Haloes
06-04-14, 23:29
Hello,
So I am new on No More Panic and decided to tell my story. I am 24 (as of Friday) and a Masters student studying Business Taxation. I have a job lined up for after school, I have a loving family and the best boyfriend a woman could ever ask for. I also have a genetic heritage on my mom's side of panic attacks, agoraphobia, social anxiety, and depression along with a bunch of physical genetic problems from my dad's side. As of Fall last year, with the start of my masters and the final break up with my abusive and manipulative ex-boyfriend, I have begun my story with the family heritage with anxiety and panic attacks.
My sister developed them at the same age in a similar situation, after she moved away from all her family to go to school. I watched it progress for her and did not know it was happening until it was too late to truly help. She unfortunately developed agoraphobia and depression as well. I do not know if she ever became suicidal but I do not believe it was far off. Thank goodness we have an amazing family and my parents got her out of that bad situation and brought her home. It is now nearly three years later and she is still recovering. Once I realized I was having the same problems that she did I knew I wanted to be very proactive about getting help and support because I see her struggle, daily.
I started out simply feeling worried about exams, and being very bad at taking jokes. It got to the point where I could not tell if someone was serious or not because I was so on edge, constantly. Right before winter break things came to a head. I went to Las Vegas with some people from my program and the second night I was sitting on our couch watching a movie and I stood up to grab some food, and nearly fell over. I was having trouble breathing, I felt like my mind was not properly connected to my body (I had not had any form of intoxicant that day, had a proper day's sleep, and had eaten well), and my heart was pounding out of my chest. Obviously, I went to Emergency services just to be told that nothing was wrong with me. They did full blood work, EKG, even pregnancy tests. Nothing was physically wrong but I could not make myself feel better. That is probably the most terrified I have ever been in my life.
After that trip I went home for break, slept for about 3 weeks straight, re-met my current boyfriend who I have know since I was 17 but we had been out of touch for 3 years after a huge fight. I still have flares of panic attacks and irrational thoughts happen daily but I am working to control the terror-urges and hypochondriac-urges that come from regular physical aches/pains/warmth/tingles. I generally use exercise, healthy eating, and meditation to calm down as well as ridiculous amounts of talking, I am considering finding a therapist to provide relief to my boyfriend, parents, and sister :). I have panic attack pills but I find that the thought of taking them scares me into a panic attack almost every time so I have opted for different methods. Any hints, tips, or helpful thoughts are very much appreciated. I wanted to introduce myself, this is my anxiety-start story and I swear I am not a crazy.
Haloes
So I am new on No More Panic and decided to tell my story. I am 24 (as of Friday) and a Masters student studying Business Taxation. I have a job lined up for after school, I have a loving family and the best boyfriend a woman could ever ask for. I also have a genetic heritage on my mom's side of panic attacks, agoraphobia, social anxiety, and depression along with a bunch of physical genetic problems from my dad's side. As of Fall last year, with the start of my masters and the final break up with my abusive and manipulative ex-boyfriend, I have begun my story with the family heritage with anxiety and panic attacks.
My sister developed them at the same age in a similar situation, after she moved away from all her family to go to school. I watched it progress for her and did not know it was happening until it was too late to truly help. She unfortunately developed agoraphobia and depression as well. I do not know if she ever became suicidal but I do not believe it was far off. Thank goodness we have an amazing family and my parents got her out of that bad situation and brought her home. It is now nearly three years later and she is still recovering. Once I realized I was having the same problems that she did I knew I wanted to be very proactive about getting help and support because I see her struggle, daily.
I started out simply feeling worried about exams, and being very bad at taking jokes. It got to the point where I could not tell if someone was serious or not because I was so on edge, constantly. Right before winter break things came to a head. I went to Las Vegas with some people from my program and the second night I was sitting on our couch watching a movie and I stood up to grab some food, and nearly fell over. I was having trouble breathing, I felt like my mind was not properly connected to my body (I had not had any form of intoxicant that day, had a proper day's sleep, and had eaten well), and my heart was pounding out of my chest. Obviously, I went to Emergency services just to be told that nothing was wrong with me. They did full blood work, EKG, even pregnancy tests. Nothing was physically wrong but I could not make myself feel better. That is probably the most terrified I have ever been in my life.
After that trip I went home for break, slept for about 3 weeks straight, re-met my current boyfriend who I have know since I was 17 but we had been out of touch for 3 years after a huge fight. I still have flares of panic attacks and irrational thoughts happen daily but I am working to control the terror-urges and hypochondriac-urges that come from regular physical aches/pains/warmth/tingles. I generally use exercise, healthy eating, and meditation to calm down as well as ridiculous amounts of talking, I am considering finding a therapist to provide relief to my boyfriend, parents, and sister :). I have panic attack pills but I find that the thought of taking them scares me into a panic attack almost every time so I have opted for different methods. Any hints, tips, or helpful thoughts are very much appreciated. I wanted to introduce myself, this is my anxiety-start story and I swear I am not a crazy.
Haloes