HELP, PLEASE. Living is tiring and couldn't sleep at all

[jakekk]

Living in this world is so tiring cuz we gotta watch out those diseases all the time. I am a teenage boy and want to have my family and kids in the future. I am so scared of having HIV , therefore, I stopped having sex and swear to god I'm gonna wait till i meet someone i really fall for. I'm scared of getting blood test because I'm worried if the cotton ball has hiv virus on it. And i can't even go to dentist to get dental cleaning cuz there are cases that patients get transmitted hiv thru dental cleaning. I feel like living in this world is so tiring, i wish i was 80 years old and have my lover and children with me and i can just say goodbye to this world and no longer have to be worried about HIV! Why is HIV existed!!! Put it in this way: If you are a HIV+ male, who wants to marry to you as your wife and having a baby with HIV+ risk? Plus you can't really have intimate behaviours with ur lover because you never know! practise Safe sex is bullshit, there is no guarantee!!! Please someone gimme a guideline, I'm so stressed out everyday. Thank you

[Fishmanpa]

Hi Jakekk,

At your age, to have fears of HIV is somewhat normal as you're at an age where teens become sexually active. To have the irrational fears like contracting it from a cotton ball or transmission from the dentist is not normal.

I would recommend reading up on HIV and the ways it can be transmitted. You'll see there are only a few ways it can happen. I doubt, based on your current fears you're at any risk. Just be prudent in the future.

I would speak to your parents or school counselor concerning your fears as well.

Positive thoughts

[MyNameIsTerry]

Why not speak to your dentist about that particular fear and let them take you through why their practice is safe.

Yes, there are always extreme cases and the media feed on them. A medical professional, like your dentist, will give you the other side of the story and explain the safety protocols in place.

People with HIV have relationships. Many of them are already in them when they discover they have contracted HIV but it doesn't mean that they can't work through this with their partner and continue in that relationship.

Safe sex is possible, HIV or not. It just means you have to take certain precautions and know about any possible dangers. Thats a choice for those couples to take, if they wish to.

Those with HIV that are single have a responsibility to manage it and not pass it on. The rest of us just have to practice safe sex to prevent STI's from being transmitted, HIV or others.

Have you discussed your anxiety with your doctor? It would be worth it as they could refer you to some therapy to help you get this under control and back into perspective.

It sounds like you are scared of having a HIV test because of contracting it. Why not discuss this fear with them so they can explain the safety protocols. I would imagine a STI clinic is very used to anxious people who need reassurance anyway.

[jharden]

Hi Jake.

It sounds like you're having a bad time. Obsessive thoughts are never much fun. I've had my fair share of them too, though I've learnt to control them much better these days. Do you see a therapist or take medication? Obsessive and intrusive thoughts can often be helped with different strategies, medications and therapy techniques.

It can be scary to research things we have intrusive thoughts about, but I think it might help you in this case. HIV is a disease which sensible and careful adults are almost guaranteed not to contract. Furthermore, the incidence of HIV in Canada is extremely low. Do you have unprotected sex or share needles with others? That's pretty much the only way you could possibly end up with HIV.

I'd highly recommend you go and speak with your doctor or therapist about these fears.