Anxiety attacks from missing a girl I'm in love with, can you help?

[GregVelo]

Hi. I'm Greg, I'm 21 and I'm new on the forum.
Recently I've started to date this girl and I like her a lot. Officialy we're not together yet, but it's clear we both have feelings. Everything seems to be great, but in the last period I started to develop some symptoms that really mess me up, and they scare me: when I’m not with her, I start missing her too much, anxiety kicks in without a particular reason and I can't do anything 'cause I can't focus and I lose control; everything reminds me of her, even the little things. I can’t handle it, because I try, but still nothing. It’s like a brutal craving that lasts hours. The only thing that seems to lessen it, is hanging out with someone or when I am at work. I have lots of hobbies, but none of them work because I can’t concentrate on them. It’s like an addiction, the more I spend time with her the more these attacks become powerful. The only thing I’d like to do in those moments is be with her, but I know there is no point in that.
Have you ever experienced something like that or am I the only one? If you have, do you suggest me something? Thanks for your time, I really appreciate any kind of help here.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Hi Greg,

Is this the first time or does it happen with other people as well?

[GregVelo]

Hi Terry.
This is the first time that is happening.

[ChilliChocolate]

Sounds like me with my first 'love'! Is this girl your first real girlfriend?

It sounds terribly romantic but at the same time it's great that you're recognising that it's like an addiction. There was a recent study that certain parts of the brain are activated when we become romantically attached which are linked to motivation, reward, cravings and also suffering. What you are feeling is normal BUT the problem lies when it starts to affect your daily life and other relationships. You sound like you still have your head on your shoulders - what is your mind telling you?

BTW, congrats that you have found someone special. :D

[GregVelo]

Thank you for the reply. This is my second real girlfriend if we can call it so. I think I should formalize the relationship as soon as I can, because I believe that most of the issue comes from this. Thank you for the precious help.

[MyNameIsTerry]

You need to be realistic about it Greg, whether you formalise a relationship is up to both of you and rushing in isn't always the best way. Even if she didn't want to commit now, she may later as she wants more time to get to know you and to this end, you need a strategy to stop this anxiety.

You need to feel more relaxed and comfortable away from her. I'm not sure what to suggest, relationships aren't my main thing when it comes to understanding anxiety, so perhaps Mindfulness meditation and relaxation techniques such as Calming Technique and Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR). Maybe even exercise to burn off some adrenaline.