLove]

Wow you've been through a lot in the last few years! I'm so sorry for all the loss you experienced, and with the blood clot on your lung that must have added a whole extra amount of stress into your life.

It's good you're waiting to speak to Mind, and that you've talked to your doctor about medication. It sounds like you're taking good steps towards feeling better, and in time these things will help (although if you feel like your medication isn't working then have a chat with your doctor).

While you're waiting for Mind, you could try a little online CBT to help you look at your worries in a more logical way. There's a free course I used called Mood Gym and found it really good:

https://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome

There is another course recommended here, but I can't remember what the name is - someone else might have the link.

To bring your mind down out of the highly anxious state you need to use some relaxation techniques like mindfulness or meditation. They need to be done every day though, even something like 10 mins of meditation a day will have positive impact on physical and mental health :) Would you consider something like a yoga class to help you quiet your mind and stretch your body?

[tiredofthis14]

thank you very much for your advice

i didnt actually have a clot on lung doctor misdiagnosed me :( thats whats started it all

i do try and go online cbt as much as i can
my problem is reasurance seeking it has got to the point i dont believe anything anyone says including doctors and tests

i saw my gp yesterday she has referred me to a pychiatrist now too
she explained to me my chance of actually having a clot are slim to none after a negative doppler and 4 d dimers
i came out so happy had really good day then today i woke panicking again!
think i am coming down with chest infection coughing feel breathless but of course my mind running to the omg i have a clot on my lung theory again!
suffer bad air hunger which doesnt help
its crazy yesterday ia ccepted the whole clot thing just the aniexty trying to get better of me and today im conviced they have missed something again!
cbt tomorrow :) fingers crossed