Absolutey terrified by death and the meaning of life?

[AnxiousPansa]

Hi everyone
My counsellor and I managed to boil down all my fears to the same thing today - a fear of death. It completely occupies my mind. Not an hour goes by that I don't think about death. Or why we are even here which equally terrifies me. Its hard to explain but for me its a fear of being trapped? Like I fear being trapped in my own body and the idea of eternity I find equally terrifying. I even worry about if there is a afterlife what am I going to do for the rest of eternity? :roflmao: I felt much better after talking to my counselor about it but now im feeling really bad again. I know no one can give me an answer but my mind whirres out of control with these horrifying ideas of the after life. Could these just be anxiou intrusive thoughts? Thank you :)

[inCOGnito]

Do you remember life before you were born? Why would you then be 'stuck' in eternity after death?

[AnxiousPansa]

That is a good point I think that thought is more of an intrusive thought than a belief

[rchippex]

I would definitely say these are intrusive obsessive thoughts. I used to have intrusive obsessive thoughts an awful lot. Mine were always the fear of hurting people. One fantastic book I read which helped me to combat this kind of thought was called the Imp Of The Mind. I forget the author but without that book I don't know how I would have coped with this symptom as it was my worst symptom by far and used to tip me into an anxious state on a daily basis. The book helped me to see the thoughts for what they are and to visualise them as my mind making an attempt to test my resolve and to put me into a fear cycle. I still get the odd thought these days even now I am 99% recovered but my mind rather than latching on and obsessing simply laughs and dismisses them.

[ChilliChocolate]

Can relate to this AP! Sorry I can't comment because don't feel in right frame of mind yet. I just wanted to say 'Hi' and let you know you're not alone. CC x

[sophrbk]

I'm struggling with this at the moment as well, as it's come on as a symptom of my general anxiety disorder. Seeing a counsellor too but will share anything I find helpful :) The main thing I'm doing at the minute is trying to accept that the thoughts are there - as soon as you trt and push it out of your mind they try even harder to get heard!

[MyNameIsTerry]

It sounds like you may have OCD as you are experiencing ruminations. I have OCD and whilst CBT is helpful, I have found Mindfulness meditation very helpful in breaking the cycle of thoughts and giving me back control. I think it would be useful to you because it's all about experiencing the now which I don't think you are feeling at all as you are obsessing about a far off future.


http://www.ocduk.org/types-ocd

Ruminations 'Rumination' is a term often used to describe all obsessional intrusive thoughts, but this is misleading. In the context of OCD a rumination is actually a train of prolonged thinking about a question or theme that is undirected and unproductive. Unlike obsessional thoughts, ruminations are not objectionable and are indulged rather than resisted. Many ruminations dwell on religious, philosophical, or metaphysical topics, such as the origins of the universe, life after death, the nature of morality, and so on.
One such example might be where a person dwells on the time-consuming question: 'Is everyone basically good?'. They would ruminate on this for a long period of time, going over in their mind various considerations and arguments, and contemplating what superficially appeared to them to be compelling evidence.
Another example might be someone that ruminates about what would happen to them after death. They would weigh up the various theoretical possibilities, visualise scenes of heaven, hell, and other worlds and try to remember what philosophers and scientists have said about death.
With most ruminations it inevitably never leads to a solution or satisfactory conclusion and the person appears to be deeply pre-occupied, very thoughtful, and detached.

[AnxietySufferer]

I had the exact same thing, about 3 months ago it got really bad but now although it is still there the thoughts are a lot less severe. I do however still get 'what's the point' thoughts, I just can't help it when I just think well everything ends in death anyway so what is the point, were not going to remember our lives when were dead. But then I realised, well this argument can be turns on it's head... What would be the point in external life? Everything on earth has an end so the idea of anything else just wouldn't work, and death just makes life even more precious!
Although it has never appealed to me I know understand peoples need to be famous.. To be appreciated/ live on after death, it's almost like a way of trying to live an enternal life.
If you don't mind me asking how old are you? I was told by my councillor that these thoughts are most common in late teens an early 20s, this is because at this point your life's just beginning so the thought of it ending is an extremely scary thought because of all the things you want to do in life. However, once you get older you will start to accept death, obviously this cannot be applied to everyone but it helped me a little anyway.
I think the reason we worry so much about it is because it is the only thing we can 100 percent guarantee is going to happen to us, I also think that modern society and third world countries allow us to feel like we will live forever, not saying that's a bad thing but I think that's why the thought of death really hits home, since as children we don't really understand death or ever think our life will end!

[AnxiousPansa]

Thank you for all you replies :) Yep Terry that sounds exactly like what I do - a lot of it! hehe and anxiety sufferer I am 17 and what you put is very true for me I feel like theres so much I wanna do in life and im scared of being hed back by anxiety, dying young etc I think It also could be triggered by transition into adulthood im going from having everything done for me to do everything for myself! I shall look into mindfullness :)

[AnxietySufferer]

That makes a lot of sense I'm the exact same age �� I really do believe it is something that gets easier with time, I definitely realise my problem is dying young, and it means that my not living how I want to live because every day I seem to think there's a sign that I'm not gonna be around for much longer... And I think that frustrates me because I feel like it's stopping me from doing so much which makes the thought of dying even worse! If you ever need to talk to someone of the same age let me know ��, I really know what your going through!

[AnxiousPansa]

You basically just described my thoughts right now hehe thank you very much :) x

[swgrl09]

I had this difficulty (and still do sometimes) after my mom died ... "Staring at the Sun" by Yalom was really helpful to me. It's about existential anxiety and how to accept it and work through it. Existential anxiety, for those who don't know, is anxiety over dying, the meaning of life, etc. It was a good read.

[natperez89]

I've been going trough the same thing for 3 months. The little times I don't think aboutnit I feel OK. But than it pops in my head and I get so much fear I have nightmares even i wake up every morning anxious and scared I just started celexa so hopefully this will help.

[eve22]

Im 22 and when i started having really bad anxiety attacks i started feeling the same way! I have 4 kids under the age 6 so its really hard when i have these negative thoughts! It takes over to the point im scared to go to sleep at night, to go outside or even stay home alone with my kids and im a stay home mom! It started after i had my last baby 5 months ago!

[Tessar]

In the end..... for me..... the way I have had to deal with fears of a similar nature is by focusing elsewhere.
I have tried to figure out the whole purpose or point of life thing but all I do is go round in endless circles & this just makes things worse. The best way of "dealing" with my confusion (it seems) has been getting on with my life.
I have genuinely tried to figure it all out. Trouble is, no matter what I read, where I look ..... I don't find any answers. I don't feel, for me at least, there is an answer. So, I have more or less stopped "digging" since it has got me absolutely nowhere. I just end up thoroughly bemused.
So, when it comes to meaning, I have no answers & it has been more productive for me not to keep on searching. Instead I am putting my energies towards living day to day. I try not to think too far into the future because all it does is wind me up. Why waste time winding myself up? Especially if it means I am busy worrying instead of living my life.
I have read so many posts by people here who are bothered by various things. Nobody is willing or able to let those "things" go & so they end up further and further sucked into whatever it is that bothers them. Is exactly what I have been doing for years.
For me the solution to my issue came about pretty much by accident. i have been so busy getting on with life & getting busy day to day (mostly by necessity especially where work is concerned) I have realised I have more or less stopped worrying about the distant future.
I know that isn't a solution as such since it doesn't answer any of my questions but it does demonstrate I can still get on with life (enjoying it & feel fulfilled). I don't actually need to solve this debate of mine about the meaning of life to survive.
Perhaps after all I can live life without answers.
A few years ago i had lengthy therapy. i expected to be provided with answers to everything. I did indeed solve many issues & with guidance I healed greatly. Even though my self-esteem improved vastly I felt disappointed that some of my issues remained unresolved. I wanted answers.
Well.... Many years down the line, I have gone about living life. I have accomplished many things I had thought were impossible. I have had issues the last couple of years & have been seeing a counsellor. Again I have resolved more of my issues. I have gained in self-belief & confidence. Much of the time, instead of debating, I try to just get on with things. Not to let the endless thoughts, doubts & worries get in the way... because indeed they are mostly pointless & just not worth time debating.
And do you know..... one of the most productive experiences i have had this last year has involved facing my worst fear .... which is of course death. I have tried explaining to my counsellor about it all but again I don't really make alot of sense. We don't really seem to get anywhere on it.
So.... How have things improved? well Last year I had an opportunity through work to do some trips which involved flying. To me flying seems a very unnatural activity. Planes defy logic every time they take off. It doesn't make sense & it's a scary though exhilarating experience. Well, since then I have managed many, many flights. As u can imagine, to start of with every flight was accompanied by morbid thoughts at some point. I was anxious indeed. But now having got on with it & repeatedly faced this fear, it has lessened to the extent that I can get on a plane & not need to be fearful. I enjoy the trips now & look forward to them instead of fearing the worst or worrying.
This has become a bit of a ramble now I know but what I am trying to say is that you could spend hours, weeks, months or even years wasting time debating.
All that debate will amount to nothing since it may be there are no answers.
I have often read posts on here from people who have overcome illness or adversity who always suggest to others not to worry about so many things that might never happen. Instead they encourage everyone to simply enjoy life and make the most of every day.
So that's why I try to put my time & energy into experiencing life......
Well, If you are still awake, thank you for reading & I'd be interested to know if my thoughts are helpful or make sense?