I've just had enough! Liver worries

[allyp82]

Sorry for the long post I need to vent and am feeling very low today.

So I suffer from health anxiety and have done probably since I was in my early teens. I've been scared of many things - sudden adult death, pregnancy when I hadn't slept with anyone, heart problems after losing a family member, chronic pancreatitis are the main ones with many other fears along the way such as cancers, brain tumours etc.

However my current fear - liver cirrhosis (as was the pancreatitis fear) is a very real possibility given that I have abused alcohol for 9 years, self medicating my anxiety and depression. I'm 31 and started drinking heavily after the death of a family member. I've been drinking a bottle of wine a day sometimes slightly more. I have a 1 yr old daughter and didn't drink at all during my pregnancy but I haven't adapted well to motherhood and my anxiety and depression have returned as did the drinking, even though I intended to not go back to drinking heavily again. I just found it all too much and needed to relax in the evenings (which is what my drinking has always been about - I just want to relax!)

Anyway so I have been having itchy feet at night for ages, I can't remember if it started in pregnancy or before. It never went away after having my daughter and seemed to get worse. I just kept putting it to the back of my mind.

After Xmas I had a googling session and realised itchy feet can be from liver problems. I had a major panic, anxiety sky rockets and I went to A&E convinced I had cirrhosis. I also have fatigue and nausea and dry mouth. They tested my blood (all normal) and felt my liver. Lovely doctor spent ages talking to me, told me I have anxiety not cirrhosis to stop drinking and treat the anxiety.

I was reassured but only for a few days. So I booked myself a private ultrasound scan. All was normal but she flagged up possible enlargement of a bile duct - trigger even more anxiety! GP did a repeat ultrasound and it came up clear no enlarged bile duct.

Still worried about my liver, I booked a private fibroscan package (leaving me skint!) fibroscan measure fibrosis in the liver by soundwaves. Also had bloods and consultant appt with it. Bloods all normal and fibroscan was 'only just within normal range). The consultant was not very nice at all and kept shaking his head and saying he just 'didn't know' about this liver - great for my anxiety!!! He said to stop drinking and he'd see me in 6 months. Since then I've found out he is a well known specialist (having treated George best!) and hates alcohol so my husband and even my gp think he was scaring me to get me to stop drinking.

So I have no tests that say I have liver disease but my body says different. I was told my liver fat was slightly increased from the fibroscan but that didn't even show up on the ultrasound. The consultant also said that I should be having 6 month blood tests :-( the letter from him to my gp simply said I should abstain from alcohol for a period before restarting alcohol up to 10 units a week. Mixed messages!

So I started citalopram. The. I got petechiae on my arms and bruises - also cirrhosis symptoms so I stopped the citalopram thinking it may be further damaging my liver or stopping it from getting better. I now have what I think may be a spider angioma on my chest. I haven't drank alcohol for over 2 months (bar 3 drinks on Mother's Day which I regret) but I don't feel any better. My feet still itch and it's moved into my hands. I also have vague aching throbbing pains in my liver area which is a recent developement.


I feel sure there is something wrong with my liver and it's just a matter of time before it shows up on tests.

It's another 4 months till the next fibroscan and it feels forever. So tired of all this and its all my own fault as usual. I've been here before with a pancreatitis fear caused by alcohol 4 years ago! I might die from this and have to leave my daughter and it's my own fault!

Anyone had experience of liver cirrhosis?

[mummyanxious]

Remember that the liver is the only organ capable of healingvitselfvwhy abstaining for a period will do you masses of good. You know all this and you know that drinking heavily us bad for you.
I've no idea what spider angiomas are or petache. I've seen people taking about these, have a rough idea and think I may have one myself but I've had liver bloods which were fine. I also have had pancreatitis caused by gallstones. I no longer have a gallbladder.
Only you can stop the drinking.
Have you tried milk thistle supplement? That's supposed to be good for liver function.

[Florance]

Any problems with your liver would show up on blood tests. If you had cirrhosis then your liver wouldn not function properly. Most people have some fat on their liver but most dont know as not everyone has abdo ultra sound scans. When I had a US abdo, it came back with some fatty liver, which my dr said was nothing to worry about. it sounds to me like you just need to stick to reducing your alcohol intake. The liver has the capacity to self repair to a certain extent. Also there are other symptoms of cirrhosis I wont go into as it will only fuel your anxiety, and you havent mentioned any of them. Try and relax and enjoy your little girl and live a day at a time

[allyp82]

Thank you both for your replies.

I have been taking milk thistle as I have also heard this is good for the liver. I've also been taking multi vitamins that are designed for liver health. I was hoping stopping the wine would have made me feel better but it just hasn't.

I have been told by 2 GPs and 2 A&E doctors that I do not have cirrhosis but the hepatologist I saw when I had the fibroscan just scared the living day lights out of me. He kept saying that the results were only 'just' ok and the only really way of knowing was to do a biopsy which they wouldn't do based on my results. It made me feel like I could have cirrhosis without even knowing!

Even though I have some liver fat it is obviously not enough to actually diagnose fatty liver disease and didn't even show up on the ultrasound so I am trying to take positives from that.

I have read people's own comments on another forum where they have had cirrhosis despite normal blood results and ultrasounds which has also scared me beyond belief. So I don't get much comfort from my blood results being ok.

I have not drank alcohol for over 8 weeks (bar one day) and will continue to remain that way. I am working on losing weight too as I am over weight, I've lost a stone and a half so far, but I am despondent as I was really hoping to feel a bit better by now in my symptoms.

I am hoping to be tested for ferritin blood levels for iron deficiency as the gp said low ferritin can cause itching. I did lose a large amount of blood during birth so I am clinging onto that at the mo. I took iron tablets after but didn't finish them.

Thanks again for your replies.

[mummyanxious]

Interesting RE the low ferratin. Mine is lower end of normal and I've been itching lately :/

[allyp82]

mummyanxious just out of interest what is your ferritin level if you don't mind me asking? Are you anaemic with it? Is it all over itching? I do get all over body itching sometimes but it's primarily the heels of my feet, sometimes my hands. It also sometimes feels like burning/vibrating feeling.

Also concerned about peripheral neuropathy from the excessive alcohol but it scares me less than cirrhosis even though it can be serious! I suppose that is just as likely in my case but I seriously doubt I'll get referred to a neurologist any time soon. My gp just puts everything down to anxiety now. In this case because of the specific nature of my symptoms I really don't believe it is anxiety this time ;-/

[mummyanxious]

No I'm not anaemic. But my ferratin level was low at 25. I had a course of tablets but didn't repeat my prescription as they played havoc with my digestive system. Was retested and its only gone up to 26 :( Sometimes I get all over in cola weather but this is just hands and feet. Mainly hands.
I e had conflicting advice though. One go told me I should have tablets to top up as would make me less tired. Another said that level wouldn't cause any symptoms???

[allyp82]

I think there is quite conflicting info r.e ferritin in general. I read somewhere that for optimum health levels should be over 100!

Maybe there is a cumulative effect and you only get symptoms if you remain iron deficient for a while. Whilst researching my problems I have come a cross people with levels as low as 1-5 and they have some quite nasty neurological symptoms so I guess even being a bit low could cause vague symptoms and itching.

Gp apt tomorrow so I'm hoping they'll let me get a ferritin test!

[mummyanxious]

Well let us know how it goes and if you get any advice RE ferratin

[allyp82]

I will do! :)

[Fishmanpa]

Hi Ally,

Firstly, good going on stopping drinking. It's a proven fact that drinking and anxiety don't mix, especially if you're on meds.

Being that you've had several tests all ruling out liver issues, I believe the thing that stood out the most in your OP was what the doctor said to you at A&E.

"Lovely doctor spent ages talking to me, told me I have anxiety not cirrhosis to stop drinking and treat the anxiety."

That's it in a nutshell. You can certainly add healthy habits to your lifestyle and supplement your nutritional needs but the bottom line comes down to treating the issue you do have. Many have had success with CBT, therapy and meds, or a combination thereof.

Best of luck!

Positive thoughts

[allyp82]

Hi fishmanpa thanks for your kind message. He was such a nice doctor and I came out feeling positive. But the consultant for the fibroscan was not so nice, had no empathy for anxiety and basically made me feel like I was the lowest of the low and I think he was trying to scare me and succeeded big time! I'm ready for a mega lifestyle change now as I have my beautiful daughter to think about but I just wish I could get to the bottom of my symptoms even if they are not liver related. I still don't believe they are anxiety related this time unless my brain is that clever it can mimic all the symptoms ha ha ;-)

[Fishmanpa]

Hi fishmanpa thanks for your kind message. He was such a nice doctor and I came out feeling positive. But the consultant for the fibroscan was not so nice, had no empathy for anxiety and basically made me feel like I was the lowest of the low and I think he was trying to scare me and succeeded big time! I'm ready for a mega lifestyle change now as I have my beautiful daughter to think about but I just wish I could get to the bottom of my symptoms even if they are not liver related. I still don't believe they are anxiety related this time unless my brain is that clever it can mimic all the symptoms ha ha ;-)

Your mind is capable of a lot more than mimicking symptoms. Just as a comparison.... I'm a lot older than you and throughout my life have more than likely consumed 3X the amount of alcohol you have and my liver is fine. The rest of me is another story! ~lol~

Best to start treating what you have control over. Speak to your GP about the meds again. Many here have had success and it may be just the thing to help you over the hump.

Positive thoughts

[allyp82]

Thank you fishmanpa, I will think about the meds again, I did start to feel slightly better on them (anxiety wise). My poor husband is suffering now again with my being irritable and moody from the stress! And I don't want it to affect my daughter. Just worried if my liver is unhappy that they might make things worse, but at least I won't be drinking :)

[allyp82]

So just an update mummyanxious r.e my ferritin, it is normal at 52. So unlikely that's causing my symptoms. Kind of a shame I was hoping it was something that simple. All my blood tests were normal - I really wasn't expecting them to be. I have now realised I am losing hair from my eyebrows and 'down below' so I'm finding it really hard not to freak out. My anxiety was so bad over the bank hol weekend waiting for the blood results that I think my mum almost tried to hospitalise me as she just didn't know what to do with me! Embarrassing or what! Anyway, onwards, hope everyone had a nice Easter x