Worried mum

[Trizzy]

I regularly visit this forum for peace of mind, I am a HA sufferer and have learnt to control it at times. I also notice the signs in other people and am worried for my son. He is having difficulty sleeping and says he has an overwhelming fear that sweeps over him. I have tried to get him to read symptoms on here to let him know others are going through the same but he keeps saying he is going mad. And no one can possibly feel the same.
He is in denial, I have asked him to see a doctor but he refuses. How can I help before it escalates I don't want him to have a life of fear.

[MyNameIsTerry]

I think you need to understand what is bothering him and why.

It's not necessarily going to be HA, it could be stress, it could be a different anxiety disorder, he may be having trouble in a relationship or at work, etc. So, it's probably best to try and understand this and then go from there.

He sounds in some form of denial. Admitting anxiety can be a problem, you have to admit it to yourself and then it becomes a fact to you. Talking about it can be hard at first and I think you have to also think about the fact that some forms of anxiety can be embarrassing or distressing. (I'm sure you know all this, I just want to point it out just incase because sometimes it's hard to see things when you are are so close) Some of the types of OCD for instance can make us feel like bad people and thats got to be hard to talk to your mum about.

If he's a young man, admitting something like this might feel like a weakness. It might feel like a failure. Sometimes we don't like talking to our parents about them. A third party whether the GP, a friend or a sibling can feel safer, so asking him to see his GP is a good move.

There is also the stigma issues. The first time you go through this, it can be a bit of a culture shock and you suddenly feel like the freak.

Would it help showing him some of the stories of people who have suffered this? This way you don't have to get into your HA because it's neutral ground. If he sometimes struggles accepting your HA, he may try to distance himself from talking about it and neutral ground might help. The Time For Change website, for instance.

It's hard to say because he won't confide in you, yet. I'm sure he will in time because as it develops it can get to hard on your own.

We are all different with our mental health issues as well. It's just as likely that he could conquer his rather than have to live with them so keep an open mind on it as it may manifest itself and be treated in a different manner to yours.

And lastly, I'm better it's making you very anxious as well so try to look after yourself.

All the best.


T