Panic attacks\prolonged anxiety & OCD.

[RobW73!]

Hi there,

I've just registered on this site and have already posted in the "introduce yourself" section, but felt it appropriate to post here to better discuss my current situation.

I've been susceptible to periods of panic attacks, extreme anxiety and some form of OCD on and off for the past eight years. During that time I've also been on and off medication, which has been fluoxetine 20mg. I've also been working with a counselor and until very recently I have been well.

Recently I have, like many become aware through the media of the events in Ukraine, which have got steadily worse. Since the beginning of March, I have found myself on a downward spiral, constantly having panic attacks and extreme anxiety imagining the very worst case scenarios - which I can;t even commit to writing in case in some way it causes it to actually happen. Honestly, I've never experienced a sense of fear and dread like this before. I'm even scared of jets passing overhead and other loud noises!

It's completely taken over my life and I find myself trawling the net and other media for any snippet of information, no matter how extreme. I flick between SkyNews and the BBC almost every other minute - though I am trying to avoid doing this, but so far to little avail.

In my more lucid periods I know that this is unlikely to happen (as is often the case, a compromise will be found in time), but the imagery in my mind is vivid and disturbing and refuses to go away. I was having nightmares every night until last week but these have subsided, but the moment I wake I feel a sense of dread overtake me.

Whats making this worse, is that I recently became a father and have another on the way and all I want to do is protect my family and watch my kids grow up safely. everyone else I've even mentioned this to does not seem concerned and this makes me think, that I am either ahead of the curve or going mad.

I would really appreciate any thoughts comments on what is happening to me.

[rachybabe]

Hi rob, I too have suffered anxiety, depression, ocd also phobias for about twelve years. It started when my father passed away, I was working alot, instead of grieving, that was the wrong thing to do, I had a breakdown, I was put on a cocktail of tablets to sedate me. Ive done well, ive come off 3 of the meds, still on the one, but im finding it difficult to go back to work. I have these feelings of dread, but I try to control it, dont let it control you. Its a big responsibility with family to look after. I now have lost my mum and aunts and uncles, but I have alot of support off my husband, friends and family, I do know how you feel.

[RobW73!]

Hi Rachybabe, thanks for the reply. It's nice to know that I'm not alone. Whats different for me this time, is that i'm not suffering because of possible health issue (which is what normally triggers one of these events), but rather a fear of what might happen on a wider existential scale.

I just want these feelings to go away!

[Oosh]

Hi

I saw a Horizon on anxiety. Out of a group of babies they discovered which ones were introverts and prone to anxiety with a lemon juice/saliva test.
Then they went on to monitor them throughout their lives.
Later, in adulthood, they had them back and discovered which of the group went on to have successful lives.
Baring in mind they all still had the same anxiety prone nervous systems now that they had at birth.
They used brain scans to show blood flow to certain parts of the brain. They concluded that all still had the sensitive nervous systems but the ones that had managed it had developed a calming inner dialogue. This brain activity wasn't present in the others.

I recently read a book called The Chimp Paradox in which the model is
1. The limbic system in the brain is is the ancient part, the chimp part. It gets emotional every day. Anxious, angry and all the other emotions we encounter everyday from anxiety over the news to road rage.
2. The frontal lobe is the human side that came later. It is the voice of reason in your head. It calms you when you (the chimp) get emotional.
Damage to the frontal lobe leaves basically a psychopath, angry, emotional, abusive, chimp like.

I think when you're clearly losing that battle in your mind and the chimp/sensitive nervous system is running wild you build up that calming, reassuring side. It's weak so does need building up. Talk to yourself rationally, reassuringly as you would your scared child.
Thoughts create feelings. You can change your state with thoughts and images.
It's a tool you can carry around with you everywhere.
It's a muscle that will grow stronger with use.

Check there's nothing physiological causing an increase in your anxiety levels.
Nutrition, rest, steer clear of sugar, alcohol etc

Anxiety levels can rise if neurotransmitter levels are low. Serotonin promotes calming effects so if low it could explain why anxiety feels out of control.
I think somebody in the Prozac section earlier said they got those levels checked via a nutritionist. (Have to check that)

Another angle - recently became a father ? You sleeping ok ? People turn I to nervous wrecks in the early days. Lack of sleep can send worry through the roof.

How long ago did you come off Prozac ? I found it difficult for months coming off Prozac. I think it was actually years before I felt acceptable though and thought many times about going back on. I never did and generally feel ok now.

Congratulations on having your baby. Great times a head !

[RobW73!]

Hi Oosh,

I've been on and off Prozac for about 8 years. I re-started them again at the beginning of March. Our DD is nearly two (so not *that* recent) and the new arrival is due in 11 weeks. Worryingly, I've started to self medicate my dosage from 20mg to 40mg a day - I know that this is not clever.

Actually, one point you did mention - my job is stressful and I drink a fair amount of coffee. Normally an espresso in the morning and a latte during the day. I've not had any for a couple of weeks, while I was signed off work. Thinking about it this probably hasn't helped things.

Just being online here and talking to others has already made me feel somewhat better - I#m quite rational and lucid today, though I've had a few wobbles.

[Oosh]

Ah right. So yeh, restarting Prozac and coffee abstinence definitely going to mess with your moods.
I've had a big coffee habit and then tea habit although I've now cut right down and drink lots of flavoured sparkling water now. I feel way better and my immune system feels much stronger.
But if I stopped coffee/tea eventually at some point I'd feel a significant drop in mood. Messes with your dopamine levels I think.

I liked a lot about Prozac. Created a better than well state. Unfortunately I didn't think it helped my anxiety. Stopped my worries ! But had nervousness which was tricky. I liked that it was very stimulating though as opposed to the others which send you to sleep.

[RobW73!]

So the last couple of days have seen my mood lighten somewhat. I don;t know whether it's because I've increased my prozac dosage or because actually finding this site has made me realise that I'm not alone. Or that my thought processes are becoming more lucid again.

Obviously I know that I will probably have days (could be today, tomorrow or next week) where my anxiety will kick back in - but for today at least I'm feeling normal.

[RobW73!]

spoke too soon!