insecurities

[Lyrica]

Some people look in the mirror and see their insecurities reflected back at them. But mine are deeper than the surface. Recently ive been thinking about what it is that makes me...me.
I feel so insecure about who I am. My anxiety makes me feel so ashamed. People of my life know about my anxiety and I feel like they see me as weak. They are concerned about me all the time. No one will confined in me because they think I can't handle their problems. People spend time with me out of sympathy not because they want my company.

I feel like my anxiety has stolen me. What it is to be me and who I am. I have support and I feel like I don't even have the right to complain because there are other who fight this battle alone.

[a2d1234]

Hey there,

there is absolutely no reason to be ashamed of your anxiety. If people think that they can't confide in you, prove them wrong. If you pretend you're strong all the time, they won't buy it. It's definitely okay to feel vulnerable sometimes! I suggest you start by making people tell you little secrets or surprises they're planning because it will be easier for them to tell you about something that's not a huge deal at first. It's hard for them to tell anyone, not just you. In time, people will be more and more open to you.

Hope I helped,
Audrey:)

[MyNameIsTerry]

I think because you have an anxiety disorder, people believe you will not be able to handle things. There may be some truth to this when you are at the worst point but as you improve, so does your ability to handle situations.

Some things may not be an issue either. It's entirely possible that you could handle something which would make somebody without an anxiety disorder, very anxious. It's often the little daily things we struggle whilst we may be able to handle the big things. I've had a couple of things that should have made me very anxious but I dealt with them easily, but then I'm struggling the same day with the basic stuff!

[Oosh]

I remember in my first years of struggling with all of "this" after observing how I was being, behaving, feeling, I said to a "friend" who really didn't care in the slightest "I'm insecure. That's what it is. "
I had become DEEPLY insecure, which was difficult for me to grasp because I'd previously been THE most secure person you could have known.

The way you feel in your post, the things you've pointed out that are bothering you, listen to them. They're telling you things about yourself.

Insecurity/security is like a scale and you can be at certain points on it.
It's based on, like you say, how you observe yourself and who you are.

There are things you value and that you know others value and if you observe yourself being these things then you like, value yourself and feel secure in who you are. You feel complete, confident, strong, RESILIENT and you feel YOURSELF.

When you observe yourself and see things you don't value and you know others don't value you are like a bucket with a hole in it. It doesn't matter if you're confident in other areas you'll find your mind focusing on the perceived flaws in yourself and any confidence you have in yourself with leak away.

You can be sure that your subconscious watches throughout the day and adjusts your feelings of security/insecurity throughout the day. And it will also be sending you messages about its observations in the form of pain and insecurity.

Black/white
Ying/yang
Insecurity/security

If one exists then the other has to exist. You can, by the sheer knowledge that insecurity exists, make the journey to the other end of the scale (feeling secure) by listening to the messages your subconscious is pointing out to you and making changes.

If you see what you don't want then you can see what you DO want.

Whether we like it or not these reward systems are built into our bodies hardware to make us feel safe in the group. If you don't feel you're liked, accepted, valued by your people your bodies hardware will start to make you anxious and insecure to point you in the right direction.
This is why so many people are destroyed by bullying because it's exclusion, rejection by your group.
Conversely, feeling liked, valued by your group triggers our bodies reward systems making you feel secure, confident in yourself.

You are not stuck at the "insecure" end on that scale. It moves up and down.

Listen to what your subconscious is telling you.
Ask it who it wants you to be.
Liked, respected, valued for your UNDOUBTABLE qualities, people HAPPY that you're in their lives, people coming to you with problems when they're unhappy and you being able to help because you KNOW what it's like at that end of the scale, you've LIVED there.
Value yourself !
Become the person you were meant to be !
It's impossible to not be full of admirable, likeable qualities, what are yours ?

A bump in the road - it's hard to change people's perception of you once they've known you as a certain way for so long. It takes time and in my opinion it's easier to be a different you around different people.

I used to look inside and feel that numbness and feel boring. "Who'd want to be MY friend ?? Look how I feel"
I went on a two year college course to be an electrician. First year carrying the insecurity, avoiding.
But in the second year I found myself bursting out laughing at the humorous moments. And on observing myself doing this that insecurity/security slider got turned right up. That hole in the bucket got fixed and the bucket started to fill up to the top.
The insecurity I THOUGHT was real actually wasn't.
I laughed and joked like everyone else !
In the space of one year I was transformed. I hadn't felt as confident since I was back in school surrounded by friends who valued and respected me.
I was ME again ! I felt MYSELF again !

You haven't lost who you are. You're just receiving messages telling you where "who you are" is waiting for you.

Change is scary but do you want to shine and be the you you're meant to be or not ?
Do NOT let fear stop you. Feel the fear and do it ANYWAY. Go on that journey so you can find the you you want to be amongst the group you want to be valued by.
The reward systems that'll be triggered will be better than any antidepressant.

Where you are in life at the moment is making you unhappy. If you do the same you'll feel the same. Only on the journey will you be surprised at how the way you feel changes.

[Cheesemonster13]

It's easy to be "strong" when you feeling relatively secure, but actually I think tackling inner turmoil is a real challenge because it undermines your sense of worth and trust in yourself, and you cannot escape it. All of us dealing with extreme anxiety (and other associated issues) ARE courageous and strong, because every day we find ways to deal with unpleasant symptoms and get through the day.

Unfortunately, because we are listening to our own negativity which affects our perceptions of ourselves and the world outside, we do not give ourselves the credit that we are due. We quite often project our own view of ourself onto other people who are more concerned with their own "weaknesses", and we are too ready to listen to ignorant people who tell us how easy it is to overcome something that they themselves haven't experienced.

You are still there inside, but all that you are going through will make you even stronger, compassionate towards others and more self-aware. It's hard to believe (I know), but there is a positive way of viewing all of this.