vixdname
01-04-14, 04:40
Hi all,
Let me tell ye all a bit about myself and how over the last few years I’ve let health anxiety, in particular cancer anxiety completely take over me for weeks on end and turn my normal happy life into a very dark, gut twisted, frantic minded dreadful version of itself.
I’ve always from a very young age suffered from depression, I can look back now as a 40 year old adult and identify particular times in my early childhood when my behaviour and general feeling was definitely associated with depression.
So to say I’m familiar with mental issues would be an understatement.
As far back as I can remember, I have been capable of transporting my normally happy bright mind into horrible places where fear, anxiety and dread lurk with the very slightest catalyst.
For years, I seemed to get away from the depression and anxiety I felt as a youngster, I reckon from the ages of between 19 and 25 years old, I didn’t really suffer from them but then again I dabbled with some, shall I say, non prescriptive narcotics such as Ecstasy, Acid, Speed, Cocaine and various smokes, never to the extent to which they were a problem or held me back in my day to day life or career, but on weekends and with close friends.
In about 2002 I met who was to be come my wife and the mad party weekends became less and less and we concentrated on having a family, a task which can come so easily to most turned out to be a long arduous journey into IVF, one with its own particular heart aches, disappointments and eventually blissful happiness when we had the birth of my amazingly beautiful daughter. It took us 8 years.
My general anxiety was always there in the background but nothing so powerful as it was to become.
I reckon my health anxiety began when my aunt died of cancer a few years ago, it kind of brought home that this can happen to anyone at any time and I think the uncontrollable nature of this is what gets me to a certain extent.
I like to be in control of myself, my life, where I’m going and what I’m doing, I like to have a contingency plan for everything, I like to think of all the scenarios that can happen before they do and have an answer for them.
But this cancer thing can just come from no where and scupper your best made plans, leaving all of your hoped for control out the window.
Over the last few years, I’ve convinced myself that I’ve had, Brain Tumours, Tumours in my thigh (Cyst), Anal cancer (Lump Near anus which turned out to be a pile), Bone cancer, Nasopharyngeal cancer (Broken septum), Skin cancer (A number of times), Prostate cancer, stomach cancer, eyelid cancer (Yes I know!), Throat Cancer (Allergy To Milk), Mouth Cancer (Ulcer), Lung cancer, Testicular Cancer (Ultra Sound Found Scrotal Pearls – Calcium Deposits).
These are just some that I can think of off the top of my head, but I’m pretty sure theres many many more.
When I’ve been anxious about these, it has at times lasted weeks and when I’m in that depressive anxious state, I cant eat, I want to curl up in bed and sleep, I just cant stop myself constantly churning facts and articles I’ve read on Google about my symptoms and how theyre definitely signs I have a particular disease at that time.
I don’t just worry about my health either, I worry equally as much about my wifes health, over the years I’ve had myself convinced she had cervical cancer, brain tumours, lung cancer and various other cancers and recently, I’m starting to worry about my little girl.
It’s a horrible state I get myself into to but one I can very rarely get myself out of until a medical professional assures me all is ok.
Anyways, enough about me, I am definitely considering CBT and will soon be going on to medication (Lexapro) to help with my general anxiety and hopefully it’ll help me cope and deal with my health anxietys aswell.
I’m glad to have found this site and am already taking relief that I’m not the only one that suffers from this horrible condition.
I look forward to getting to know ye better as time goes on.
Best of luck, Vix
Let me tell ye all a bit about myself and how over the last few years I’ve let health anxiety, in particular cancer anxiety completely take over me for weeks on end and turn my normal happy life into a very dark, gut twisted, frantic minded dreadful version of itself.
I’ve always from a very young age suffered from depression, I can look back now as a 40 year old adult and identify particular times in my early childhood when my behaviour and general feeling was definitely associated with depression.
So to say I’m familiar with mental issues would be an understatement.
As far back as I can remember, I have been capable of transporting my normally happy bright mind into horrible places where fear, anxiety and dread lurk with the very slightest catalyst.
For years, I seemed to get away from the depression and anxiety I felt as a youngster, I reckon from the ages of between 19 and 25 years old, I didn’t really suffer from them but then again I dabbled with some, shall I say, non prescriptive narcotics such as Ecstasy, Acid, Speed, Cocaine and various smokes, never to the extent to which they were a problem or held me back in my day to day life or career, but on weekends and with close friends.
In about 2002 I met who was to be come my wife and the mad party weekends became less and less and we concentrated on having a family, a task which can come so easily to most turned out to be a long arduous journey into IVF, one with its own particular heart aches, disappointments and eventually blissful happiness when we had the birth of my amazingly beautiful daughter. It took us 8 years.
My general anxiety was always there in the background but nothing so powerful as it was to become.
I reckon my health anxiety began when my aunt died of cancer a few years ago, it kind of brought home that this can happen to anyone at any time and I think the uncontrollable nature of this is what gets me to a certain extent.
I like to be in control of myself, my life, where I’m going and what I’m doing, I like to have a contingency plan for everything, I like to think of all the scenarios that can happen before they do and have an answer for them.
But this cancer thing can just come from no where and scupper your best made plans, leaving all of your hoped for control out the window.
Over the last few years, I’ve convinced myself that I’ve had, Brain Tumours, Tumours in my thigh (Cyst), Anal cancer (Lump Near anus which turned out to be a pile), Bone cancer, Nasopharyngeal cancer (Broken septum), Skin cancer (A number of times), Prostate cancer, stomach cancer, eyelid cancer (Yes I know!), Throat Cancer (Allergy To Milk), Mouth Cancer (Ulcer), Lung cancer, Testicular Cancer (Ultra Sound Found Scrotal Pearls – Calcium Deposits).
These are just some that I can think of off the top of my head, but I’m pretty sure theres many many more.
When I’ve been anxious about these, it has at times lasted weeks and when I’m in that depressive anxious state, I cant eat, I want to curl up in bed and sleep, I just cant stop myself constantly churning facts and articles I’ve read on Google about my symptoms and how theyre definitely signs I have a particular disease at that time.
I don’t just worry about my health either, I worry equally as much about my wifes health, over the years I’ve had myself convinced she had cervical cancer, brain tumours, lung cancer and various other cancers and recently, I’m starting to worry about my little girl.
It’s a horrible state I get myself into to but one I can very rarely get myself out of until a medical professional assures me all is ok.
Anyways, enough about me, I am definitely considering CBT and will soon be going on to medication (Lexapro) to help with my general anxiety and hopefully it’ll help me cope and deal with my health anxietys aswell.
I’m glad to have found this site and am already taking relief that I’m not the only one that suffers from this horrible condition.
I look forward to getting to know ye better as time goes on.
Best of luck, Vix