Fiona*
27-03-14, 15:17
Hi, My name is Fiona. I am 32 years of age and have 3 children and 3 step children
I was in search of an answer and good old google directed me here so here I am.
A little bit about myself to begin with.
I was placed in care when I was 18 Months of age and at the age of 5 I was made a court order awarding me to the authority's care, basically I was put up for adoption. I was adopted at 9 years old after going from home to home for the 7 years I was in care. Age 11 I was put back into care because I was a difficult child, My parents tried to get me the help I needed from the rejection I had had from when I was a child and basically didn't get anywhere.
When I was 16 I moved into a flat of my own, met a man ( he was 30 ) and we became a couple
After just 6 Months being together, he started to become violent and abusive. I fell pregnant when I was 18, I later went on to loose the baby. At 20 I got married to this man and a year later we had our first child. The abuse continued, I felt so alone and like everything was my fault. Fast forward a few more years we had another 2 children.
In 2008 my youngest son who was just 11 months old DIED - How , that's anybody's question. He had a sudden onset of cardiac arrest and 5 days later he died in my arms. Post mortem couldn't find anything wrong, it was 4 Months before we was able to hold his funeral. We then lost my other 2 boys because of his sudden death and we was told it was normal procedure - I then went downhill mentally.
To cut a long story short, after 14 years of hell, I left my husband - It was hard, it was scary and I was petrified given the amount of crap he had put me through. I lived in fear. This didn't help my mental health at all and I became a recluse to everyone. I had no friends because he had done that.
I am happy to say though that my life slowly began to turn around, I met a new man online, he was told everything about my past and my issues and he wanted to help me, treat me like a princess, so I thought why not. Why should I let my past keep me pulled down, so off I went, I met this man and 2 years later, here I am, happy at long last. We married valentines day last year and I haven't looked back
Just one problem, my anxiety's and panics get in the way - I find myself kicking off, getting upset at just the simplest of things. I know I still have issues with depression etc, Only good thing is I haven't self harmed in 2 years and that is a major accomplishment for me and I don't intend on going back
I have just been put on some new medication, Cipralex. Im struggling with the change and that's why Im here really..
If your still reading, Thank-you - I look forward to getting to know you and gaining some support on my last journey
I was in search of an answer and good old google directed me here so here I am.
A little bit about myself to begin with.
I was placed in care when I was 18 Months of age and at the age of 5 I was made a court order awarding me to the authority's care, basically I was put up for adoption. I was adopted at 9 years old after going from home to home for the 7 years I was in care. Age 11 I was put back into care because I was a difficult child, My parents tried to get me the help I needed from the rejection I had had from when I was a child and basically didn't get anywhere.
When I was 16 I moved into a flat of my own, met a man ( he was 30 ) and we became a couple
After just 6 Months being together, he started to become violent and abusive. I fell pregnant when I was 18, I later went on to loose the baby. At 20 I got married to this man and a year later we had our first child. The abuse continued, I felt so alone and like everything was my fault. Fast forward a few more years we had another 2 children.
In 2008 my youngest son who was just 11 months old DIED - How , that's anybody's question. He had a sudden onset of cardiac arrest and 5 days later he died in my arms. Post mortem couldn't find anything wrong, it was 4 Months before we was able to hold his funeral. We then lost my other 2 boys because of his sudden death and we was told it was normal procedure - I then went downhill mentally.
To cut a long story short, after 14 years of hell, I left my husband - It was hard, it was scary and I was petrified given the amount of crap he had put me through. I lived in fear. This didn't help my mental health at all and I became a recluse to everyone. I had no friends because he had done that.
I am happy to say though that my life slowly began to turn around, I met a new man online, he was told everything about my past and my issues and he wanted to help me, treat me like a princess, so I thought why not. Why should I let my past keep me pulled down, so off I went, I met this man and 2 years later, here I am, happy at long last. We married valentines day last year and I haven't looked back
Just one problem, my anxiety's and panics get in the way - I find myself kicking off, getting upset at just the simplest of things. I know I still have issues with depression etc, Only good thing is I haven't self harmed in 2 years and that is a major accomplishment for me and I don't intend on going back
I have just been put on some new medication, Cipralex. Im struggling with the change and that's why Im here really..
If your still reading, Thank-you - I look forward to getting to know you and gaining some support on my last journey