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I just feel like there is something I'm not grasping In regards to this anxiety hell. I've read and read and read...and it's all about acceptance right? Well, when I wake up in the mornings I am so sick!!! Physically sick. I can hardly function and end up taking medication. How is it possible to accept this? How can you think your way out of this??
Recently tried cipralex, but it hurt my body so I'm just here unsure what to do next. This is just horrible,
Cindy
Rennie1989
01-04-14, 17:30
Firstly, it's accepting that the symptoms will not harm you. The most common complaint regarding anxiety are the horrendous symptoms that are associated with it. The nausea, chest pains, breathlessness, shakes etc etc etc are all triggered by the fight or flight response, which is triggered at the wrong time, resulting in anxiety. As uncomfortable and scary as they are it is very important to not give these symptoms the attention they want, if you feed the symptoms with 'I'm having a heart attack!' 'I'm going to be sick!' 'I'm going crazy!' 'This is awful!' and worst of all 'I'm going to die!!!' will only make the symptoms worse because it's making your anxiety worse, and becomes a vicious circle.
It does sound much easier in theory than practise, but the only way for it to start working is to give it a go. Yes, you won't succeed the first, second or third time but you will begin to see the benefits later on. The naff part of anxiety is that you don't get the benefit of treatment straight away, and it's often more anxiety-provoking at first, but the benefits will be felt, it's about perseverance.
I just feel like there is something I'm not grasping In regards to this anxiety hell. I've read and read and read...and it's all about acceptance right?
It plays a huge part. I make a distinction between 'manufactured acceptance' and 'true acceptance'. The first is where you tell yourself you are accepting but really you are just telling yourself that in the hope your symptoms will disappear. True acceptance is a real letting go. You can feel the difference throughout your body. It's not just a letting go in thought but a letting go in your whole body. Simultaneously you accept not only the feelings in your body/mind but also you accept whatever the consequences are (or what you think they might be). That can be the real difference between the two.
Well, when I wake up in the mornings I am so sick!!! Physically sick. I can hardly function and end up taking medication. How is it possible to accept this?
Is it already happening? Is the symptom already here and now? Then what good does resisting it do? If you have an anxious symptom present then it is ALREADY here. Acceptance would seem like the only sensible solution! But the mind resists feelings because it doesn't feel in control and if you look closely at your own mind you will probably be worrying that if you accept it then it might get worse. Acceptance requires a certain 'throwing caution to the wind'. Acceptance requires that you let go of the physical and mental tension and 'let come what may'.
Acceptance doesn't rid the body of pain. Imagine having a broken wrist. You can accept the pain but it isn't going to take it away completely. Acceptance just makes everything flow much smoother and without the suffering. If you didn't accept the pain then you would tense and worry and stress and spin endless stories about it in your head.
If you are being physically sick everyday with AND without anxiousness then maybe you get checked out by a doctor.
How can you think your way out of this??
you can't. that's why we get stuck in this for so long.
Thank you for the answers. It has given me some good food for thought. If I didn't have a job, I would love to take this one day at a time and try to work my way through it. It is so hard when regular life has to continue. I want to try some natural substances to try to dull the anxiety, but am pretty confused on those too. There are too many!! Part of me does not want to get on there medication roller coaster full time...and plus maybe it is harder to get over if you are Dulling the feelings. I don't know. Still new to all this.
LiveAboveIt
01-04-14, 19:41
I'm getting better everyday. I figured I'd let you know what I'm doing, it may work for you. The number one thing is to disallow yourself from worrying about your symptoms. Feel them all you want, dislike them all you want, but do your absolute best not to let them get you down. It might feel fake at first, it did with me, but just keep telling yourself that this is the way to do and it will go away. Worry is the #1 cause of this thing sticking around. So you need to live and pretend like you dont have it. Its incredibly difficult at first, but it gets easier everyday. I'm to the point where I still have it, but I barely feel it and my mind is losing its grip on it. You gotta stop worrying about your symptoms, recognize them for what they are.. Allow yourself to be afraid of them and dont get angry if you are afraid or discomforted by the symptoms and the anxiety.
In time, if you leave it alone, it will begin to fade.
Hopefully that helps.
It DOES work. But you might have to find the faith for yourself.
Liveaboveit...
Thank you for your help. To me, so new at this, it sounds impossible, but I am willing to try for sure. I guess my fear is that it won't work for me, or I'll have it forever. Those are probably false irrational fears...but I can't seem to help it at the moment. When I wake up in the morning so anxious and sick...i wonder what I could say to myself to start the day. It is way too easy for me to focus on symptoms, and then feel sorry for myself. I get stuck in the WHY ME mode. Although coming to this forum has helped me realize that it is not just me. I'm grateful for that.
Cindy
LiveAboveIt
02-04-14, 04:23
Liveaboveit...
Thank you for your help. To me, so new at this, it sounds impossible, but I am willing to try for sure. I guess my fear is that it won't work for me, or I'll have it forever. Those are probably false irrational fears...but I can't seem to help it at the moment. When I wake up in the morning so anxious and sick...i wonder what I could say to myself to start the day. It is way too easy for me to focus on symptoms, and then feel sorry for myself. I get stuck in the WHY ME mode. Although coming to this forum has helped me realize that it is not just me. I'm grateful for that.
Cindy
It's completely normal, trust me.. We ALL go through those thoughts.. "Something must be wrong with me.. This isn't normal.. This feels so surreal, this can't be a real thing.. I don't understand why I have to live like this. Will this ever go away?"
Absolutely normal. As transient as the anxiety is, it's almost always the same in everyone, in how it works. It WILL go away. It's honestly just a mind thing. The only reason it won't go away with thought is because your mind is exhausted.. The negative thoughts have become habit and your nerves are sensitized from stress..
Your mind doesn't know what to do or how to react with what's going on, so it's constantly pumping excess adrenalin and causing worrysome racing thoughts in an attempt to figure out what's wrong. It's TRYING to help you, in all honesty.
You need to treat your mind like a friendly child. Your mind is causing the anxiety to protect you, but doesn't realize that it's in vain. You need to coddle your mind and tell it that everything is alright. Just like a child, it will resist and continue to be afraid and panicky.. It takes awhile for everything to adjust, for the negative thoughts to change to positive. But eventually, with enough positive affirmation, your mind will begin to understand that it's nothing to fear. Both the anxiety and symptoms will fade, please trust me.
You are not alone. It's difficult to understand WHY this happens. To this present day, I have no idea.. Some of us are more anxious than others.. However, I DO know how to get out of the cycle and get the anxiety to leave. It just takes faith, patience, and positive affirmation to your brain that everything is fine.
The thing is, your brain can't FEEL the symptoms like you can. It can only feel you worry and panic, and therefor sends out even more adrenalin and puts your body into fight or flight, because it thinks you're calling for it. If you can convince your brain overtime, that everything is fine, it WILL listen to you.
Thank you so much. I'm going to write down everything you said!! And I will test out a few things in the morning. I've had a terrible and scary day...wondering if i should be medicated...trying to get my husband to understand....and all the while getting very depressed about how my body feels. It is weird...I feel like it comes from my body and not my mind, since it all started after a terrible couple rounds of antibiotics. Anynow, I can't tell you how helpful your posts have been to me today. So thank you so much for that!!!
Cindy.
MyNameIsTerry
02-04-14, 04:49
Cindy,
The advice you are getting on here is excellent, it always is.
But I just noticed that you mentioned it all started after anti biotics. There are some people who have experienced side effects from anti biotics and some believe it to be Candida in the gut because anti biotics kill off the good flora. I wonder if that is the source of yours?
GP's don't seem very aware of it but there are natural ways to treat it by cutting out sugar and taking probiotics which are available everywhere.
I don't want to say it is this but it just seems that you have a trigger point here and it pops up against Candida. So, it might be worth investigating because it might be treatable.
I would still suggest using everything you are being told on here though as it will only help you.
It's difficult with anxiety because most of mine is sensations as opposed to thoughts except for my OCD. It's just all the adrenaline all the time.
LiveAboveIt
02-04-14, 06:08
MyNameIsTerry may have something. It's always a possibility. But don't fret, if it is indeed that, it is easily treatable.. Either way, follow my advice as well, as it will only help you cope with whatever is mentally exhausting you. Nothing lasts forever. :)
Hi Cindy
I am very much in a similar situation as you. Every morning is a struggle, because as soon as my eyes are open, I feel it. The physical weakness. My legs feel shaky even before I get up. When I get up I feel lightheaded. That's how my day begins. But it has to, because I need to go to work and act there as a normal productive person.
I am still baffled by the idea that all this could be because of anxiety. It would be easier to accept if my doctors would have been able to confirm it straight away, but they haven't. I think I am a little bit atypical case or I am such a good actor at the doctors office as well that they do not see it. All this makes it tough to accept for me.
My strongest confirmation is that taking oxazepam seem to relieve my symptoms. My head feels clearer and I can think.
Another confirmation is the fact that even I feel lightheaded and am afraid that I will pass out my vitals are more or less fine. Blood pressure is not low, oxygen saturation and heart rate are acceptable. So there's no physiological grounds for passing out. So the feeling must come from somewhere else.
And as a third I try to think that because I have felt this before and nothing worse has happened, why should it happen now.
So I am trying to think positive and trust that the meds will do their part also. But right this moment it ain't easy.
All the best to you.
Thanks to both! I have been on strong probiotics and eating a very clean diet for at least six weeks...and long before it happened too. So I'm not sure, but I know physically I am doing what I can. The other things you have mentioned are what I'm going to try. I woke up as usual feeling terrible.,and came here reading over your posts. I feel a bit calmer trying to accept how I feel. It is going to be hard at first I think...
Thanks again
Cindy
I just feel like there is something I'm not grasping In regards to this anxiety hell. I've read and read and read...and it's all about acceptance right? Well, when I wake up in the mornings I am so sick!!! Physically sick. I can hardly function and end up taking medication. How is it possible to accept this? How can you think your way out of this??
Recently tried cipralex, but it hurt my body so I'm just here unsure what to do next. This is just horrible,
Cindy
What does your doctor say? Maybe get a second opinion if things aren't working out. I do believe you have to accept your circumstances as its the only way to move on. There will be light at the end of the tunnel and maybe you need to get referred for an operation or further testing to try and come to the root of your sickness. Best of luck to you.
LiveAboveIt
02-04-14, 19:38
I sometimes still struggle with mornings, but they are getting better.. The number one thing that makes it worse/harder is when I forget the positive affirmation, and instead I sit there in my misery. Remember to tell yourself:
"This is anxiety.. This is what anxiety does. I will not have this forever. Anxiety will go away when I STOP trying to make it go away."
Just gotta keep reaffirming, even if you dont believe it right away, your mind will follow suit.
If we are not afraid of the way we feel and the associated thinking, then we would all recover, for sure.
Anxiety is an emotion, not an illness. Our continuous feeding of it with added fear is what maintains it. The problem is that our minds urge us to try and control anxiety, which is impossible. If we could control it, it would not exist as an issue.
Acceptance is an attitude, not a thinking process. You need to teach your mind to back off and tell it that it doesn't need to get involved, however strongly it may wish to. Your mind, attempting to control or solve the anxiety will only cause more anxiety.
Also: I'm not sure if I've ever mentioned this, but.. I've had this anxiety cycle before, as many of us have.. Being stuck in the anxiety and it's symptoms for DAYS, weeks, months. Especially my first time, because I had NO idea what it was or what caused it. I was for sure that I was going crazy or something was wrong with me physically.
The funny thing is that I somehow accidentally managed to get rid of it. It continued to come back, but I managed to get rid of it a few more times. After some introspective thinking, I'm managed to figure out why I was always able to get the anxiety to leave and also why it has continued to return. The very thing that I have been telling you.. Acceptance.. I used to get so scared, but I was tired of sitting in it, being afraid.. So I got to a point where I would just continue to tell myself "It's okay.. I can get through this.. I refuse to be afraid of this any longer.. I'm going to live my life despite feeling this way." Because, for all I knew, I was going to have this forever. But, fortunately, it always went away after reaching this point. It's not an overnight process, but.. That acceptance tells your brain that nothing is wrong and it will eventually stop endlessly searching for something to be afraid of, and ALL of your symptoms will subside at once. This can take days, weeks, etc.. Depending on your situation, how you think, believe, etc. But it ALWAYS goes away. You just gotta have faith and leave it alone.
It may seem strange and foreign and we may never understand WHY this happens, but.. We know how to break the cycle and get back to our normal lives.
I get what you're saying..I think. I am struggling with understanding the difference between acknowledgment, and ignoring. So we accept the anxiety and don't fight it. We talk positively to ourselves that it will pass. Isn't this a form of fighting it and giving it attention?? And is it possible that we try so Hard to ignore, that we are also giving it too much attention?? I hear what you're saying when you say it's an attitude, not a thinking process...but do you have to go through a thinking process to adopt that attitude? Maybe I am overthinking this...but I want to do it right. :).
Cindy
I get what you're saying..I think. I am struggling with understanding the difference between acknowledgment, and ignoring. So we accept the anxiety and don't fight it. We talk positively to ourselves that it will pass. Isn't this a form of fighting it and giving it attention?? And is it possible that we try so Hard to ignore, that we are also giving it too much attention?? I hear what you're saying when you say it's an attitude, not a thinking process...but do you have to go through a thinking process to adopt that attitude? Maybe I am overthinking this...but I want to do it right. :).
Cindy
Float through it and just let the anxiety burn itself out,it takes a bit of practice but it eventually works
Thanks mr. Andy...for telling me it gets better. It was not easy today...the day is not over...it is hard to float when I want to scream and yell and cry. Really can't do that when I work in a library. Haha :)
Ps...is it normal to feel tired and a bit out of it when the anxiety has burned out?
LiveAboveIt
02-04-14, 22:36
You have to change your perception of acceptance, as it is not a thought process.. It's not so much ignoring it, as it is 'learning to live WITH it.' Constant reassurance that it's alright. You need to work on NOT being afraid of the way it feels and have faith that all the worries/thoughts are false and the symptoms WILL subside when you get there.
---------- Post added at 16:36 ---------- Previous post was at 16:34 ----------
The biggest idea that you have to come to terms with is.. There is no magical cure. No medication. No magical 'thought' that will suddenly make it all go away in a moment's notice. It is a process. It's like anything in life, when you are leaning something tough, you will fall, but continue to persevere and you will reach your goal.
Do you think that to take medication then...would just delay the cure? Just curious, I am currently on no medication.
LiveAboveIt
03-04-14, 05:24
Do you think that to take medication then...would just delay the cure? Just curious, I am currently on no medication.
Absolutely not. I believe that for some people, medication can lift your mood and help you better manage your anxiety. It can give you that "edge."
The problem with medication is.. Many people are looking for an easy way out.. They begin taking the medication to dull the symptoms or issue and then forget about it completely, assuming the meds will heal them.
So long as you focus on your goal and don't treat medication as an end-all cure, they can absolutely be of great help to center your mind, enough that you have an easier time working through your anxiety or whatever else might be bothering you.
Might I also suggest therapy of some sort, if you aren't already seeing a therapist? Can really help to vent your frustrations and get an outside perspective.
Hi Cindy,
There is some excellent advise going on here.
Can you now see how you are desperately trying to make yourself better. That's so natural. We all do it. But the thing about anxiety is that this struggle sends a message of danger to yourself. It causes anxiety, worry.
The physical symptoms are real... But they are harmless and all part of the anxiety system, known as flight or fight.
Don't try accepting, hoping that this will get rid of the symptoms. This is the hardest part.
True acceptance has no expectation of an outcome. Read this again... If you try and accept to rid yourself of the symptoms then you are just struggling again.
Just try and be willing to have these horrible feelings for a while and stop trying to do something about it. You will never work it out, that's a waiste of time.
You have joined a huge number of people ( millions) who find this very tricky, so don't blame yourself.
But believe this... If you start to not care so much about how you feel now, and try and stay a little less tight in your body and especially with your worry, then you just need to let time pass to feel better. You don't have to cure yourself, this happens without your intervention.
Here are some things to understand...
What you resist, persists.
You will not get better until you stop trying to get better.
Give up your desire to control the way you feel.
Do you see how everything becomes a paradox... Your questions are the questions we all go through in our minds and it ties us in knots mentally. Your mind cannot solve paradoxes...
Eg .. I could tell you everything I say is a lie. Can you work this out, am I lying?
Give your mind a rest, isn't that a relief! Just keep reminding yourself you are not going to come up with a solution, so stop trying.
And just for info... I find myself doing all of this... That's why I am still on my journey towards recovery!
Phil
when I first became ill with anxiety every moment of the day I would think about when I would recover,how quickly ,next week a month a year ! ?
As i settled down I came to the conclusion putting a timescale on this thing would only frustrate me and make things worse,this helped enormously and I believe is part of acceptance.You will get better but it takes time and a bit of patience,just keep going and be strong
hi cindy I have too back your corner on this one having spent time in st georges due to anxiety I am a big believer in in it being a chemical mess up in the brain for "Certain people"
there was no way accepting my thoughts/symptoms would have cured me load of rubbish it just presented new ones
also if I over indulge in alcohol I can activate my fight or flight system over the slightest twinge however since being T Total for a fortnight even the most morbid thought doesn't bother me 3 weeks ago id have been steaming round my living room at a negative thought seems surreal looking back now
tk care kris
Hi Kris
its not a load of rubbish but will be different for each person,
I also spent nearly 3 months in the nuthouse and I am now nearly 100% ,acceptance or whatever you want to call it helped me enormously.I think what we are all trying to get across is that there is no point fighting the anxiety as it only fuels it further
yes your right ill rephrase my quote it was a load of rubbish in my case
You are all extremely helpful. Every point of view. Thanks, it is really helping me think things through. My doctor and a friend told me that medication was necessary because it would top up, or fix the chemicals that are low in the brain. I don't know if I believe this or not, and I'm not sure I want to try medications again. I can see myself trying them if this goes on and on, and I get tired of it.
I do get the paradox thing. It was what I was asking yesterday. I thought that by trying so hard to avoid thinking about it...I was in fact thinking About it too much.
Good luck everyone with your day. I do have another question, but I feel like I've been asking too many questions.
Cindy
Cindy ask your questions this is what the site is for to give advice and support
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