Facing Our Fears

[Tanner40]

Good Morning everyone. I have just had the opportunity to spend the last ten days facing one of my biggest fears, the fear of being alone. Don't get me wrong, I like "me time", a couple of hours here and there to just be by myself. What scares me is me being totally in charge of me for an extended period of time, with knowing that no one else is coming home.

My partner has been gone for the last ten days and is finally coming home today. I'm thrilled that she is coming home, but I'm just as thrilled that I made it through the last ten days fairly unscathed. The dogs and cats haven't died of starvation, the house is not a disaster, and I didn't die of some god awful illness with no one here to phone for an ambulance.

Yes, I had some anxious moments and a small panic attack. No huge deal, as I was able to put all of the tools in my toolbox to good use. I had a lot of support from many of you on NMP. I still felt fear at times but I just went ahead and let myself feel the fear. Then I did what I needed to do in spite of the fear. I think this experience wu I'll be a growing point for me. I know that it has given me even more confidence in my abilities. Five months ago, I would have been a blithering idiot and the results would not have been the same.

I see many of you facing your fears on a daily basis. Some of you are pushing through the fear and doing it anyway. Some of you are not quite there yet, and that's okay. We are all at different points in our recovery. The important thing to know is that each of you can get there.

What do you fear and how are you going to face that fear today?

[LeFi_81]

10 Days alone! Wow that is quite a milestone. The positive side to this too is that it shows how great a support your partner is to you. This is wonderful in itself.

Being alone is so so so scary. Since I was a little girl, I always crept into the bed of my brother to be able to fall asleep. Its just not how we are build to be, I guess. But also a very important and very valuable tool to have in that toolbox of yours!

I am probably falling in your category of "not quite there yet" but that is not a problem. It is in fact an opportunity. Lately I am positive about seeing myself in a new light. Scary as it may be.

What do I fear and how will I face that fear today?
Easier would have been what DONT I fear ;-)

I fear anxiety. Its true. Not quite there yet with the accepting issue :D I am keeping busy and I greet my negative thoughts, I greet my fears and I let it be.

Now I wonder if I should be doing more? :shrug:

Thank you for the post.

[HoneyLove]

Hi Tanner, during the worst of my anxiety I found it hard to spend one day alone, never mind 10! What a challenge for you, and you did it :)

Like I said to you recently, you are so strong and you just keep showing us even more strength. You did well to cope with your feelings and the panic, next time you'll know that you can manage it just fine and you won't feel so bad about being on your own again.

[MRS STRESS ED]

Tanner again you proved how strong you really are ,I like abit of me time but 10 days thats amazing with everything else you have going on ,regaurding your Dad hope everything is going okay as it can be xx

[jab1982]

I'm going to face my fear by trusting that my doctor knows more than me and believe he has my best interest in his hands. Congrats on 10 days alone. My partner was gone for two days this week and I was a total mess when he returned. Thank you for giving me something to strive for. I like the positive posts!

[tracieann]

Well done Tanner reading your post is inspirational x

[Fishmanpa]

Great post Tanner and a testament to what one can do when determined and uses the tools in the toolbox.

Keep up the great work. It's inspiring!

Positive thoughts

[SarahH]

:Dnice one Tanner

[Tanner40]

Great work by everyone on here that has responded. We are all afraid of something. Even people without anxiety issues find themselves afraid. No matter what path we are on or where we are in this journey, we can all strive for some small victory each day. We can all support each other. I find that just setting myself one small goal each day can give me a self confidence boosting moment, and those are so important for building upon.

[KLP]

We all knew you'd get through it, with the same conviction and strength you give others.
Hi five you!

[Tanner40]

Thanks KLP. That means a lot. I'm glad that you all give me faith back in myself. I just hope to be able to give back some of what others have given to me. If I can do this, anybody can do this.

[jab1982]

Thank you for posting a victory. The days when I feel like I cannot wrangle in my fears I look for posts that are positive and give me ideas to cope. This was the boost I needed today. After I read your post I decided I would not poke and prod for the rest of the day. And I haven't. Instead, I came home and spent time with the person I love and relaxed (even if only for a an hour). This forum has been a great resource of positivity for me. Instead of asking for reassurance from my family I read the positive posts. It's really helped me lessen the pressure off the people I love. They support me in every way but it's great to be able to work through this on my own and discuss my fears with people who are in my same boat.

Thanks again. Looking forward to your positive posts in the future.

[cpe1978]

I just hope to be able to give back some of what others have given to me. If I can do this, anybody can do this.

Hey Tanner, another outstanding and thought provoking post. You have already and continue to give back what others have given you. Your posts are always balanced and well considered and certainly help me immensely.

Whilst there may well be bumps in the road, you are a true example of how to tackle this monster.

[Tanner40]

Jab, so glad that I could give you a positive post that helped you through your day yesterday. I can tell you that when I first joined NMP and still, to this day, I find posts from people that are working hard and that inspire me. I follow those posts and shamelessly take their ideas and put them into practice.

People like CPE, Fishmanpa, Kate, HoneyLove, Skippy, and Too Much have helped me more than I can say. That is the beauty of this forum. We are all on the same journey, although not at the same place on the road. Helping each other and accepting wisdom and advice is so much a part of my recovery. I'm glad that I could help you find something positive to hold on to today.

---------- Post added at 13:56 ---------- Previous post was at 13:55 ----------

CPE, high praise indeed coming from you, Chris. One of the people's posts that have helped me the most on NMP.

[Tessar]

I think this is a brilliant achievement tanner, pa great example of facing the fear and doing it anyway. I can remember at my worst during depression if I got home from work first I hated having to wait for my partner. I look back now and can still remember how it felt. I got round it literally by tolerating the time on my own ... Particular by getting busy doing something. Maybe I'd unload the dishwasher or get our tea ready. It seemed a struggle to do these things but they helped pass the time. Also I learned to enjoy my own company too, these days I am glad of a little bit of time to myself, funny how things can change.

[Tanner40]

Thanks Tessar, good to hear about all of the progress that you have made in this area. It is funny how things change so much with time. If we can only continue to remember that when we have bad moments, it's just a moment. It doesnt have to be like that forever. Hard work and believing in ourselves goes a long way toward recovery.