Can't Face Returning To Work

[robinsky]

Hi

I have been off work for about 5 weeks now and am due to return in just over a fortnight as that is when my sick note runs out.

However, the situation at work has now reached a stage where it has become untenable and I can't face going back, not even to work out my notice period - too much has happened in the last couple of months and I have lost all faith/trust in my employer.

Basically, I am under investigation for Facebook comments and I have studied them (I have already stated I did not write the comments) and found just a few which might be deemed concerning in the mildest sense. The others are nothing comments.

I have spoken to my T.U. rep and he agreed the comments did not concern him yet work are making such a big deal out of this - we told work they could send any questions they might have through the post but they have only decided now to act on that - TWO MONTHS LATER!! They could have easily made a decision, based on any evidence, well before now.

Then I spoke to OCH today and they were no help - in fact, they seemed more concerned I should go in for a disciplinary meeting, rather than my health. My work also stated I would not lose my job and I got an email saying that now this wasn't necessarily the case - they keep toying with this and I am getting sick and tired of being messed around.

This situation has caused me to have severe anxiety and dented my confidence to such a degree where I am unable to leave the house, except in exceptional circumstances and even then, I feel very uncomfortable and caused me to have suicidal thoughts and to be at my lowest ebb, all over something trivial - even my HR told me the comment which most concerned me was minor - so why are work turning this into something more than need be?

Can I have some advice as the situation at work has now become untenable and I feel I cannot return now - I don't want to get a sick note if I am not sick, should I be well by the stage the sick note runs out, but I see I have no choice.

Thanks for any help.

Regards,
Rob

[MyNameIsTerry]

Rob,

Some things to think about:

1) Why hasn't your TU rep been chasing this? They should be.

2) Disciplinary procedures have to be acknowledged e.g. you get a letter outlining what it's for.

3) Disciplinary procedures need to have an expected timescale. This can change but they would they update you on why & how long for.

4) The manager leading the disciplinary would be in charge overall but you would normally have an independant investigating manager who then sends a report of finding for assessment by the manager leading the disciplinary.

5) You should have a company handbook or the ability to access the disciplinary procedure.

6) The published disciplinary procedure should outline how everyone works, what the possible outcomes are and the expected timescales. Whilst timescales can change e.g. a lengthy investigation may be required, it has to be communicated to you and it should be reasonable.

Timescales may be interpreted as within the employers HR but there should be an element of reasonable endevours. ACAS may give you an idea of time expectations.

Have you had any of this?

Honestly. some managers are just rubbish at their jobs or are chasing their own objectives so see all this as an inconvenience to their boot licking activities.

I've been through this procedure but on the other side in a management position and as a complainant and I've often found that you have to manage it yourself e.g. chase them every step of the way or they just mess about and things go on forever.

I also found that companies are more than willing to break their own policies because they think YOU don't know them. This is why you need the HR policies in front of you. Every single thing they fail on, can help you.

I don't really want to say yes or no in terms of returning but I know I wouldn't. If they know why you're off, and they are sneaky, they can put pressure on you and all stick together and have little concern that they have made you worse.

Personally, it sounds like your TU rep isn't doing his/her job. So, you need to talk to them. TU reps have bosses to and if they are not doing what they should be, escalate it upwards.

You also need to know your rights. Don't rely on a TU rep to tell you this, get Googling. There are plenty of sites out there explaining your legal rights in a disciplinary procedure e.g. CAB. It's also worth understanding the legal obligations on your employer because they are expected to perform in certain ways to fit in with your legal rights so research these e.g. ACAS, Business Link, .gov, etc.

You should also have cover under the disability act for any reasonable adjustments.

[davidthegnome]

I just wanted to share a few thoughts. I'm going through something of a difficult time at work myself right now - and I have a tendency to overshare on facebook, though I haven't gotten into trouble for it yet.

My job has made me very unhappy lately - largely thanks to the increased anxiety I've been feeling, and the fact that it's rather chaotic right now. You'd be surprised how stressful things can get just working at a hotel's front desk.

What it really comes down to, for me, is not letting my job define me. It's something I do to buy bread and pay for my car. It's not who I am. When I get stressed, I remind myself constantly that the worst thing they can do is fire me - and there are days (especially right now) when I'm not sure that that would be a bad thing.

Paying the bills is kind of necessary, but you should never let anyone push you around or make you afraid for your security. I'm sure others here have better practical advice than I do - but mine (as hard as it may seem) to not take it too seriously. No matter what the risks or threats, consider all that you have lived through already and consider how much petty threats of "disciplinary action" really mean to you.

I'm not saying to tell them to jump off a cliff, but you can certainly take it all with a grain of salt and maybe even a shrug. They can do their worst, but surviving with the anxiety you have lived with makes you someone powerful, someone deserving of respect.

Whatever happens, put your own happiness first. That is what I have had to do, to remind myself that, whatever happens at work, the sun will still rise in the morning. I used to panic over my boss's insults and his petty tyrant-like manner. Now, while on the outside I nod my head and do what he says (usually). On the inside I'm laughing about how insignificant he is.

Hang in there - whatever the job, you're worth more than the job.