Don't know what to do anymore

[Florance]

Really just dont know how to cope anymore, keep trying to tell myself to stay calm and not to worry too much. But I cant seem to manage that. I am still having pain in my shoulder and neck as well as I now seem to have tingling at the top of my back and pain in my lower back and right hip. My head is telling me its cancer, either lung or breast. I also have IBS and intolerance to gluten which made me very unwell last year. I am not sure if its stress? My mum is battling cancer for a third time and she is really unwell atm. She called this morning to say she cant even keep water down. She is on tablets that are supposed to kill the blood supply to the tumour. Its kind of a last chance thing and it seems its not working :( a lot has been going on recently and I feel like i cant take much more. I am scared that I also have cancer and I am going to die and leave my children :( I am a single mum and I suddenly will cry at the drop of a hat thinking about leaving them :( I feel like I am going crazy and I keep really freaking out.

[Phuzella]

Be there for your mum:)

[Florance]

I have been there for her through all of her cancer, over the last 3 years, I have been there for every scan, every operation, all of her treatment. Ive even cleaned up her vomit after chemo and nursed her after her operations. As a family we dont have much outside support and I am just feeling overwhelmed with everything/ But despite that I will be there for here. I am taking her for a scan today. I am just finding it hard to cope at the moment.

[HoneyLove]

It sounds like you have a lot to deal with at the moment, it must be hard seeing your mum go through her cancer treatment.

Have you any stress management techniques or processes in place for yourself? When you're going through all of this you need something to help you manage the stress, otherwise it does feel overwhelming.

[Phuzella]

I know what you're going through, I was in the same position with my own mum 22 years ago, and my husband 3 years ago. To be doing all you are, shows what a strong person you are even though it doesn't feel like it.
Maybe ask your doctor if they can help with stress management?

[Florance]

I listen to relaxing music and I do photography and read, to try and manage some of the stress. I was considering taking some time out from work, which is also very stressful. thank you both for your replies I appreciate them very much.

[mummyanxious]

Does the hospital/care ages under not offer support for carers?

[Florance]

my mum refuses help outside of the family so it makes it difficult. I work full time and have 2 young kids, and look after my mum

[HoneyLove]

You should have some say in the situation too, you have a lot on your plate. Outside help can be a huge relief for everyone involved, I've seen it in my own family. You've got to be realistic about the situation and what one person can handle. I'm sure your mum wouldn't like to think of you feeling so overwhelmed with stress all for lack of help.

As a small thing, to help reduce the levels of stress you are feeling, you could try listening to a very short relaxation in the mornings before you get out of bed. Just a 10 minutes video on YouTube on your phone. Something short, but effective in engaging stress relief hormones in your body.

[mummyanxious]

I mean help for you as a carer for your mother.

[Florance]

thank you both for your advice I will see what I can do to get some extra support