Family illness- I just don't know who to turn to...

[MarkJames3]

Just went to pick my son up from my parents and got some bad news… I have refrained from talking about it on here as I know it may set some peoples anxiety off and its part of the reason my anxiety is so bad at the moment….

My dad was diagnosed in Jan with skin cancer on his head, originally they said it was a simple operation to remove it then a bit of radiotherapy to make sure its all gone, after weeks of tests and appointments made for the operation they have now turned around and said that they are not going to operate and they think Chemo will only prolong the inevitable.

In the last 5 years my sister has had breast cancer, my brother in law died from lung cancer (rare form) and my sister in law has had skin cancer… 4 people in the last 5 years in my extended family…

I just don't know if I can take much more of this… I feel I am at breaking point… I don't know why my family have deserved this amount of sadness for the last five years… I just don't think I am strong enough to cope any more and continually put on a brave face about it all. I am 29 years old but fell like my whole 20's has just been sadness, hurt and disappointment.. I fear what is to come...

Obviously all of this going on at the moment is affecting my life greatly, but I feel I can't talk about it because my dad and his problems… Being constantly surrounded by cancer just isn't good for me, i feel like my life is over… i have been scarred too many times in the past 5 years for it to be undone or patched up….

[scrumking]

Hey don't have much advice or magic words but I def know what you are GPING through, here is a recap of my 2013:

January- grandma died of brain aneurysm
March- was diagnosed with severe obstructive sleep apnea
May- lost my father in law after a 7 month battle with cancer
July- mother in law diagnosed with breast cancer
September- lost the woman who was like my second mother to a massive heart attack

It gets easier is all I can say try to keep positive!!

[MarkJames3]

How did you get through it?

[SarahH]

Mark,Skumking,

I don't really know what to say to you both.... such sad times.

My father died of skin cancer nearly 7 years ago so I know a little of what you are going through......... but obviously nothing compared to what you are both feeling right now.


The thing that helped me through my dads death was bereavement counselling.

Sending you both love:hugs:

Sarah

[wins829]

I don't know how to tell you. But i have anxiety. I used to worry sad sacred everyday. Go to the doctor every other day. I'm sick of the way my life it. So one day i finally wake up. I told myself god plan everything already if is my turn to go. Doesn't matter what i feel. Doesn't matter how much i don't want to. Nothing will change. So i start to enjoy my life again. Try to enjoy whatever the days i have with all the people i love. I don't know if what i said make sense to you. I know is hard to do it. Sometimes i still have my days. But at list my life is happier than before. Hope will help you a bit.

[Tanner40]

Mark, I definitely understand what you're going through and I'm sorry for your many losses. In the last four years my Mom died of a rare form of lung cancer. Today is actually the anniversary of her death. Last year, my uncle, my Mom's brother, died of pancreatic cancer. This year my father has been diagnosed with two forms of rare cancer and is undergoing palliative care.

How do we go on? We go on because that is what the folks that we lost would want for us. We go on and live our lives in remembrance of them. We go on for all of our family and friends that are still here and need us. We go on because we want to live. We go on so those who are left will not have to endure the loss of us.

It isn't easy. There is so much confusion and sadness and so many questions of why, why, why. Think of the strengths that were imparted to you from your sister, your brother-in-law, your second mother, and your father. Gather that strength and courage and risk living life. You have nothing worse to lose than not living your own life.