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Ross
01-12-06, 15:53
Translation Of A Female's Dating Agency Advert

40-ish - 49

Adventurous - Slept with everyone

Athletic - No Breasts

Average looking - Ugly

Beautiful - Pathological liar

Contagious Smile - Does a lot of Illegal Drugs

Emotionally secure - On medication

Feminist - Fat

Free spirit - Junkie

Friendship first - Former very *friendly* person

Fun - Annoying

New Age - Body hair in the wrong places

Open-minded - Desperate

Outgoing - Loud and Embarrassing

Passionate - Sloppy drunk

Professional - Bitch

Voluptuous - Very Fat

Large frame - Hugely Fat

Wants Soul mate - Stalker


Language Of The Sexes

WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

1. Yes = No

2. No = Yes

3. Maybe = No

4. We need = I want

5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry

6. We need to talk = you're in trouble

7. Sure, go ahead = you better not

8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later

9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!

10. You're very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?

MEN'S ENGLISH

1. I am hungry = I am hungry

2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy

3. I am tired = I am tired

4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

5. I love you = let's have sex now

6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?

7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you

8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you

9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you

10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you

11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay

------------------------------------------------
Is There Really Gravity, Or Does Earth Just Suck?

suzy1984
01-12-06, 16:03
:D:D:D
Hehe thanks for that Ross made me giggle & it all looks very true! :D
Suzy x

manmoor
01-12-06, 16:29
Lololol Ohhh don't we just love the English language!!!

Take Care

Mandyxx

Chopper
01-12-06, 16:38
Nice one Ross!

I'm sure there's a male equivalent too ......

average height = 5' 5"
youthful = spotty
average weight = but all in the wrong places
outgoing = talks sh*#
sporty = spectator
likes contemporary art = watched the Saw trilogy in one sitting
sociable = pi*#head
likes the countryside = dogger![:O]
cultured = prefers Blue Nun to Black Tower
well read = Gazza's autobiography

Happiness and light to all,
'Chopper'


I saw her once, one little while, and then no more:
’Twas Eden’s light on Earth a while, and then no more.
Amid the throng she passed along the meadow-floor:
Spring seemed to smile on Earth awhile, and then no more;
But whence she came, which way she went, what garb she wore
I noted not; I gazed a while, and then no more!

James Clarence Mangan 1803 - 1849

mingsy
01-12-06, 16:39
:) Thanks Ross made me giggle:)

JANE

darkangel
01-12-06, 17:43
so thats where i have been going wrong DOH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



........life is for living not just for surviving

Melxxx
01-12-06, 22:59
Thanks Ross.

That made me smile :D:D:D

Love

Mel


The kindness we extend to others in their their hour of need will return to us at the time we most need it.

mackncody
02-12-06, 05:20
<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">Translation Of A Female's Dating Agency Advert


Language Of The Sexes

WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

1. Yes = No

2. No = Yes

</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">

That is not true![Duh!]:D The mens stuff is all true though and hilarious...

If nothing else...I will survive.

To: SSJHSMH-U are light and my heart and strength. I will protect you in this life or the next always.

mazz
06-12-06, 16:36
TOO FUNNY TOO TRUE LOL
MAZZ X

anxious
07-12-06, 10:24
:D:Dvery good:D:D

anx x

Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects