dan76
30-03-14, 10:06
So... I have been on sick leave last 4 days and tomorrow I should get back to the office. It just feels so wrong feeling like this. I don't understand how my life turned upside down like this in less than a two months.
I have been really struggling for last 6 weeks or so. I was able to attend work until last Tuesday. At work I have by no means been doing much. Just waiting hours to pass, so that I can get back home. I feel so dizzy and weak all the time that it occupies my entire mind. If I get any pressure to concentrate on anything like - phone call or writing an email - it gets worse and I feel that I am going to pass out or that my mind will just go blank. And it is so difficult to keep this all inside me, because from the outside I look completely normal.
On the other hand I really want to go there, because staying home alone is not that much fun either. I am not feeling that better at home either. Only relief being that I can go lay down whenever I feel the need and that I don't need to keep acting as everything was fine.
Past 6 weeks I have been thinking a lot what is really wrong with me and so has my GP. But as there are no indications of any physical issues, the anxiety is only that is left. Thinking from that perspective, it sounds pretty solid diagnosis, but I am still not sure. I even had appointment with a psychiatrist but even he didn't think that I was suffering from anxiety. But maybe it was because that point of time I was more convinced that something else is wrong and I kept acting when he interviewed me...
And now that I have just started venlafaxine I don't know anymore which is a real symptom and which is just a side-effect. Am I just making myself more sick by taking this medicine. But I really want it to work.
I have been really struggling for last 6 weeks or so. I was able to attend work until last Tuesday. At work I have by no means been doing much. Just waiting hours to pass, so that I can get back home. I feel so dizzy and weak all the time that it occupies my entire mind. If I get any pressure to concentrate on anything like - phone call or writing an email - it gets worse and I feel that I am going to pass out or that my mind will just go blank. And it is so difficult to keep this all inside me, because from the outside I look completely normal.
On the other hand I really want to go there, because staying home alone is not that much fun either. I am not feeling that better at home either. Only relief being that I can go lay down whenever I feel the need and that I don't need to keep acting as everything was fine.
Past 6 weeks I have been thinking a lot what is really wrong with me and so has my GP. But as there are no indications of any physical issues, the anxiety is only that is left. Thinking from that perspective, it sounds pretty solid diagnosis, but I am still not sure. I even had appointment with a psychiatrist but even he didn't think that I was suffering from anxiety. But maybe it was because that point of time I was more convinced that something else is wrong and I kept acting when he interviewed me...
And now that I have just started venlafaxine I don't know anymore which is a real symptom and which is just a side-effect. Am I just making myself more sick by taking this medicine. But I really want it to work.