LeFi_81
26-03-14, 15:02
Hi guys,
So my health anxiety only started parallel to my panic problem. The panic jumped into action at a stage in my life where I was completely depleted of energy and motivation. Stress got the upper hand over my entire life. The result - panic attacks.
Do you know what is the worst of all? The fact that my so-called stress was/is actually just the smallest little things!
After I had the first panic attacks, my GP could not really elaborate what happened. He did the routine check up and send me home with a verdict of physical health. The consequence? I spend hours on the internet looking up what could be wrong with me. 3 Major possibilities were concluded for me by Dr. Google. a) Heart disease; b) Brain tumor or c) Panic Disorder.
Option a was ruled out by my GP. Option b remains unexplored (its not like one can get an MRI from one day to the next). Option c was taken several steps further with great success. I do believe that I am suffering of anxiety and the side effects of it just freaks me out! It remains hard for me to grasp how strong psychosomatic symptoms can feel!
My current state is one of sensitization. In other words I am over sensitive to external/internal stimuli. Not a nice state to be in since every little unexpected noise scare the living lights out of me :roflmao:! Also, I am now working hard on the whole anxiety thing.
Here comes the experiment. My therapist asked me to try not to focus on my "option B" for one week. If my symptoms subside a little, then I will be more assured that it is truly just a result of my creativity. If the symptoms increase or stay present as strong, then she will refer me to a neurologist.
So the deal is that my "symptoms" are subtle. Very much so indeed! I am just so scared since I am seemingly surrounded by many sufferers of brain tumors. (Nope not a nurse or Dr. Merely family and friends).
I want to go for the experiment. Just now my eyes played some tricks on me as I tried to rest on the couch. So I decided to write. Just let it out. Just to say to you and to myself that I do not believe I have a brain tumor. That I belief it is a result of my reaction on my symptoms that my sensitization is rather fed by my creative mind. Do I struggle with accepting? Oh yes! So I will take a leap of faith. For one week tell myself to look the other way. Just to see. Try to go a little further each day. The moment I fail, I will salute my negative thought. Then I will venture out again. Away from the negativity.
Carpe Diem!
What is the worse that could happen?
So my health anxiety only started parallel to my panic problem. The panic jumped into action at a stage in my life where I was completely depleted of energy and motivation. Stress got the upper hand over my entire life. The result - panic attacks.
Do you know what is the worst of all? The fact that my so-called stress was/is actually just the smallest little things!
After I had the first panic attacks, my GP could not really elaborate what happened. He did the routine check up and send me home with a verdict of physical health. The consequence? I spend hours on the internet looking up what could be wrong with me. 3 Major possibilities were concluded for me by Dr. Google. a) Heart disease; b) Brain tumor or c) Panic Disorder.
Option a was ruled out by my GP. Option b remains unexplored (its not like one can get an MRI from one day to the next). Option c was taken several steps further with great success. I do believe that I am suffering of anxiety and the side effects of it just freaks me out! It remains hard for me to grasp how strong psychosomatic symptoms can feel!
My current state is one of sensitization. In other words I am over sensitive to external/internal stimuli. Not a nice state to be in since every little unexpected noise scare the living lights out of me :roflmao:! Also, I am now working hard on the whole anxiety thing.
Here comes the experiment. My therapist asked me to try not to focus on my "option B" for one week. If my symptoms subside a little, then I will be more assured that it is truly just a result of my creativity. If the symptoms increase or stay present as strong, then she will refer me to a neurologist.
So the deal is that my "symptoms" are subtle. Very much so indeed! I am just so scared since I am seemingly surrounded by many sufferers of brain tumors. (Nope not a nurse or Dr. Merely family and friends).
I want to go for the experiment. Just now my eyes played some tricks on me as I tried to rest on the couch. So I decided to write. Just let it out. Just to say to you and to myself that I do not believe I have a brain tumor. That I belief it is a result of my reaction on my symptoms that my sensitization is rather fed by my creative mind. Do I struggle with accepting? Oh yes! So I will take a leap of faith. For one week tell myself to look the other way. Just to see. Try to go a little further each day. The moment I fail, I will salute my negative thought. Then I will venture out again. Away from the negativity.
Carpe Diem!
What is the worse that could happen?