Feeling rubbish and angry at self

[wabbit1]

I've not noticed much about it on here but one of the things that I do to 'cope' is self-harm. Usually it's no where people will see, maybe occasionally on the top of my arms. My friend noticed once and I passed it off as scratching it on a walk. I've done it again but much lower down and now there's no way she'll believe it's accidental and she really won't understand. I'll have to wear long sleeve tops till it fades and the weather is getting warmer.

Not really looking for anything other than reassurance here. I'm really angry at myself for doing it as it has been nearly a couple of months since I last did it.

[MyNameIsTerry]

I've not noticed it mentioned on here but I think I did see one member with this. I wish I could remember who it was so I could direct you to the thread to perhaps contact them.

It must be hard with that. I have met someone who does this before but it's hard to know what to say.

I remember watching someone do it on TV, it just seemed so random whilst they were talking. I really felt for the guy, it clearly deeply upset him to do it.

I really do think that anxiety itself is a kind of self harm. We use safety behaviours that only harm us and if you have OCD like me, well you are really harming yourself by doing it. Some OCD sufferers like myself perform the ritual we are compelled to but get more anxious instead of feel relief which is I why I think this way about mental self harm thesedays.

I would imagine anyone with depression, bereavement or guilt issues could feel the same.

So, I guess what I'm trying to say is, whilst we may not fullly get it, we get it on some level and empathise with you.

Heh, if it's a scratch rather than a deep cut, say your nails were long and the warm weather has made you scratch yourself a lot in bed. Just a thought for now.

Are you having therapy for it?

On a positive note, it's been months since you did it...thats got to be worth something.

[wabbit1]

Hi, thanks for your reply.

I'm not sure I even get it myself I always think I have control over it but then I do it again.

I've been referred to a Psychologist but still waiting on an appointment. I'm going to try and make an appointment with my GP next week to see if there is anything that can help in the interim. I'm finding it all a bit overwhelming and the symptoms of anxiety are becoming more noticeable and interfering more in my life.

[clarisse]

http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/self-harm/?gclid=CPvR8pmHu70CFernwgodSBIABg#.Uzh5C6hdWNI


Have you read this hun? :bighug1:

[MyNameIsTerry]

Try Mindfulness meditation. It's from Buddhism where it's all about accepting yourself, the world, embracing nature and forgetting about status & materialistic practices. It takes time to lean but it can help at least a little bit quite quickly.

Is accepting yourself an issue in self harm? I only really know what I know form briefly speaking to someone with it and I tend to avoid anything in the media about mental health because they always go for the entertainment value as opposed to trying to understand it. So, many people will benefit from the understanding you can provide.

So, is it because you are becoming more anxious that you are starting to self harm again? I can relate to that with having OCD because thats what the rituals are all about.

Maybe it's worth asking for a sub section on this forum for self harm?

[wabbit1]

I hate my body and as I'm losing more weight and becoming healthier it's becoming worse. I think it's a control thing - it's worse on the parts I despise the most.

At the moment I have no desire to self harm.

Thanks, clarisse. I have read loads of things to do with it to try and understand it and while I can relate to a lot of it I can't find anything to help stop me from doing it.

[Jacsta]

self harm is like any addiction that anx/depression sufferers have to try and release...it is a hard cycle to break as it becomes a coping mechanism and somewhat automatic

I think that distraction and mind exercises are key to breaking this habit. when you feel urges then busy yourself with something....exercise is good because it helps use up all that extra adrenaline. Also writing down your thoughts ona sheet of paper helps...you may not read back what you have written but merely writing it down is a way of releasing the emotion.

Like any bad habit...it is natural to feel guilt and self criticise...but it is important to force on positive emotion onto yourself.

It takes time to stop...it wont jist happen overnight, but remind yourseld that you are taking all the necessary steps to beat this...you are awaiting therapy, and you want to stop...be kind to yourself and remember to challenge each negative emotion that drives you to do this and make it into a positive thought.

[MyNameIsTerry]

It sounds like acceptance is going to play a big part for you then Wabbit.

Is it your body that was the main issue, or did it come later?