teej
28-03-14, 13:04
Hi Everyone.
I return looking for some support and love. I've been doing super well on my 50 mg sertraline and the odd 2mg diazepam until last week when I forgot to take my dose a number of times (possibly up to 3 - I don't know). I'd been so happy and was riding my bike loads that it just didn't occur to me.
By Friday I felt pretty anxious about various themes I worry about a lot - situations my brain has created that I can't possibly do anything about - aliens invading, the planet being destroyed somehow (if someone could take me out of these worries that'd be great).
By Saturday I'd entirely fallen off the wagon and started drinking again. Bad me. Basically this week has just been one big bender. Sobering up enough to get into work (I don't drive!) - shake my way through work before drinking again - sometimes up to a whole bottle of vodka a night. And of course this has just been an absolute vicious circle as the drinking - especially that much - has just jammed my anxiety through the roof again - waking in the morning with such dread and anxiety it's not even true.
This morning I visited my doctor, lied my ass off about what was happening and got dished out diazepam and zopiclone (which I don't take with alcohol I might add).
Now as I sit here this afternoon (and yes I'm sober) I just realize what an incredible idiot I've been this week - undoing so much hard work.
I'm seeing my GP again on Monday so I think it's going to be confession time yet again. I just feel such a s**tbag having lied.
I'm going to have to taper the booze back down over this weekend so hopefully by Monday I won't have to ask for help with alcohol withdrawal which I'm reasonably certain I'm suffering again (symptoms of severe anxiety killed with one drink).
Sorry for the confessional. I know this isn't a forum about alcohol abuse either but I know it comes up from time to time. I just wanted to confess to someone and see if anyone can help support me getting through this.
Thanks
T :weep:
---------- Post added at 13:04 ---------- Previous post was at 13:03 ----------
Oh and I'm seeing my counsellor in an hour so I think it'll be double confession time. :weep:
I return looking for some support and love. I've been doing super well on my 50 mg sertraline and the odd 2mg diazepam until last week when I forgot to take my dose a number of times (possibly up to 3 - I don't know). I'd been so happy and was riding my bike loads that it just didn't occur to me.
By Friday I felt pretty anxious about various themes I worry about a lot - situations my brain has created that I can't possibly do anything about - aliens invading, the planet being destroyed somehow (if someone could take me out of these worries that'd be great).
By Saturday I'd entirely fallen off the wagon and started drinking again. Bad me. Basically this week has just been one big bender. Sobering up enough to get into work (I don't drive!) - shake my way through work before drinking again - sometimes up to a whole bottle of vodka a night. And of course this has just been an absolute vicious circle as the drinking - especially that much - has just jammed my anxiety through the roof again - waking in the morning with such dread and anxiety it's not even true.
This morning I visited my doctor, lied my ass off about what was happening and got dished out diazepam and zopiclone (which I don't take with alcohol I might add).
Now as I sit here this afternoon (and yes I'm sober) I just realize what an incredible idiot I've been this week - undoing so much hard work.
I'm seeing my GP again on Monday so I think it's going to be confession time yet again. I just feel such a s**tbag having lied.
I'm going to have to taper the booze back down over this weekend so hopefully by Monday I won't have to ask for help with alcohol withdrawal which I'm reasonably certain I'm suffering again (symptoms of severe anxiety killed with one drink).
Sorry for the confessional. I know this isn't a forum about alcohol abuse either but I know it comes up from time to time. I just wanted to confess to someone and see if anyone can help support me getting through this.
Thanks
T :weep:
---------- Post added at 13:04 ---------- Previous post was at 13:03 ----------
Oh and I'm seeing my counsellor in an hour so I think it'll be double confession time. :weep: